The Night That Changed It All

Tragedy Strikes

I was pregnant. Again. And worried. Again. At twenty four weeks, Daniel, which was the name we'd given to the new baby, should be kicking up a storm, but he hadn't so much as moved in over a week, which is where the worry comes in.

It also didn't help that Dr O'Mara had been a bit skeptical at the twenty week scan or that I wasn't as big as I had been at this stage in either of my other pregnancies. All of this just added to my sense of dread that there may be something seriously wrong.

"Don't worry too much about it, Ni. You know Dr. O'Mara would have told us at the twenty week scan if something was really wrong." Liam murmured in what I assume was supposed to be a reassuring tone. I was way beyond the point of reassurance however, and his attempts did little to calm my jumping nerves. 

It was like Lily Ann all over again. I only hoped that this time turned out to be just as insignificant as it was then. We were lucky then, that nothing had been wrong and Lily Ann was healthy, but what if we weren't so lucky this time? As it was with both Lily Ann and Cathal, I already couldn't imagine a world that didn't involve this child, who was, right now, barely half formed. Or should be, at least.

"That was a month ago, Lili. A lot can happen in a month." I replied, biting my fingers apprehensively as I paced around the room: too full of nervous energy to sit down for more than five minutes at a time. I'd already bitten all my nails to the beds, which was what I normally did when I was nervous or worried over something.

"Come here." Liam suddenly commanded, his voice gentle as he beckoned me over before he gave me a look when I remained standing.

"Lili......." I sighed, still not moving, though even I could hear the defeat that laced my tone. I was too exhausted to come up with any real argument but that didn't stop me from trying.

"No, just come here." Liam repeated firmly and that was all it took to crumble my already shaking resolve. After I trudged over to him, Liam pulled me down, so I was sitting on his knee, and began his lecture. "Listen; it's fine. If there is something wrong, we can overcome that hurdle when it comes. Until that happens, you just have to stay calm and take care of yourself. OK? There's nothing you can do right now and pacing around with a nervous twitch isn't going to help any."

"Alright......." I mumbled in defeat, cuddling into Liam's side with a sigh as I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled weakly up at him when he kissed my forehead lightly. Even after everything we'd been through together, I still got little tingles across my skin whenever he touched me and that's how I knew I really loved him.

Thankfully, Karen and Geoff had come to visit today and decided to take Lily Ann, who was now fifteen, and Cathal, who was five, out for a few hours, so neither of them were present to see my little nervous break down. Unfortunately, it was that very moment that they returned. I really could have done with another few hours of recouping before I had to pretend everything was OK.

"Well, boys. Did you have fun while we were gone?" Karen asked as she trooped in with Geoff, Lily Ann and Cathal, who, being someone who really liked hugging, came and sat on my lap where I was still sitting on Liam's knee.

"Yeah....." We both replied dubiously after sharing a look that everyone, besides Cathal who was chatting away happily about what they did all evening, seemed to pick up on. None of them said anything, though, which I was glad for. Right now, if I was to bring back up all my worries for our unborn child, I would probably just cry. Which we did not want, especially with a very sensitive five year old in the room.

"Uh......me and Cathal are gonna go finish his jigsaw." Lily Ann announced into the silence, before she came over and held her hand out for Cathal to take. "Coming, buddy?"