I'm having the time of my life! Not like in Dirty Dancing. This is way better than dancing with a girl named 'Baby'. Well, except if it's North's Baby and dare I say, my little Marshmallow. Anywhooo, we just witnessed Dumbledore making professor McGonnagal fart repeatedly! She's talking to him right now and she keeps fanning her hand behind her butt and saying ' Oh! ' every two minutes. It smells like rotten eggs and it seems to stink for miles.
" Excuse me, gentlemen. I don't know what's happening. Maybe it's something I ate this morning. Oh, Mister Green... Has anyone ever tell you that your hair is as beautiful as a Centaur's mane? "
Oh yes! I forgot that the professor has been flirting with the Doc since our arrival. She flirts with Raven and Axel too. Not that they're flirting back.
" Oh, Doctor Green? Your face is wearing your name like a glove today. You look a little sick. " I tease. I guess he's afraid the professor will try to touch him again. Her farts will probably distract her enough, though. We need to move because lordy, the odors around here... Whew!
" Have you ever heard of Pepé le Pew? " asks Luke innocently, looking at McGonnagal. He did not go there... I don't think she knows that cartoon, though. Suddenly as we are near our common room's door, we hear thunder and it's so loud that it feels like the storm is inside the castle. It is. Kind of. It came from McGonnagal and Dumbledore is laughing near the kitchens. I think he's hoping that we can't hear him this far but we do.
" Happiness! " exclaims Luke. I can't stop laughing. Of course, he would be referring to this particular unicorn part. It's the butt if you don't remember from earlier. Or the 'tush' as recently heard from Mister Perfectly Groomed's mouth, also known as Owen Blackbourne, aka the man with a broom where it's tight!
" Thunder! " screams Larry, the shrunken head, looking panicked.
" I need my fucking thunder buddy! Where the hell is Gabriel when I need him? Find me my hot friend, somebody! Get me inside that fucking common room, vite! ( quick! ) "
I think this ugly head is still in love with Gabe, but do you know what's the funniest thing right now? Yes, McGonnagal is farting like she's going to tear apart her dress and her butthole, but she has absolutely no idea that Dumbledore drew little doodles all over her face with a sharpie last night when she was asleep. She has a mustache, a unibrow and little pink hearts on her cheeks. There's a phrase written with some type of fluorescent thing on the back of her dress that says:
Jingle Bells
Twilight Smells
Edward ran Away
Jacob Cries
Bella Dies
Potter all the Way
YOU ARE READING
Ghost Witch ( Ghost Bird and Scarab Beetle fanfiction )
FanfictionThe Blackbourne and Toma team are called for a very special mission by the Academy. They didn't think that Hogwarts and the wizarding world existed for real and that they would meet such a beautiful witch - inside and out - in the famous castle. Sa...