Inhaler Boy ((Jeffmads))

oh damn

My arms ached.

The injuries all together were a swelled up right eye, bruises that littered my entire body like sprinkles on ice cream but not at all pleasant, a cut lip, a gash in the side of my static filled head, and what felt like a broken nose. When I got home Thomas was at my door, frantically typing away at his phone, worry on his face as he scrolled through what I assumed was social media. There were photos and videos scattered across the internet of the fight. God, I can't believe hes seeing all of that. How I was at the mercy of them. How I cowered and didn't even bother fighting back. When he saw me I looked away, avoiding all eye contact. I stepped into my apartment and walked to the bathroom, grabbing different medical supplies for my wounds. Thomas ran after me, shouting my name and rambling out apologies.

"James, James oh my god! I am so sorry! I didn't know it would be this bad! I didn't know they would take it this far! If I had known you would turn out like this I would have shown up I swear! I am so sorry!" Thomas rambled. He forced me to sit down as he grabbed the items from me, taking care of the wounds for me. I showed no emotion, I didn't want to. Last thing I wanted was to remember everything that happened. If I started talking about it I would start to ramble and then I would end up ranting about it and then probably admit something that I really don't want to and I would regret it A LOT. "Jefferson," I whispered, not daring to use his first name, "Please just... just stop... I really don't want to hear anything that could remind me of the previous events that happened today... please..."

"Do you want me to go beat the shit out of Alexander?"
"No."
"I can. I will. You can see what I can do to him!"
"Jefferson."
"James, just let me do this for you!!!!"

I snapped.

"NO!" I shouted, standing up. "LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU! I AM FINE! I JUST WANT TO FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH AND FORGET THIS HAPPENED! I WANT TO FORGET THAT I SCREAMED YOUR NAME WHEN LAFAYETTE SLAMMED MY HEAD ON THE WALL! I WANNA FORGET THAT I PLEADED MERCY WHEN HAMILTON KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH! I WANT TO FORGET THAT THE PEOPLE IN SCHOOL FILMED MY MISERY AND PUBLICLY POSTED IT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE! I WANNA FORGET THAT YOU WEREN'T THERE TO HELP! I WANT TO FORGET, JEFFERSON! I! WANT! TO! FORGET!" I stormed to my room and slammed the door, locking it shut and pushing my desk in front of it for extra measure. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE AND LEAVE ME ALONE! IF NOT THEN MAKE A CUP OF TEA AND WAIT ON THE COUCH FOR ME TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER BECAUSE I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY AND I JUST NEED A MINUTE TO REMEMBER THAT I AM IN DEEP PAIN AND HAVE NOBODY TO COMFORT ME!!!!" I heard silence on the other side of the door and then footsteps leading away. Damnit, I really don't want him to go. He's like the only reason I'm not grabbing a razor and cutting my wrists open. I felt a wave of relief as the sink in the kitchen was turned on.

With a couple deep breaths I took out my inhaler. Okay, I am definitely not going to survive the next couple of days at school. But I can't put it off forever. People will just wait. This was something that was going to be remembered for the rest of the year, maybe longer. "I'm not gonna make it." I whispered, wiping my eyes. Hesitantly, I fixed my posture and moved the desk, going to the living room and sitting on the couch next to Thomas. There was a mug filled with peppermint tea, my favorite kind. How the hell he remembered it was my favorite, I don't know. But, he did, and it made me happy.

Thomas scooted closer to me and so did I. I carefully placed my hand over his, intertwining our fingers. He did not pull away, instead quickly turning to face me and pulling me close by my waist. He hugged me, burying his head in my neck. He mumbled things against my skin but I couldn't hear him. I was crying, tears rolling down my cheeks. The moon shined from the window, our shadows being cast over the floor next to us.

"Don't leave me"
"I wont let go."

We had spoken almost in unison. I dug my hands into his shirt, pulling him as close to my body as I could. I was sore and the effort sent waves of pain through my arms, but I needed him. I needed Thomas Jefferson. I just needed him close to me like this, always with me and next to me. This was so amazing to feel. His chest on mine, my hands in his hair, his hands around my waist, his lips just touching the bare skin of my soft neck. God how I prayed that he would kiss me. On my neck, on my cheek, on our lips. Our lips could be connecting in a soft waltz, a constant flow of motion and tranquility against each other. I could feel my heart racing and Thomas pulled away. He looked into my eyes and the moon shined on his face, outlining his beautiful features. Dank those cheekbones could tear down a man and then lift him back up again.

"Do you want this," He whispered, placing one hand on my cheek, "Do you want this, James? I need to be sure." I nodded and slowly connected our lips. It was the most amazing feeling I had felt in my life. His lips were soft and they tasted like vanilla. They were cold and my tears mixed into the kiss, a salty taste lingering between our connection. He pulled away and almost growled, moving to my neck. He left no marks or bruises as evidence of his lips being on the area, but I could already tell that my lips were going to be a bit purple later. He tugged on my shirt, starting to trail down my collarbone and shoulder. Before he could go any farther I tugged him away by his hair, bringing our lips back together. Thomas grinded against me, slipping his hands up my shirt. A sinful moan escaped my lips and I crashed back into reality, pushing him off and catching my breath. I fumbled around in my pockets for my inhaler. He reached for me again, wanting more but I got off the couch, taking my inhaler out and trying to catch my breath. My heart was racing at a severe rate and I could feel my throat closing up.

Thomas leaned back on the couch, his legs spread a bit, almost inviting me to sit in his lap. Even for just a second, it wouldn't hurt right? No... No, I couldn't continue this. I sat on the other side of the couch and kept my hands to myself, looking at our shadows on the floor. A peaceful silence fell over us that gave me time to think. My thoughts, that I previously hypothesized would be racing at the speed of light, were actually going slow, at a peaceful walk. Maybe this was what love was like. Not a racing, heart crushing, soul wrenching feeling but something much soother. A feeling that put you at peace, even if you were in one of the most terrible situations. A kind of feeling that made you feel like you were floating at the bottom of the ocean, but you could never drown.

I could never drown with Thomas here next to me.

He slowly reached a hand over and I held one finger. He equally held only one finger and I smiled, closing my eyes. His company seemed to be much better than conversation. There was nothing that needed to be said between us, and it was like I could already hear and I already knew everything that he could and maybe would say to me. You're perfect, you're beautiful, I'll protect you, I'll make sure you're safe, you're going to be okay... He's actuallu already said most of these things to me.

"You can say I love you in a lot of different ways." I whispered, scooting closer to his body. I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth emitting off of his body. He pulled me close to him once again. But, instead, he pulled me downwards, laying on the couch with me on top of him. We laid there together, just enjoying the silence and company of one another. I could hear his heart thumping in his chest, and I could hear his soft, slow breaths. Once I knew he was asleep I kissed his cheek and whispered.

"Thank you for not drowning me, Thomas Jefferson."

((AH I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS!!! WOOHOO!!!!))