Inhaler Boy ((Jeffmads))

Feelings mentally admitted and a fight scheduled.

(Feelings mentally admitted and a fight scheduled.)

10 minutes late to class.
10 reasons to want to fake being sick.
10 people that I don't want staring at me.

1 that was staring with a smile and two thumbs up. I took a deep breath and held up my note cards, fiddling to get the rubber band off from around them. I had a presentation to show off. Not something I wanted to do but I kinda didn't want to flunk out and have to move to Virginia because I couldn't survive up in New York. My throat was tight and I knew I needed my inhaler, but I couldn't do it in front of everybody like this, and I left it with Thomas Jefferson anyway. He was seated in the front row with a bit reassuring smile. Right next to Alexander who have an exaggerated yawn. He checked the clock and looked at me like Cmon, inhaler boy, are you gonna talk or stall the next 20 minutes of class? I finally got the rubber band off and stepped closer to the podium, just needing something to touch to remind me that I was alive and I was real. But, my shoelaces swiftly betrayed me and my cards were scattered on the floor, out of order. Mmm, yup, God kill me now I can not wait to die. I have crippling depression im gonna go home and die.

Thomas scrambled to the floor in front of me and pulled out a copy of my cards from his pocket. They were already out of the rubber band and ready to be read to the class. He winked and my heart skipped a beat, taking control of my actions and walking me to the front of the room.

I took a deep breath and smiled, glancing at my cards. "In Hurricane, Utah, 1987, horrific and mysterious tragedy struck for one innocent young child." The rest of the presentation went a bit shaky. My head was starting to buzz and my stomach was churning violently like i was on a roller coaster. And I still can't believe nobody ratted out to the teacher that I decided to do my free choice presentation on the Five Nights at Freddy's storyline. The bell rang a few minutes after I was done and I raced to the bathroom, Thomas following not too far behind.

Once I was in there and I knew I was alone I dropped to my knees. Thomas held my hair back as I threw up, barely able to breath because of the anxiety rising up. He rubbed my back, whispering sweet reassurances as I wiped my mouth with a wad of toilet paper.

"You did so well, James, you really did." He whispered, rubbing circles on my back. Or maybe I was just imagining things because my head was so fuzzy. Footsteps were heard and I could feel Thomas' gentle touch quickly pull away. The warmth was gone and I sighed, flushing the toilet and weakly standing up. Alexander stood there, a smug grin. "Taking care of your inhaler boyfriend, Jefferson?" Alex laughed at his own insult like it was actually amusing and worth the breath. I hugged myself and looked away, busying myself at the sink. Jefferson noticed my attitude and quickly resonded, "I'm not in the mood for a fight, Hamilton. We're busy." Alex asked, "With what? Kissing each other's faces off in the stall?"

"He just puked cut us a break."
"Was that too much breath for you, Jamie?"
"Don't call him that, Alexander."
"That remind you of your daddy?"

Thomas growled, his face red. I didn't even give him a nod of agreement before his fist was in Alexander's face, causing him to stumble backwards and hit the mirror. He wanted to do more, I know he did, but I grabbed thomas' hand and ran, evading the scene. Thomas could not get any more detentions or it would lead to a bigger punishment. I needed Thomas with me.

Yeah, don't I always. Thomas huffed, and once we were away from the scene he started up in a rant. "I can not believe he calls you that still and KNOWS how you feel about it! I don't go around bugging with his friends! I don't go up to John Laurens and start talking about his dad! He is so obnoxious, stupid, annoying, ignorant, and just a complete and utter nuisance to our lives, James!" I simply nodded along, only pretending to pay attention. I was lost in his eyes. They were filled with passion and luster, ready for any kind of battle. God, it was so hot. I quickly looked away, not wanting to get any thoughts similar to the ones I would get at night.

Yes, I was in love with Thomas. I came to terms with this about 5 months ago but I've loved him for about 3 or 4 years. I was just really scared to admit that I was gay. I knew women weren't a main interest in my life and I knew that boys were pretty cute but it never really hit me until I saw Thomas. Straight posture, fashion sense, beautiful brown eyes, curly black hair, glasses, a well built frame that could even lift somebody like me, a soft laugh that made my heart clutter with a helpless feeling. Thomas was perfect. My perfect. But, he would never date me. I'm not like that. I don't have the it. All I am to him is a tag along friend. Somebody that just hangs around so bullies don't target him.

"James, you haven't touched your food." Thomas said, taking a drink of whatever was in his cup. Most likely something hot from somewhere, he always got something hot. I preferred cold things. "Oh, I'm not too hungry."

"$20 says you didn't have breakfast."
"So what?"
"You dont eat breakfast or lunch and I've seen you eat dinner, it's barely enough."
"Your point?"

"You haven't been eating a lot recently and..." Thomas trailed off, his expression softening. I shifted nervously in his seat, but I already knew I was caught. No words were spoken until I hesitantly ate a bit of the school lunch, swallowing my food and meeting eye contact with Thomas. He had a happy smile on his face and I pushed my plate away, already wanting to throw up again after 3-4 bites. Finally the bell rang and we went to our classes, saying goodbye. He wished me good luck too.

My next class was with Alexander, Lafayette, and Hercules. Band class. John Laurens was a choir student, not a band kid. I played the percussion, Alexander just about anything he could get his hands on, Lafayette the trumpet, and Hercules the saxophone.

"Hey you playing the triangle today?" Hercules laughed, punching me in the arm as he walked past me. Thomas would immediately have a comeback about the Sax. Something good. I wasn't Thomas though, so I just went to my seat and lightly raped my fingers against the snare drum. A satisying beat playing out. Alexander made it his life goal to always tip over my music stand as he walked past.

Right on cue here he was, walking past as his buddies snickered. Now I don't know if it was a fit of rage or I lost my mind. As he tipped it I caught it with my hand and put it back up, scowling. "Nothing better to do then pick on a person 2 feet talked than you, Hamilton?" Oh my god what is wrong with me I am dead. I am so dead. Shit shit shit shit shit!

Hercules stood up, a full foot taller than me. I gulped and tried to hold my ground, but I only coaered beneath his glare. "What was that, Jamie-"

"DON'T CALL ME JAMIE OR I'LL SHARPEN MY DRUMSTICKS INTO KNIVES AND DIG THEM RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS YOU 6'8" PIECE OF BULL CRAP!"

...

The classroom was in silence. I could feel my fave burning up with rage. Lafayette's eyes were filled with pure. Fucking. Rage. He walked up to me and shoved me to the ground, growling like a feral dog. "WE'LL SEE YOU IN THE ALLEY NEXT DOOR WHEN SCHOOL GETS OUT! NOUS ALLONS TE TUER, FREAK!!!" He practically screamed, walking back to his seat. I gulped and went to the back of the class. My hands were trembling as I picked up my drum sticks.

Not to self: Don't ever think "what would Thomas do?" ever again.

I almost started to cry when I roughly translated in my head what Lafayette had said to me.

WE'LL KILL YOU, FREAK!