Catboy

16: lloyd

The trip home was longer than he had expected.

With Julian driving, and Lawrence in the front with more room to stretch out, Lloyd was stuffed in the back, next to a suitcase settled on the seat beside him. He sat in silence, watching the forest speed by. Vaguely, he thought about what the trees would look like in winter- would they be barren, void? Would the snow settle on them and break them, cracking their thin branches and sending them tumbling to the ground?

Of course. Of course it would happen. It was just a fact- winter came, and snow came with it. He wondered if he'd be around to see it. Would he be wrapped up next to Julian, sitting in front of the TV and watching the sky pour down white? Would he be staring out through a hospital window, his hands as pale and as cold as it was outside?

Would he even be alive?

Because, although he didn't want to think about it, he knew that he'd messed up by kissing Julian.

It wasn't the whole feelings thing, even though he'd never been very good at working those feelings out. Despite his somewhat confident attitude, he knew that, deep down, he would probably never work out exactly who he was. Despite himself, he knew that he might not ever wake up two nights in a row without crying over the stupid, stupid tree that had ruined his life.

He had woken up the night before, wrapped in Julian's arms, with silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He had lain there, shaking, until Julian had woken up. He had apologised, said a thousand sorrys for the bad timing, but Julian hadn't replied, only pulled him closer to his chest and fallen back asleep. Over time, the rhythm of his breathing had slowed, and he had calmed down enough to fall back asleep. He didn't know if Julian had remembered; he hadn't brought it up in the morning at the very least. Lloyd glanced at him now, using the reflection in the rear-view mirror to sneak a peek at his eyes. His brow was furrowed, concentrating on driving. Lloyd smiled. Always the serious one.

So it wasn't the whole feelings thing. It wasn't a mistake to kiss Julian- at least, not in that sense.

No, he was worried about something far more basic.

Julian was particularly well-adjusted to the cold. Something about his genetics made it easier for him to stay warm in close-to-freezing temperatures. It was both a blessing and a curse- he didn't mind staying out late in the colder months to train. At the same time, it made him more likely to take potentially stupid risks- and that was where Lloyd came in.

Despite the resistance to the cold, Julian wasn't resistant to the viruses that lived in it. Given that he hadn't had a single vaccine at any point in his life, and had never visited a doctor, he was even more at risk. Winter was flu season, and Lloyd knew that. If Julian got seriously ill, he wouldn't be around to take care of him.

But there were other, more selfish reasons for him to worry about Julian's health. It had been nice on the weekend, but it had been freezing cold for the past few weeks. If Julian had been going out dressed the way he usually did, he was exposing himself even more to the flu, which thrived on cold temperatures. And, as most viruses were, it could be transmitted by direct contact.

Which, by definition, including kissing Julian.

Lloyd didn't want to be afraid, but he couldn't help it. After all, it was literally a matter of life or death.

"Without proper hospital care, you have a high chance of future complications."

"If you do not spend time in isolation, you may suffer greater issues than ever before."

"A single illness puts your fatality rate up to seventy percent."

If you get sick, you'll die.