Too Many Secrets To Hide | ✔| #Wattys2017

Chapter Sixteen

Word Count: 3192

"Just focus on the wolf," Jasper said again. The meeting with his father was over and Jasper and I were standing off to the side of the camp. It was well shaded and not nearly as bright here as it was out in the open. We were in a somewhat secluded area. It was like a cove cut out in the forest. No one was paying us much attention. Jasper had agreed to try and teach me to shift. He said it wouldn't be difficult and it shouldn't take long, but I kept giggling. He was telling me to focus on the wolf inside me, that may or may not have been there, and I just thought it was funny.

"Once you learn how to do it, you'll be able to do it even when you're laughing, but for now you have to calm down." A playful smile tugged at his lips, but he was doing much better at being serious than me. I take a deep breath, willing myself to stop laughing. "Now the wolf," Jasper encouraged. I pictured a wolf in my mind, brown like my hair, because Jasper said that wolves were always the same color as the person's hair. He told me that was a very important thing, because without knowing what your wolf looked like, you couldn't picture it in your mind and be able to shift. I was ready to give up, frustrated and feeling like there was no wolf in me.

Then suddenly, the wolf I pictured stood out like I would have been able to see her if I opened my eyes. I felt like I had gone unconscious for the briefest moment. I realized in that time that I actually didn't exist anymore. Then all of a sudden, everything was warmer and I was looking up at Jasper from a different angle. I felt... Different, yet the same. Jasper looked at me with bright eyes, shining with pride and admiration. Everything around me sounded so much louder, I swing my head around wildly trying to understand it. I was involuntarily backing up, nearly tripping over the extra two feet placed so naturally on the ground below me.

I had expected to be excited when I looked down to see the body of a wolf instead of my human body. Instead, I was terrified. I danced around panicked, trying to use my head but it wasn't working. "Calm down, calm down!" Jasper directed stepping towards me. I pranced back, shaking my head at him. "It's okay, it's okay," he repeated. I was slowly coming back to my senses. I was a wolf, and that okay, I guess. Everything was okay, I had just transformed into a wolf, no big deal.

I jerked away when Jasper extended his hand to me. I realized I must have been behaving like a dog that had been beaten. Ever so slowly, I allowed Jasper to touch my head. It felt wonderful. I found myself immediately pressing my head into his hands while he petted me. I nuzzled my head into his stomach, felling his hands all over my head, neck and chest. He petted me like you would a dog, and I suddenly realized why they loved it so much.

I purred, or at least like a wolf would purr. I felt Jasper smile, the warmth of it comforting me. "So, how does it feel to be a wolf?" he asked with a mature kind of excitement on him. I opened my mouth to speak, before I realized I couldn't. I was annoyed and a little afraid at first. I couldn't use my mouth? What if I needed to scream because and I couldn't because I was a wolf? Then I mentally scoffed myself for my incompetence and grinned, or at least the wolf equivalent of a grin. I sucked in a huge breath and let out a howl that I'm certain reached the moon.
I took off running at an all out sprint. I felt my legs move in the same way dog's did when they ran, my strong shoulders propelling me forward. I felt so alive, moving faster than I ever had before by my own feet. I didn't even notice the entire camp stop and stare until I was halfway across the place. Right now though, I honestly didn't care what they thought or how much they stared. That's right, I'm a wolf. Stare, give me that limelight, my little wolf likes it.

I was still running when I suddenly felt myself skidding to a halt. It was almost involuntary, but there was a curiosity and wonder behind my actions. I turned around to see a huge amber brown wolf charging at me full speed. It took me a second, but I ran towards it when I realized it was Jasper. Somehow, when I saw his wolf through my wolf, he looked less like just a wolf and more like a particular wolf. Like how you can identify someone in a crowd even from the back, that's how I saw Jasper now. Whereas before, any amber-brown werewolf I saw may or may not have looked like him.

I soon found myself racing as fast as I could towards him. I couldn't help it, I felt drawn. I wanted him all over me. We slammed into each other playfully when we met in the middle. We crashed to the ground before scrambling back to our feet and mock-attacked each other again. It was exhilarating and barely hurt, my wolf had a pretty high tolerance for pain.

