Inhaler Boy ((Jeffmads))

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It was like clockwork.

Thomas would still be around time to time, but most of the time he was gone. After bribing several people, I eventually found out that Thomas had a sort of schedule.

Tuesday he was with me. Wednesday and Thursday he was with Jentsie. Friday and Saturday he was with Hamilton. Sunday was his day off. Monday was his one night stand day.

Tuesday morning, around 1 am, he would stumble into my house and plop himself onto the couch. Of course he was drunk, why else would he show up? I would get him some water and painkillers for his hangover, and he would say I love you.

Of course I hate this. It's awful. He's always out with somebody else and whenever he is with me has texting somebody. I know I'm gonna get replaced any day now. But, I'm not letting him go until that day comes. Might as well enjoy him while I have him right? Whatever.

It was clockwork.

Until the fourth week.

It was Wednesday, which meant we were on the couch together, cuddling and doing stupid stuff. This was the usual for us. We would put a random movie in and he would hold me close, complimenting me and saying I love you.

God if he only knew how much pain I was in every time he said that.

Thomas kissed my cheek and whispered, "Hey, James, let's do something fun." I froze for a second before shifting. "Like what?" I asked, curious.

I looked at him for a moment and he smirked, picking me up and flipping us around on the couch. He had me pinned down underneath him, holding my wrists above my head.

My face turned red and I rambled, "Th-Thomas I don't know if I'm ready for this I mean I love you b-believe me but I'm fragile and i-I know you can be rough and stuff hey that rhymed anyway i-" Thomas leaned down and began kissing my neck. He found my sweet spot and I gasped, holding back a moan.

"Th-Thomas no." I mumbled, my soft moans betraying my true intent. "Thomas yes~" He whispered, letting to of my wrists and taking my shirt off. I turned my head away, embarrassed by my flab.

Thomas tilts my head up and kisses me. "More of you to love, baby~" He whispers as he begins taking his shirt off. Oh my God this is going so fast and I don't even know if I'm ready and...

Deep down, I know this doesn't mean a thing to him. None of this means anything to Thomas. He's on a hangover, maybe even still drunk. Most likely, I could be anybody and he'd still be saying this stuff to me.

Jefferson wants a fuck, that's all he ever wants out of people anyway. Want want want and want that's all Jefferson is full of! But, I... I need Thomas. I don't want Jefferson. I need Thomas. I need Tommy. My Tommy.

With a huff of frustration I push him off before he can do a thing. He lets go of my belt and I scoot away on the couch, grabbing my shirt and pulling it over my body.

Jefferson stares in a sort of anger for a moment before that fades into confusion. His entire demeanor seems to change and he sits up straight. As he zips his jeans up I realize tears are starting to roll down my face.

Thomas's soft brown eyes meet mine and his hand reaches up to my cheek. He caresses it, soft and caring and sweet. "Tommy." I whisper, my voice short and cold.

I'm holding so many emotions back. So many questions are being left unsaid between us. Do you love me? Am I more to you than Jentsie and Alex and everybody else? Is this going to last between us? ... am I just another toy?

Tommy wipes my tears away and hugs me, pulling me tight against his bare chest. My face heats up but I ignore the embarrassment as best as I can. He kisses my head, helping me with my shirt. Tommy understands. Tommy knows how I get. He knows I'm not ready. Tommy won't do anything.

"James, hey, are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?" Thomas whispers as he lets go of me. I wipe the rest of my tears away and clear my throat, ready to let all of the questions flow out.

But, all I manage is a whimper, a sob, and something that isn't even proper english. Even I don't really know what I said. Thomas stares for a second before shaking his head.

"We can talk about it tomorrow, okay babe?" He whispers as he kisses my head and stands up. He's leaving.

I ruined our day just like I ruin everything else between us. No wonder he prefers everybody that isn't me. I'm just... I'm just a crybaby to him. I can't even have sex without crying!

He's probably gonna dump me right now once and for all all because I can't give him a good time... If I could just...

Oh I can not believe I am actually thinking of doing this right now.

I take my shirt off once again and pull Thomas back onto the couch, our faces just centimeters apart. "Jefferson, you're not leaving until you've fucked me. Hard." I snap, pulling his hair.

His face goes red for a moment before the terribly familiar smirk appears on his face. Jefferson pins me down and growls, "Well, I hope you like it rough then, baby~"

He leaned down to my ear and whispered, "I'm not letting up until the neighbors permanently know what my name is~"

Hey here's a pathetic excuse for an update please stop commenting for me to update I am fragile and have anxiety and I'm extra depressed recently woohoo so like yeah this is probably gonna end up extending to a second book not now but it will ha ha anyway thanks for reading this far into my garbage okey ima go bye oh btw I'm writing a song based on the book wooh bye