Morphed

Chapter Twenty Five Part Two

Dear Agony
Just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Don't bury me
Faceless enemy
I'm so sorry
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear Agony

Leave me alone
God let me go
I'm blue and cold
Black sky will burn
Love pull me down
Hate lift me up
Just turn around
There's nothing left

Somewhere far beyond this world
I feel nothing anymore

~Dear Agony (Breaking Benjamin)

The next week or so passed in a blur for Edward. It was like the entire world had gone dull, had lost all the joy and light it had ever contained. The once vibrant colours of the world around him had dimmed and gone foggy, like he was looking at it all through water. He barely heard people when they spoke to him, struggling to understand their words through the ringing in his ears that had not gone away. He responded only occasionally, saying words they wanted to hear through a voice hoarse from screaming.

Because nightmares worse than ever before plagued him, ravaging at him through dreams that weren't a far cry from reality. His sleep was broken almost constantly, and it was impossible to count how many times he'd wake up in one night, on the rare occasion that he was actually able to fall asleep at all.

Exhaustion weighed heavy on him, and his steps stumbled as he walked into the Church, clad in a black suit Mustang had had to hire for him. He payed no attention to where he sat, didn't really care. He just followed Mustang, walked where he walked, sat where he sat. Al sat beside him, he noticed vaguely, and he reached out a hand to grip his brother's shoulder and pull him closer. Al needed comfort, the one clear part of his mind told him.

The funeral began, but he couldn't listen.

Couldn't listen as a man who'd never met Maes began telling his life story, those he'd loved, lost, cherished and saved. His heart clenched when Gracia stood up on the small podium, to tell stories of how Maes had adored his family, her, his children. She told them all of how he'd jumped for joy and taken a thousand photos when Elicia was born, and how he'd continued to do so until it got to the point of annoying. She told them all of how he'd grown attached to Ed and Al, and how he'd adopted the youngest and had tried his damnedest to adopt Ed too. She told them all of how Maes had loved the boys like they were his own, and how they'd become his own in that too big heart of his.

Tears were flowing by the time she was finished speaking, and Ed didn't even try to stop them. He just pulled Al closer and did the only thing he knew how to do; look after his little brother.

Mustang stood at some point to tell tales of his friendship with Maes, and Ed's mind warred within him because he couldn't bring himself to listen, but also could not bring himself to ignore the stories of Maes' life, stories Ed had never known about, wished he'd asked about. Tales of who Maes was, before, during and after the war.

Mustang told them of how he'd been at breaking point, ready to just lay down and not get back up, and how Maes hold helped him push through and come back out on top. Ed lost the ability to breathe for a little while, because Maes had done the same for him, too.

At some point the storytelling ended, and Mustang, Havoc, Breda, Armstrong and one of Maes' men Ed had never met picked up the casket that contained Maes' body and took it away. The carried the damn thing from the church all the way to the cemetery, and when the funeral guests had gone and only family and friends remained, they lowered the casket into the ground, into the hole that had been dug specially for Maes. A green rug bearing the military crest had been thrown over the casket at some stage, and shots rang in his ears as Maes' mean fired the Three Volley Salute. At each shot Elicia flinched, and when the dirt was thrown back into the grave she began to scream.