The playful sparring turned into licking all over- from both of us. What could I say? I couldn't help my behavior as I just kept pressing into him. I pulled back faster than I could register my own movements when a realization hit me. That mate bond he had talked about and how as a human I couldn't feel it- well evidently that was only when I was in human form. Now, as a wolf, Jasper was the only thing I wanted and I couldn't even think straight. I needed to get back to my human before I did something I would regret.
I thought violently of how to get back to my human form as I also realized I didn't know how. I pleaded to Jasper with my eyes, who looked very hurt that I had pulled away like that. How do I go back to being human? I thought frantically, looking into his eyes while I whined. It killed me that I couldn't talk because I was horrible at charades. Focus on your human, a cool voice whispered silently. I cocked my head to the side. Did I just read Jasper's mind? This confused me and temporarily distracted me from the problem at hand. Yes, his voice came again.
I took a confused step back, head still twisted over to the side as I stared at him. As wolves, we can communicate telepathically, Jasper explained. I nodded, not exactly understanding, but knowing enough to focus on my current situation. I pictured my human self in my mind, but nothing happened. I started to panic. Why isn't it working? I mind linked Jasper.
You're picturing yourself wrong, he said calmly. With that, he shifted back to his human. "You're picturing yourself the way you see you. You have to do it the way others see you- the way you really are," he said out loud. I thought about it for a moment. I briefly wondered if he could hear my thoughts even when I didn't direct them at him or when he wasn't a wolf.

How could I see myself through someone else's eyes? That was something I had always wished I could do, but of course, I couldn't. Because it was impossible. I better not be stuck like this forever. I curled my lips back and snarled until I swear I saw his heart stop. My own blood ran cold as I stalked slowly towards Jasper. He matched every forward step of mine with a receding one of his own. It made me feel stronger than him, and right now I actually was. He tried to reason with me, but I blocked him with the sound of my growl getting louder.
Before he could do anything stupid, I made my move. The only thing I did to show I was getting ready to pounce was moving down a couple millimeters to prepare for my jump. He didn't have time to react before I had him on the ground, my drool dripping in face as I snarled against his nose. "Cadence, get off," he growled back, he didn't show fear but I knew he was scared, I just knew it. How dare you get me stuck like this! I screamed mentally, just in case he could still hear me. I didn't get to find out if he could or not before an incredible force shoved me down. You'll stay off the alpha's son! An angry voice said to me while I rolled over and stood to face him. This wolf was mostly black and bigger than me. I could take him. And you'll stay off his mate! I sneered back at him. I tackled him to the ground. His eyes widened in fear, clearly realizing the horrible crime he had committed against his future Luna. I pressed my paw into his neck and listened satisfied while the intruder yelped. I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were his mate! Please forgive me, please don't kill me! He pleaded. Pathetic, I spat.

Cadence, came Jasper from behind me. I snapped my head back to snarl at him without getting off the other wolf. I wasn't bigger and stronger than Jasper anymore. I wanted to pout because of it, but I refrained as I continued glaring and growling. I turned back to the sad excuse for a wolf under my paws. I slashed his chest swiftly with my sharp claws. Do not disrespect me again, I growled as I sent him yelping on his way.
Then I swung back to Jasper. How dare you do that to me? I snarled. What the hell does 'see yourself through someone else's eyes even mean? Why didn't you tell me about that before you taught me how to shift? I faced off with Jasper, feeling like I could fight a war by myself even though I knew Jasper would never fight me.

Because I knew that by doing this it would force you to see yourself the way I see you, he stated calmly. And how to do see me? I hissed. He moved his eyes to the side and then back to me, as if to sigh unhappily. I'm going to change back to my human to show you something. If I do, are going to attack me? He asked. I didn't answer because there was no way I was going to promise not to attack that manipulative asshole.

Luckily, he didn't force me to reply before he shifted back. I knew he wouldn't. He immediately pulled out his phone and started showing me pictures of myself. I was mainly outraged because most of them were candid, and a little embarrassed because I was not in the least photogenic. He stopped on one that was a full body portrait of me in my volleyball uniform. Laying his phone on the ground, he shifted back to his wolf. Tell me what you see, he spoke gently. Because he had shifted to say that, I assumed we could only communite if we were either both wolves, or both human. I wasn't sure if that was because I was part human or not though.
Me, I answered, irritated. Tell me about you then, he replied, never sounding the least bit annoyed. I rolled my eyes. I'm in my uniform, I replied, still being snarky and vague. How do you look in it? he asked. I studied myself. My thighs look fat in the spandex, they're not cute and little like most girl's. The spandex makes my butt look weird too. That jersey hugs too tight and it brings out my muffin top and if I turned a little you could probably see my love handles too. I'm not sure if it's my stomach or my boobs that makes it seem like this, but I actually look kind of overweight in that picture. Maybe I should go on a diet. I answer honestly. I wasn't insecure, I just didn't have the most incredible body.

