The Night That Changed It All

After IT Happened

Today was definitely a bad day. One of the worst ones actually. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night, Lily Ann had gone back to school today, it was Cathal's first day of actual school and I was just feeling vulnerable. Which is why I was currently curled up in a ball on the floor in the sitting room; sobbing erratically and trying to be quite about it.

"Niall? Have you seen the-?" Liam's question was cut short as he walked into the room; seeing me crying on the floor. "Oh, honey. Don't cry, baby. What's wrong? Is it Daniel again?"

"I miss him." I hiccuped, clutching Liam's t-shirt in a closed fist and crying into his shoulder when he sat on the floor next to me, pulled me up so I was sitting in his lap and rapped his arms around me. We'd had this conversation hundreds of times in the last few weeks and I knew immediately what his answer would be.

"I know, baby. I do, too, but crying about it isn't going to solve anything. We have to be strong for Lily Ann and Cathal." Liam murmured, rocking me gently and pressing his lips to my forehead for a second before resting his chin on the top of my head.

"We never even got to hold him." I whimpered, snuggling closer into Liam and gasping repeatedly as I tried to stop the tears. Crying may not help any but it was hard to stop once you'd started, especially when you were crying over something that hit so close to home.

"Shhh; it's OK. Just try to breath normally, OK? Can you do that for me? Just breath, Ni. Everything will be fine." Liam whispered into my hair; tightening his arms around me as I tried to do what he asked.

"I'm sorry......." I mumbled, hiccuping again as I finally managed to slow the flow of tears. They didn't stop completely, but I was getting there. Baby steps, I thought dryly with an inaudible sigh.

"Don't be sorry, Ni. None of this is your fault. None of it, OK?" Liam reassured fiercely, pulling away slightly so he could look me in the eye. I nodded stiffly. Not really believing it and just wanting to keep Liam happy. Searching my face carefully, Liam sighed exasperatedly before pulling me into another, tighter hug. He'd clearly noticed that I didn't really believe that this wasn't my fault. "I love you, Niall."

"I love you, too, Liam." I replied; leaning away so I could smile weakly at him before kissing him lightly. He seemed a bit surprised at first; this was the first time we'd kissed properly since finding out about Daniel, after all, but his surprise melted away quickly and he kissed me back, tenderly.

He'd been so careful with me these past few weeks; as if he was afraid I might break like fragile china if he was anything but extremely gentle. Which, in all honesty, was a distinct possibility. I'd felt like fragile china, and still did, so he was treating me exactly how I need to be treated.

"How about - how about this; we'll call the school and see if you can talk to Lily Ann. Just about how her day's going. Yeah?" Liam suggested after a minute of cuddling, pulling away to look at me as a small smile spread across my face. 

Lily Ann had been extremely supportive throughout this whole ordeal and I loved to talk to her when I was particularly upset. Even just talking with her about the mundane calmed me down. I think it was mostly because she was our first born and completely healthy, so it was reassuring to know we still had her and Cathal, who didn't really understand too much of what was going on.

"Yeah..... Do you think they'll let me?" I asked uncertainly, looking up at Liam hopefully and smiling when he cupped my face in his hands; wiping away the last of my tears with his thumbs before kissing my forehead again.

"I don't know, Ni. I'll just call and see." Liam murmured, before scooping me up in his arms, making me gasp, and placing me on the settee, where I waited patiently while he went off to call the school. Once he returned, he held the phone out to me with the explanation of; "They're going to get Lily Ann now." After I took the phone from him, Liam sat next me, rapping his arm around my waist and letting me rest my head on his chest.