He didn't know how to feel about all of this.
He was well-known in Konoha for a reason. He was a leader - a man respected amongst the highest of shinobi. Everyone trusted him when it came to his position as a leader: the way he thought through situations with ease, allowing an easy success and zero casualty rate. Even the most difficult of missions didn't faze him.
He was one of a kind.
But this time, it was different.
He failed a mission - one that he was in charge of - and he didn't realize how painful and unbearable it would be. Everyone in Konohagakure had faith in his status as a leader, but everything changed because of that unpredictable jutsu.
He always enjoyed being a leader; he enjoyed serving Konoha. He felt like that he was bound to that loyalty, and that everyone depended on him. The feeling of helping people was satisfying to him.
And then he had his subordinates... no, his comrades, being loyal and obedient to him. He was the one with the power and control. He was the one to assign them to where they would go.
But he had to be careful. He had to think every single move ahead of time. After all, if he placed someone where their abilities were lacking in their assigned area, they could be killed off. Suddenly, it would become a domino effect: after one shinobi falls, it would allow the enemy to kill off many more of his shinobi, until eventually he's stuck and has to retreat. Worst case scenario, they would all die.
The idea of failure was always at the back of his mind. It did unsettle him at times, but his determination and pride always overpowered it. He made sure to never fail. He made sure to be careful.
But he didn't realize how painful it would be.
For the first time in his life, he looked at one of his fallen comrades - it hurt. They were stained in the colour of their own blood, the substance so dark it looked almost black.
It was their eyes that hurt the most.
Those eyes, once full of life. Once full of love for their village that they were willing to defend with their own life, would gradually begin to dull. He could see it on their faces - he was the one that caused them to die, he was the one who didn't think things through, he was the murderer in the end. That realization would hit them, and then death would take them away.
He couldn't even picture the feeling of when he arrives in Konoha, with very few of his comrades left. Loved ones of the fallen would still be oblivious; they were just waiting to see them again, their warmth radiating right next to them.
Little did they now that the next time they saw them they would be cold.
He could picture it already: their bodies would shake uncontrollably, their tears would fall heavily, their cries would pierce the heavens itself. And there he would stand, with an expression as hard as stone, showing nothing... not even the eyes would reveal how he felt.
The loved ones would consider him to be heartless.
But that wasn't true at all. He considered them to be family.
It was the way of shinobi: you couldn't show emotion, because that would show weakness.
Words were too small to describe how he felt. How he wished he thought things through with caution.
How he wished he took their place instead.
Chi hated this feeling. Even writing in his journal wasn't helping. Instead, it was just mindless scribbles against the once blank paper.
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Amnesia | Naruto Fanfiction
Fanfiction[COMPLETE] Amnesia. That sums up Kirishima Hibiki in one word, who ended up having no recollection of her past other than remembering three things: 1. Her name. 2. Her status as a kunoichi. 3. That someone had purposefully taken her memories...