What about your face? Jasper asked, not commenting on what I had just said. Well I've got that huge zit, I replied. And I'm super red and sweaty. It's making my hair pull and fall and look bad against my face. I answer, once again with complete honesty. Truthfully though, I didn't believe I looked that bad. I'm pretty sure I'm just not photogenic.

Wanna know what I see? Jasper said. I rolled my eyes, sure. He stepped closer to me until he was an intimate distance away- and by that I mean hardly any distance at all. I see the most beautiful girl in the world, he cooed. I love the way those shorts bring out her ass, and what's an ass without thighs to match? That just looks ridiculous. And yes babe, that's your boobs because firstly, I see no muffin top; and secondly, you do not look overweight at all. You look sexy and damn good too. Maybe you're not skinny like other girls, but I'd take those curves over skinny any day.

Suddenly I wasn't upset with him anymore. I hung my head, a little bit shamefully. And I didn't even see the zit until you pointed it out, he finished, and I swear he was smiling.

I looked back at the picture. I tried to oversee every negative thing I saw and replace it with Jasper's take. I took a mental snapshot of the picture and closed my eyes. I began morphing everything into Jasper's point of view until I was looking at a very sexy girl with my face and a zit you couldn't see unless you were looking for it. When I opened my eyes, I was looking down at a big amber brown wolf from my position on two legs.

I opened my mouth to gasp, but held back any air intake so as not to seem stupid. I just stared down at my human body while Jasper shifted into his own. "That's why werewolves are all so arrogant," He whispered in my ear, standing over me like the giant he is. I slipped my arms around his torso, leaning my face into his chest. He matched my embrace and I felt like I was covered and protected from everything in the world. I shrunk down into his arms like that, not caring if anyone stared.

"You're beautiful, baby, and you're my princess," he said just above a whisper with feather light kisses against my hair. "I love you," I whispered back. Even though I was just talking into his shirt, I knew he had heard me. I shut my eyes, shut out everything but him. Why did he have to be so perfect?

I listened to the sound of Jasper's heart beat, and let it consume me for just a minute before we had to go. It was almost ten o'clock, and he had to get ready. So did I, of course, as Christopher had agreed to let me go. Jasper just didn't know it yet. I had actually used him, because the one condition Christopher had given me was that I could shift before I went. It was a reasonable condition, I thought.

"I guess you have to go and get ready," I mumbled into his chest. He rubbed my back comfortingly. "Yeah," he said to follow a huge sigh. "Come with me, babe." He kept one arm around me as we walked towards the gym. I opted to keep both of mine around him, because there was too much sweetness to hog all for one side of me. We entered the gym and it didn't take long for Jasper to disappear.

I walked unnoticed by him to his father's office, where he and Mark now were. I knocked with tentative excitement. It was Mark who opened the door. He raised an eyebrow to ask if I had learned to shift yet. I nodded gleefully. He gestured for me to come into the room. I strode in, Christopher sat behind his desk. He wore an expectant smile, but he wasn't quite as enthusiastic as Mark and I. I took a deep breath and shook myself lose. I closed my eyes to picture my wolf, but I was almost too thrilled to think. I took one more calming breath, I made myself to feel tranquil as I shifted.

I looked back at the men in the room. I hung my tongue out and jumped around a little bit. They both smiled and laughed along with me- although I couldn't actually smile or laugh. I felt like I was though. "Alright, calm down," said Christopher with a chuckle. I stood still and at attention. "I will leave at ten, sharp. I want you in the band with the strongest wolves, to make sure you're protected. That will be the first band with myself, Mark and Jasper. Since he has only been around you're wolf for a few minutes, he shouldn't be able to recognize you're sent." I nodded my head eagerly and changed back.

So evidently, I smelled differently as a wolf compared to as a human. I guess that would explain why Jasper didn't sense something was up when he met my dad. Obviously, he knew what Derek the wolf smelled like if he could smell him on Bel's shirt. That left me to wonder just why his sent was on his shirt? Clearly He had no reservations about showing his daughters his true human self, so why had he taken her as a wolf? He could have easily sent one of his goons to do it. Of course, I still had no idea how he had managed to make her vanish right out of the changing room without leaving behind so much as her scent. It was actually just a bit strange how he had left the shirt for us, when he could have easily taken it too so that she really would have disappeared without a trace.

I realized now that it was just like Jasper had said, he had been baiting us. It was incredibly dangerous and risky of me to have come after her. I was glad I did, but I could have easily ended up a prisoner too. In fact, if it weren't for Bel punching dad in the face at the moment she did, I probably would be locked up right now. I still didn't fully understand why dad- or Derek because I wasn't keen on referring to that man as my father anymore- had done things the way he had though. I would have to ask him all my burning questions over his dying breaths.