Too Many Secrets To Hide | ✔| #Wattys2017

Chapter Eight

Word Count: 3411
 
   I wrapped my arms around Jasper, I was just so happy we did something for my little sister. Or, possibly did something. "Thank you," I whispered into his still bare chest. He returned my embrace. Just then, I heard my ringtone. I was instantly disheartened. There was only one person in my phone that had that ringtone- my mother. I told Jasper who immediately instructed me not answer it. I sighed heavily. "What do I do?" I asked, not even bothering to hit decline on the call. If I couldn't answer it, then I saw no reason why I couldn't stay here with my face laying on his chest trying to listen to his heartbeat over the sound of my phone ringing. "There's nothing you can do," he replied.
  
   Several moments after the call ended, I finally found the will to go look at my phone. "Four missed calls," I said aloud when I saw the notifications. I was a little surprised they were all from mom and dad hadn't tried to call once. She had most likely tried to call me while I showered and while I slept. I knew she would be panicking, but what was I supposed to tell her if I answered the phone? Bel got mysteriously kidnapped by some evil werewolf and I'm now at Jasper's house, who also happens to be a werewolf. Oh yeah, and I'm his 'mate'.
  
   "I'm sorry," Jasper said. I shrugged. I mean, what else was there for me to do. It was just as he said, nothing. I sat back down on the bed. He sat down next to me, making the mattress dip and I had to fight to not fall against him. "I wish there was a way I could have avoided this." he told me with remorseful. I knew that was a void thing to say, so I decided to try and satiate my curiosity. I had many questions about werewolves and this whole mate thing, so I decided to try and focus my mind on those. "What are the other things females feel when they find their mates?" I queried. He gave a naughty looking smirk. "Well besides being incredibly horny," he said, "heavy possessiveness is about the only only other thing for the females." I hated that I had felt that possessive.
  
   "Does being someone's mate guarantee you'll fall in love with them," was my next question, because I didn't feel very in love. "Yes," he told me confidently. Then he leaned down towards me until our noses touched. "But sometimes it takes longer than usual," he whispered. "I was just wondering," I went on as if he wasn't so close to me, "because when humans fall in love, you feel flighty and get butterflies in your stomach." He straightened himself now, thinking. "Werewolves don't feel that," he informed me. "But shouldn't I, since I'm human?" I asked. Jasper didn't answer as he stood up from the bed.
  
   He turned away to mask his pained expression before he spoke again. "Mom says you can stay in the guest room, if you want," he made a drastic change of subject. "But I'll be up all night anyway so I thought it might be better to just let you stay in here." To answer the question he hadn't asked, I pulled the blanket over my shoulders and smiled ever so slightly. I had grown to like this bed, and I wasn't exactly excited to leave it and go to a different one- although it was most likely just as nice as this one. "I thought you might say that," he said gently as his pained expression changed to match the tiny smile I donned.
  
   Then came a knock on the door. It turned out to be Jasper's mother who didn't quite like what I was wearing. "I gave Jasper some clothes for you," she told me. I didn't want to tell her they didn't fit, but I didn't have to worry about it because with a devious smirk, Jasper spoke for me. "Oh," she tilted her head to one side with a furrowed brow, a pitiful expression, feeling bad I suppose. "I'll wash your clothes tonight so you can have them in the morning. Would you like me to show you to your room?" she asked, and I didn't want to answer that either. Once again, however, Jasper did in my stead. "She's going to stay here since I won't be," he informed his mother. She gave him a look that might have been a glare, but I wasn't sure as she promptly left.
  
   Jasper sauntered back over to the bed once she had closed the door behind her. "You know, I was going to wait to tell you for a little while," he said. I instantly knew he meant telling me I was his mate. "I knew your weren't exactly head over heels like most girls are with me, so I wanted to make you fall in love first since you're human." It started out arrogantly, but I didn't fail to notice the flicker of pain in his eyes when he pointed out that I wasn't all that into him. It hurt me a little bit too.
  
   "So you were trying to buy me," I countered with a grin. He sighed in mock irritation. "I was trying to be nice." he sneered through a smirk he couldn't hold back. I flicked my eye brows like I didn't believe him and stood up so that my back would face him. I almost hated acting so playful with him, but I somehow really enjoyed it.
  
   "But if you must know..." his nearly whispering voice was in my ear. I couldn't tell how he got to me so quickly, so quietly. "I didn't think buying you shoes would hurt my chances." I turned around to smack at him, but I couldn't make my hands move when I saw how close he was. There was something about the way he loomed over me. Something about how much bigger than me he was. He stood at at least 6'5, still growing, I'm sure. His frame easily dwarfed mine, as if his shirt I was wearing that draped halfway down my thighs hadn't stated that clearly enough.
  
