Catboy

06: flashback

Julian hadn't intended to be in the high school stadium's crowd.

All around him was noise. Screaming fans, the yells of friends and proud family, the beat of feet against the metal floor. A cry from a baby. The sounds of outrage from the other team's supporters. It was doing Julian's head in. He could feel a migraine coming on.

It was worth it.

Lloyd was sprinting up the field, his brightly coloured hair streaming out behind him. There was ten seconds left on the clock. The two soccer teams were tied, in what was the biggest upset of the season.

The final game of the season, the one in which  the undefeated champions of the league were tied with Lloyd's team, one of the lowest of the low.

Ten.

Nine. Lloyd wove past a defender.

Eight. Ducked past a boy sprinting at him.

Seven. The crowd screamed.

Six. Lloyd swerved past another boy, dove to the side.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Lloyd scored.

The entire stadium went up into screams. Julian rose to his feet, his hands clapped to his mouth. He had no idea what he had just seen, other than the fact that it was incredible.

The rest of Lloyd's team piled onto the pitch, running towards him, drowning him under a mass of yelling and happy smiles.

The world was nothing but noise, nothing but clapping and screaming and fans hugging each other through their hysterics. Julian could barely breathe. Everything was electric.

The team scrambled off the field, all jumping in the air, clapping each other's backs. Julian started walking before he knew what he was doing.

He got stopped at the changing room's doors. "What do you think you're doing?" the coach asked, somewhat angrily. It seemed that even winning the finals hadn't calmed him down.

Winning the finals.

"I'm here to see my friend," Julian said, pointing past the doorway. "You can ask him if he knows me. Number 6."

"Lloyd?" The coach raised an eyebrow. "I don't think he's in much of a state to hang out right now."

"Whaddyou mean?" Julian didn't really worry. He knew that the coach would give him a stupid reason, like being tired, or having a few bruises here or there. Nothing serious.

As if on cue, one of the players stuck his head out through the door. "Oh, hey!" He pushed the doors wide open, glanced at the coach. "Lloyd's in the shower right now. You can come in if you want."

"Thanks, Andrew," Julian muttered, and pushed past the coach, somewhat rougher than he needed to be.

The locker room was full of steam and the smell of cheap deodorant, but Julian didn't mind. He'd grown up in changing rooms, in different cities, in gyms. He knew his way around, and he knew that the team was tired.

Despite their fatigue, they were all in good spirits, laughing and shouting at each other from across the room. Julian settled down onto a bench, but Andrew, who had disappeared for a minute, tugged at his shirt sleeve.

"Lloyd's over in by the shower cubicles if you want him," he said, smiling his usual cheerful smile.

"Want him? Of course I-" Julian stopped himself before he could finish the joke.

It wasn't that much of a joke after all.

"Yeah, I'll go see him," he forced out. "Thanks, Andrew." He smiled at the shorter boy, getting up and making his way towards the showers.

The cubicles and their surroundings were empty. Normally, Julian would have been able to hear Lloyd, but with his ears taped back and hidden underneath a cap it was near impossible. He glanced behind him, then knocked on the nearest cubicle door.

"Lloyd?"

"Hey," he heard, and spun around to see Lloyd standing there, his hair still wet. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Holy shit," Julian breathed, and then he was running, racing forward. He wrapped his arms around Lloyd, breathed in the scent of mint soap. "Holy shit," he repeated. He pulled back, his arms still resting on Lloyd's shoulders. "You-"

"Didn't do too badly, did I?" Lloyd laughed. "Who would've thought that would end my first year of being captain." He gave a small smile, and Julian was suddenly aware of how close their mouths were.

It would've been so easy.

"You, you did so well, and the crowd, they love you," Julian babbled, trying his best to stop the blush he knew was spreading across his face. It was no use. He could feel himself losing all control. "And you made history, dude, I'm fairly certain that's never happened, and-"

"Would you stop?" Lloyd asked, and Julian immediately stopped talking. "Sorry, it's just..." He gently pushed Julian's arms off his shoulders. "It wasn't all me."

"I know. I'm sorry," Julian replied, starting to regain some sense now that their faces weren't so close. "The others did amazing too."

"No, I meant..." Lloyd glanced down at the floor. "Thanks for being here tonight."

"Why wouldn't I be here?" Julian shook his head. "You're such an idiot."

And then Lloyd kissed him.

The world spun away, and Julian couldn't feel anything but shock, anything but Lloyd's lips against his. Without thinking about it, his hands slid upward, tangled in fistfuls of bright red hair. He could barely hear anything except the blood rushing to his head.

In hindsight, it was probably far less than perfect, or even good. But, at that moment, chapped lips and the taste of Gatorade were the best things in the world, and Julian had every intention of hanging on to it.

Every second only hurt, made his chest ache so deeply he didn't know what he felt. He was closer to Lloyd than he had ever been. He was scared, scared that it would end in being pushed away and forgotten.

Lloyd bit down on his lip. He forgot his own name.

Lloyd pulled away first, and Julian almost groaned from the loss. He managed to compose himself, even though he knew his face was bright red. Slowly, he unwound his fingers from Lloyd's hair.

"I'm sorry," Lloyd muttered. "I should go."

And, with that, he left, leaving Julian standing alone in a school locker room.

That was the first and last time they had ever kissed. That was it, as far as Julian was concerned. The next week, Lloyd started sleeping with Arin.

The next week, Julian kept his head down and pretended it didn't hurt.

And, for the next few months, it worked.