Too Many Secrets To Hide | ✔| #Wattys2017

Chapter Twelve

 Word Count: 3458

  I did a wonderful job of concealing my pained thoughts if Bel was any mirror for me. She giggled flawlessly at Maddox's jokes as if the very thought of him didn't bring fear to her mind. Fear of rejection by her mate, the boy she had grown rather attached too. When our silent agreement to keep quiet about our family secret didn't feel strong enough, we had sworn it to one another out loud. I mean, everyone has things they don't want anyone to know about. I'm sure Jasper and Maddox both do too, because everyone has a part of their past they only want to cover up. How wrong was it for she and I to keep this only between us?
  
   Of course, it wouldn't be easy to keep hidden our bloodlines from our mates- but it was better than not having mates. I could just see Jasper's face if I told him that Derek is my father. 'So you are part wolf' I could hear him say. I could watch in my minds eye as he pushed me away, rejected me. After all, why wouldn't he? Why would he not hate the family of the man who threatened him and his own? It was understandable, although Bel and I had nothing to do with our father's ridiculous notions. All we knew was that he had had an accident at work a year ago, and that was why he had been so battered and bruised. But I could feel Jasper's sense of betrayal. I could hear him thinking to himself how that Bel and I were working with our father. It certainly didn't seem so far fetched, especially considering Bel had only sustained a wrist injury- and for all anyone knew, it was staged just for effect. That was why the truth we had only recently uncovered would stay a secret, because it was all too possible that our mates would not understand, as they could not be expected to.
  
   "Bye guys!" Bel waved happily to me and Jasper as she an Maddox left the car. Jasper was driving us all to our respective schools. We had decided we better go back now before anyone got suspicious, as no missing person reports had been filled out for either Bel or myself- curiously enough. It had been sarcastically established the only reason any of us went was because today would be our last of practice before our first games. It was pretty much a rule that if you didn't practice, you didn't play, and we had all already missed one this week.
  
   As Jasper drove away, the new found silence seemed to wash right into the leather interior of his mustang. Without our siblings back there chattering, it was almost awkward. Jasper soon decided he had had enough of that. "I wanted to tell you again how pissed I am you took off after her like that," he began. I opened my mouth to protest, but his next words cut me off short as he took his eyes off the road to look at me. "But how proud and impressed I am at your bravery." I beamed at the compliment, all thoughts of protest dissolving beneath his praise. "But don't do it again," he shot. I didn't care, I was still feeling too proud for having been so courageous.
  
   The mood quickly faded and I longed to tell Jasper the secrets burning in my mind. I had to refrain though, because if I told him, he would hate me. I struggled internally and it must have been visible outwardly as well. "What's wrong, princess?" he asked concerned. There was, however, just a hint of nervousness when he got to the word 'princess' as if he wasn't sure if he should call me that or not.
  
   "Princess?" I questioned, glad for the change of subject I knew he wouldn't notice, consumed in his worry. "Yeah, you can be my princess," he stated with not so much confidence as he was trying to portray. "I mean, if you don't like princess, I could call you something different- or if you don't like names I don't have to call you any at all..." I smiled at how adorable he was being. "I like names," I told him softly. His whole face lit up.
  
   "Do you like names?" I asked. It seemed no one ever cared if the boys did or not. "Well, it doesn't really matter to me..." he answered. I took that to mean 'yes, I think little names are cute, but I want to be manly so I won't admit it'. "Okay darling," I replied casually. Then, after a moment of him only responding with a smile, I had something else to say. "And sweetheart?" I said lightly. "Yes beautiful?" he instantly retorted, keeping up with the game. "We aren't actually official yet..." I left for him to hopefully pick up on where I was going.
  
   "We can be official if you want, princess," he told me softly. "I would like that," I said with a shy kind of smile and brushing my hair behind my ear as if I had a nervous habit. "Then I guess we're official," he stated with a smile that made me blush. I wiggled in my seat, not knowing what to say. Jasper did though. "Now that we're official, we're gonna have to make some changes," he spoke slyly, though I didn't quite understand. "I'm gonna have to start holding your hand and kissing you in public, walking you to all your classes. Skipping practice just to get an extra couple hours with you."
  
   I was smiling until the last part, and I hated that my uncertainty had to kill the vibe. "I don't think spending time with me is gonna be an issue..." I said meekly. "Why not?" he queried, very concerned. "Well..." It was hard for me to speak. "Where are we gonna go?" I asked. "We can't just go home and tell our parents Bel got kidnapped by werewolves and we stayed at your house for a couple days," I pointed out. Of course, in reality, we couldn't go home period.
  
   "I know, I know. I've thought about that," he replied. "I honestly don't know what we're gonna tell your parents." What parents I sneered mentally. "But you two can stay at our house until we get it all figured out," Jasper tried to comfort me. I nodded weakly, trying to hold back the tears that wanted so desperately for this boy to see them.
  
