The Night That Changed It All

First Anniversary

It'd been one year exactly since we lost Daniel and as I curled further into Liam's side that morning, I tried not to think too much about it. It'd only been a few months earlier that I'd finally been able to face the world and I didn't want to go back to hiding out all the time; spending my time either crying or pretending I wasn't falling apart for Cathal's sake.

He was the only one who hadn't been subjected to my sudden outbursts of fitful tears. Even the media, who'd mostly left us alone in recent years, had stuck their noses back into our lives after our tragedy had become public knowledge. And they, of course, took it just a bit too far, as they always do, which didn't help at all.

"Dad?" Lily Ann asked from where she sat across from me at the table, munching on a bowl of cereal and watching intently as I played with my wedding ring which was something I did a lot. Either that or practise guitar chords in the air.

"Yeah?" I replied, looking up just as Liam wandered in, looking slightly lost and more than a little confused. Knowing him, he'd probably lost something again.

"Can I come with you today?" Lily Ann asked, immediately getting Liam's attention and pulling him away from his search for whatever it was that he'd misplaced this time. Probably the car keys. He was always losing those.

"You want to come with us to......" I started, but I couldn't quite bring myself to say 'Daniel's grave' so let my voice fade away. It was still so unreal and I felt like acknowledging where we were going today would just make it harder to come to terms with. Although, it had been a year. When would it get easier to cope with? Never, it seemed.

"Yeah......I just think it would help me to......see it. Like, maybe once I have, I'll have some kind of closure or something." Lily Ann sighed, glancing up at Liam when he stepped up behind my chair and rested his hands on my shoulders.

"Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly, gripping my shoulders when Lily Ann nodded, before looking down at me questioningly. After a silent exchange of raised eyebrows that almost comprised a conversation, I turned back to Lily Ann, who had been watching us closely.

"Alright. If you really want to, you can come with us. But if you change your mind just say and you can stay with Zayn and Perrie like Cathal." I explained, smiling slightly when Lily Ann nodded in understanding. We'd agreed not to bring Cathal with us when we visited Daniel's grave just yet. He was still very young and we didn't want to put him through that. Once he started to understand what had happened to his brother, there would be nothing we could do to stop him visiting, but until then, we didn't want to haunt him with it. Lily Ann clearly wasn't any better off for knowing.

"Do you think it's a good idea? Bringing her, I mean?" Liam asked in a barely audible whisper once Lily Ann had gotten up and left. After sitting down next to me at the table, he took one of my hands in his and started to rub circles into the back of it, looking up at me with his head still bowed forward, kind of like Louis sometimes does when he's looking at someone over the top of his glasses.

"I don't know, Li, but we can't really tell her she can't come. And maybe she's right: maybe actually seeing it will help her get over it. You know as well as I do, she hasn't really been the same since it happened." I sighed, taking my hand from Liam's so I could cup his face with both of mine and resting my forehead against his with my eyes closed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Liam murmured, leaning forward so he could kiss me lightly, then bumping his nose into mine affectionately. Thankfully, our relationship had finally been able to come out the other side, even if we couldn't, and we were back to cuddling each other close and sharing sudden, heartfelt kisses.

"When am I not right, Li?" I joked, opening my eyes to see Liam grinning at me before he leaned forward to kiss me lightly again. This time when he pulled away, I brought my hand up to the back of his head, so I could pull him into another, longer kiss.