   I couldn't help my eyes from falling down his face and onto his chest. I saw his bicep twitch, his hand move and I followed it as far as I could, but it ended up on my cheek. His touch was warm, almost hot and slathered in something that made me want more. His hands were laced with something addictive. It didn't have a smell, or a taste, it was just impossible to resist. Digging my nails into my palms, I would attempt the impossible.
  
   The gesture of putting his hand on my cheek demanded I meet his eyes again as his other hand brushed my jawline on the other side of my face. I couldn't turn away as his powerful blue eyes kidnapped my soul. They didn't ask for my will to comply, they simply made sure that it wanted to. Or otherwise, had no choice against his captivation. It was a spell I was under that was somehow breaking my will by betraying me with my own heart.
  
   Looking into Jasper's eyes, I knew what was coming and I made absolutely no effort to stop it. Even if I could have, I don't think I would have. He bent his head down even further to level with my face, his breathing made me think I was as addictive to him as he was to me. Then he brushed his thumb over my lips, paralyzing me, before covering them with his own. Like watching in slow motion until my eyes were forced closed by intoxicating sweetness, then falling victim to oblivion in a wave of emotions I never knew about before. I don't know how my body went into shock when I knew he was going to do it. My mind and my body were not even close to being on the same page. My body was curious, surprised by this new action, but my mind had known all along and was yelling to stop, but not even my heart could hear the screams.
  
   I found after a few moments, that my body had convinced my mind to let me go. I kissed him back, raising my no longer clenched hands to his chest and pushing up to his broad shoulders. The skin there begged to be touched, never let go of. It must have been similar to what my lips were communicating right at this moment. My hands were just finding a stationary place by his neck when he started pulling away slowly.
   I finally opened my eyes, my hands still on his bare skin. His were on mine as well. I loved the way his hands cocooned my face, how warm they were. Then he slid them down, one to my neck and the other on my shoulder. "First kiss?" he asked, grinning like he had caught an animal in a trap. I took a sheepish half step back, my hands were at my sides now and he finally removed his. I nodded, wondering what an awful kisser I was. "I was just wondering," he said, brushing my cheek with the back of his knuckles so that I would look at him. "Because I knew you've been single since second grade, but I was finding it a little hard to believe someone could kiss that well who had probably never done it before."
  
   It took me a minute to remember when I had mentioning I had been single that long. How could he listen so well he remembered things even I forgot about? And... I was a good kisser?  His words were soft and gentle as he dropped his hand again. It left me begging for more of his touch. I think he knew it too, I could tell by the look on his face when he stalked away from me. Was he teasing me?
  
   I thought of the way it had felt when his lips met mine, I wanted to ask if that was what it felt like for werewolves. It was a sensation I had never felt before, but then I had never been kissed before so I couldn't tell. Suddenly he stormed back to me, an emotion flashing in his eyes and I didn't even have to ask. I knew already that that was what it felt like for werewolves. Concentrating on the hunger in his eyes, I let him push me into the wall. He had wanted more, just like I did, and he hadn't been strong enough to keep the tease up.
  
   He breathed hot into the crook of my neck. "I can't do this," he whispered with a burning exhale. "What?" I asked, my hands finding his chest like it was their only solace. "I can't take it," his voice was like a growl. He started kissing violently on my neck, attacking as he rummaged his hands over my ribs. At some point, he finished with my neck and started on my jaw, then onto my cheek. The trail his lips left across my skin was like the very blood in my veins was laughing maniacally. He made eye contact and I'm not sure if he meant to or not. Whatever was in my eyes must have shoved him back into the here and now. He pushed himself away from me, forcibly with his arms planted on the wall to each side of me. Even if we weren't touching anymore, I was still trapped between a rock and a hard place.
  
   "You've been wanting to do that since the day we met?" I said it like a question, but we both knew it was a fact. "Did I scare you?" he replied instead of answering me. "No," I said through a breath. I wasn't sure if it had or not. I thought my breath shook only because my heart pounded into my lungs even harder than he had slammed me into the wall. I didn't know why, but somehow the mention of fear made me insane. "You're lying," he growled. I didn't argue because he was right. He gentled his voice. "I'm sorry," he apologized, but I didn't want him too. "It's okay," I responded glancing down at his heaving chest.
  
   I tried to comfort him, but apparently my hands on his skin was more than he could handle. He stepped away from me, head down and turned to the side. When he looked back up, I saw more pain in his eyes than I thought could fit on the entire face of the earth. "I can't be that close to you," he whispered scarcely. "I'll hurt you." I didn't believe that. "Jasper..." I began, but I didn't know what to say. "You're just so fragile," he went on. I pulled back inches, brow furrowed. That offended me. I had been called a lot of things, but never fragile. That was one thing I was not, and I told him so, stepping towards him. As much as I didn't want to be this close to the reason my sister was missing, my pride was more important than what I wanted right now.
  