   "Are you alright?" he asked while he parked the car outside the high school. My efforts to hide my pain were not enough, evidently. "I'm fine," I quickly stated, wiping tears off of me. I tried to get out and get away from him before I broke down, but he wasn't going to let that happen. He grabbed my arm. "If a woman says she's fine, she's never really fine," he murmured half to himself as he carefully, slowly pulled me into his lap. I sat with my feet dangling into the passenger seat and my back to the driver door while I realized it was no secret that I was crying.
  
   "I just want this all to go away!" I whined as I buried my face into his chest. His arms came around me like a shell to hide me from reality. "I can't even go home," but I didn't tell him exactly why. "I just want all this to be over. Da-Derek is gonna come after us again. What if Bel gets hurt?" I turned my pitiful expression into his view now. "I couldn't live with myself." I dipped my head low into his embrace once more. He rubbed my back and kept me shut off from the world while I rambled some more. I found it was hard to vent when you couldn't even say the reason you were venting.
  
   "I'm so sorry," he whispered when I finally stopped whining. "I never should have brought you into this." I knew he felt bad, and it made me feel bad for making him feel bad. It didn't matter how sorry he was though or how much I wanted him to not be upset, it didn't bring my mother back. But on the other side of that coin, I knew what dad was now and I could keep Bel away from him. I would never be able to thank Jasper enough for that, although it was something he hadn't intended for me to find out- something that he didn't even know.
  
   And, no matter how cold my heart could be, there was something in his smile, even more in his touch, that would forever warm my soul. "No Jasper," I said sternly, sitting up a little straighter, tears melting into a puddle of confidence pooling all around me. "Don't be sorry, because you were right. I am happy all of this happened."
  
   He stared at me stunned, as if he was watching the whole world collapse in the shadow of my eyes. His stillness begged the silence to speak, his soul wondering if what I said was true. "I'm glad to have met you Jasper," I say looking up at him from my position still on his legs. "No regrets. I wouldn't do it differently if I had a choice. I know that I said I only wanted things the way they were before, but I take it back. Because the way they were before didn't include you."
  
   His gaze still intently fixed on mine, I felt his hands move. One came to cradle my face while the other pushed up under my rib cage, bringing me closer to him. Craning his neck down hungrily, he captured my lips and desires with his own. I felt the need and the calm euphoria this moment was drenched in, as his tongue wound around mine, no sign of stopping.
  
   Every movement he made was another emotion for me to decipher. At first, he was immensely happy I had said those things. Then, he wanted proof. After that, he was just so desperate for more, he was honestly just like a starving animal. I had once watched a stray, abused dog bust it's own nose on our porch while trying to lick up spilled kibble. Jasper right now was that stray, abused dog.
  
   I realized once as he groaned into my mouth how horrified he had been to find me gone, I felt a re-creation of the fear settle on me for an instant. He had taken risks to get me back. Now that he had me, safe in his arms, he would go so far as the detriment of himself just to keep it that way. If it took all day, he was going to eat my every emotion, and I was going to love him for it.
  
   I kissed him back, it sent him the signal to kiss harder. His lips became much more powerful, faster and more insane. I felt his hands gripping my sides so tightly I whimpered. Without warning, he slung me into the back seat, him on top of me and hardly breaking the fervent kiss before he resumed it. My legs went up and almost around his waist to accommodate for the width of the tiny seat as he straddled me on his knees.
  
   As I now laid completely at his command, his hands roamed over my entire body. He pushed down the thin flannel over shirt I wore to leave me only in a tank top. He drug his wet lips down the side of my face, keeping no time to himself as he gently explored every inch of it. When he was fully aware of where every single dimple and blemish was, he found a new prey. He slid his hand under the back of my neck as I arched my back and exposed my throat for him to devour. He took the invitation as if he hadn't needed it in the first place.
  
   He sucked and nipped in every nook on my neck, somehow each spot he picked being more erotic and tender than the last. My whole body began to ache with an unfamiliar need. If his hands were any indicator, he had every intention of helping me satiate it. He trailed the kisses down from my the center of my neck to the divot between by collar bones. Moving down, he caressed every inch of my skin uncovered by the tank top I wore.
  
   When he finally got to the fabric of my shirt, he growled a little and moved back up to my shoulders. This time, fabric would not deter him. He slid the strap of my tank top and bra down my arms as he continued pecking at the flesh there. Now with that skin uncovered, he had a somewhat viable path down farther than he had dared place his lips before. He licked and kissed with a kind of rocking motion as he worked his way down my body towards my breasts. I noticed him tug at the hem of my shirt, pulling it down while he finally got a piece of the sensitive flesh into his mouth.
  
   I grabbed handfuls of his amber brown hair between the fingers on both my hands while I let out a quiet moan. He went farther and pressed harder with his mouth as if to say 'louder!' I complied and it seemed to please him. He didn't stop there, though. His lips curled against my skin in a smile while he traveled his hands places they had never ventured before. While one perched precariously on the edge of the seat to hold himself up, the other was behaving mischievously. I couldn't help but pull my legs together when it tried to grab between the middle of my thighs. I gasped just a little and his smile got wider.
  
   Jasper removed his hand and pulled my shirt down even farther to reveal my bra. He buried his face in my skin that he hadn't assaulted yet. After a few minutes of that, he switched sides of my shirt. Pushing it up as far as he could, he began his torture underneath my bra. He was working his way down so slowly it made me cry out in painful desperation. It was a cry he savagely ignored.
  
   Now able to keep himself balanced without use of his hands, he placed them both on my still clenched thighs. Despite his weight on top of them and my natural reflex, he started prying them apart. It wasn't that I didn't want him to, I was just too timid to be very willing. Once he got them far enough, he quickly shifted one of my legs to hang over the seat while he placed his own leg on the inside of it. He playfully teased the inside of my thighs, only bending down to kiss my stomach on occasion as my legs were his new interest. It made me absolutely crazy that my thighs were as far as he went, yet I was terrified of the thought him going any further.
   All of a sudden, he ripped his shirt off over his head and dove down on top of my body. He grabbed at me relentlessly while his mouth attacked every inch of my stomach that hadn't felt him so rough yet. One of his hands finally began to caress that most sensitive area on my body through my jeans while the other pulled my leg up over his shoulder. He was kissing at the skin just above my waistband now with absolutely no mercy whatsoever. His fingers left where they were to start working the button on my pants. By the time I had a chance to gasp, he was already pulling down the zipper.
  
   "Jasper!" I tried to yell, but finding I could hardly breath at all. He stopped messing with my now fully lowered zipper when he heard his name, but he did not stop touching me. His index finger traced around my underwear while he tickled his tongue around and sometimes under the waist band. It was as if his entire being, his entire life existed over that one little part of me. He hunched over, every bit of his large frame somehow finding an intimate amount of space from that sensitive and protected part of me. I felt glorified, worshiped, loved, wanted. Lust was there too, but the way he touched me was for my pleasure more than his own, I knew.
  
   His hands grazed over my womanhood, causing my entire body to go into a fit of tremors like I was laying helpless on a fault line. When was the earthquake going to come? He lips brushed gently at the same area, just hard enough to make me groan louder than I had before. I wish I had had the control to restrain it, because the sounds I made when he touched me only excited him and made him want to do more.
  
   I watched him gape his mouth open above that secret part of me before I had to step in. "Jasper..." his name came out as a moan because I had hesitated and ended up saying it at the same time he had closed his mouth around my underwear, digging his face down to try and get under my jeans. "Mhmm?" he responded, though he surely assumed I was just consumed by pleasure. The only thing that saved me was the fabric between my skin and his hungry mouth. I had a feeling it wouldn't last much longer though.
  
   "Jasper, please," I begged, partially regaining my wits and hoping my voice had been just strong enough for him to get the message. He looked up at me with wondering eyes. They seemed to say, 'yes darling? Why have you stopped me from exploring your body?'. "I can't..." I breathed, and in fact I couldn't even finish the sentence. He drug himself back up to level with my face. He had on a smirk with a hint of curiosity and a sense of impending modesty. He didn't like that idea, but he tried to cover it with the fiendish gleam in his impossible, hungry eyes.
  
   "You can't what?" he asked almost innocently with a hot breath into the crook of my neck. "I need you to stop," I whimpered back. I don't think I had ever spoken in a way more pathetic than that, and certainly the sane half of me would have been so pride hurt she cried. "Can't you handle me?" he queried with just the same demeanor as he had donned moments ago. "I can't- I'm just- scared," I choked out. It was true, I was absolutely terrified.
  
   One of his hands moved to cradle the nape of my neck while the other caressed my cheek with a barely there touch of the back of his knuckles. He sighed deeply, big blue eyes sincere. "Don't be scared, baby," he told me gently. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice abandoning me entirely now. "Shh," he cooed, bringing my quivering body to him. "I love you, baby girl." I wrapped my arms around his torso. "I love you too..." I breathed, just barely.
  
   My eyes closed and I felt his warmth cocoon me like every ounce of his body heat had been trained to do that and only that since the day of his birth. We both still lacked upper body clothes, with the exception of my still graciously remaining bra. It felt incredible the way his skin simmered against mine. He kissed my ear so gently I wanted to cry from the utter perfection and tenderness of it.
  
   How did he know exactly what to do? How did he know exactly what to say? How was it possible that every single thing he did was so absolutely perfect? I couldn't understand that as I let myself be held in the strongest arms I had ever known. Arms that had me terrified would leave me some day, just like the last pair of arms I had been held in, grown up crying into for every scrape on my knee. I held Jasper tighter.
  
   "Don't ever leave," I fought to get out of my uncooperative mouth. "Not while my heart still beats," he replied sounding stubborn and gentle at the same time. I pressed my ear into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was the most comforting sound in the world. I could fall asleep to it's rhythm. I could just bask forever in the protection and the safety in that one repetitive sound.