   In an instant, I was against the wall again, but only by the force of his closeness. He was almost pushed against me and he was in my face. "I could break you," he said, visibly trying to keep the growl out of his speaking voice. "What do you mean 'break me'?" I asked, because I wasn't sure if he meant emotionally or physically. "I mean absolutely lose control," he told me as he grew louder. But then with a hint of remorse, he calmed back down a little. "Forgetting that you're only human, forgetting how easy I could hurt you." His tone got softer with every word he breathed.
  
   I didn't actually believe he could hurt me that bad. It was just a kiss...that turned into an all out onslaught on my neck. Maybe he had a point about losing control. I turned away from him, as he had turned from me, only I couldn't back away. I didn't want him to touch me anyway. I wanted him to keep his distance, didn't I? I suddenly found myself imagining him saying "I love you". What got me was that, in my mind, he said it quietly when I wasn't around. Is that what this would come to? Quiet proclamations of love when no one else could hear, not even the recipient? Did I even care? Could I? Why should I, after all he had put my sister and I through? Through several moments of scattered thought, I made my decision: This is what it felt like for werewolves.
  
   "I've been hurt before," I mimicked his heavy tone. "Not the same way I could hurt you," he insisted. "Prove it." I knew I sounded like such an instigator. I really wasn't, I just know how to get what I want. But is this what I want? I couldn't count on all my fingers and toes how many times my mother had warned me about this kind of thing. It never mattered anyway, no one ever asked me out. But now, someone in front of me professing to be so mesmerized by me that he wouldn't be able to control himself if he got too close. He wouldn't get close enough for that to happen though, for fear of hurting me. But why would he be so afraid of hurting me if he didn't feel something for me- something more than the lust I was trying to convince myself was all was all we had?
  
   Jasper slammed his body into mine so hard I thought the wall would break. He dug his mouth into my neck, the bare flesh there. He was leaving hickies, I knew it undoubtedly. His hands were also now roaming a far greater area than just over my rib cage. They slid over my entire midsection and my hips, on down my thighs nearly to my knees. The experience was magnified to due to the fact that I was wearing only his t-shirt and sweats. I remembered how I didn't have on a bra, but it didn't matter much because he was pressed into me so snugly.
   I felt his hands find a position on either side of my hips perfectly opposite each other and for the first time stilling. His grip slowly tightened, locking me against the wall until the force of it left me to just assume it was the wolf in him because no man had that kind of causal strength. He kept on bathing my neck with his mouth until there was so much wetness there I was surprised I could tell it was his teeth I now felt. His mouth was opening over my neck. I felt like I was about to be bitten. He started to press his teeth into my skin, the pressure of them reaching the point of breaking the skin. I closed my eyes tight, waiting because I knew I couldn't stop him. But then, a miracle. His hands flinched over my hips and he stopped. He closed his mouth and drug his lips up my neck, over my jaw and to my own before he stood back and rose to his full height. His grip on my hips relaxed considerably.
  
   "I hardly even let myself go," Jasper whispered. He breathed somewhere between regular and heavily, while my breaths were in a full on asthma attack. He moved away from me, pacing towards the door. He opened it to step out, glancing back at me before he left and closed it behind him. There was no lust at all on him. Instead there was longing, the kind of longing that was not only for a body, but for a person too. It was clear that I was that person. It was only a shame that I was, in fact, all person.
  
   I laid down on the bed, feeling the pain come to me. I touched my neck and it was sore to the touch. It stung when I dried the slobber off it with the blanket. I was tempted to find a mirror and see just what damage had been done, but I decided I didn't want to know. Instead, I pulled the sheets over myself and pretended I was tired enough to sleep. The reality, however, was that my heart was still racing and I couldn't foresee any kind of slumber for at least another week.
  
   I stayed still on my back perched at the very edge of the bed. At least an hour had passed by now, although it felt like two. The room had become pretty much pitch black darkness with only just a shadow of moonlight gleaming in past the dark curtains over his window. I found myself growing weary again after a couple more hours passed. It was four in the morning and Jasper still wasn't back yet. I felt sorry for that, as if it was my fault. It actually was, I had all but begged him to kiss me. Now he felt bad for having been so rough.
  
   Just as I began drifting off, I heard a faint click through the deafening silence. It was the sound of the door knob twisting, I only opened my eyes slightly to see it. In walked the silhouette of somehow who I instantly recognized as Jasper. On his way towards the bed, he shifted into his wolf. He didn't know I was still awake. He jumped up onto the bed with incredibly low sound that would have never woke me if I was sleeping. Like a dog would, he circled around a few times before curling up on the foot of the bed.
   He kept distance between us, intentionally I was sure. It only made my heart sink more. I knew it was my fault. I should have listened to my mind when it was saying 'no'. My mistake was having let me heart take the lead. Something so delicate did not belong on the front lines, I would be sure to keep it away from there in the future.
   As it happened, Jasper's presence, or perhaps the sense of irrational safety I felt around him, was the final push I needed to doze off.