Exposure & Shutter Speeds

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I was - I mean am a photography prodigy. I picked up a camera when I was old enough to be trusted with one, and off I went. I quickly surpassed my fathers skills with a camera (much to his frustration). It caused tension between our once strong relationship that still hasn't been repaired. This wasn't for lack of trying on my part, but it's still something that troubles me. I mean, he was the first one to stir this passion, and now he's not here to talk about it, and to experience my achievements with. I'm still not sure how I feel about this, but that's a whole other story.

They say it takes one thing to ignite a passion that burns so hot it leaves scorch marks on your soul. Photographing people did that for me. There's something about capturing people how they are - and what they are like, underneath all of the walls and masks we try and hide behind.

I have a knack for asking the right questions to catch them off guard, and uncover what was really going on underneath the surface. I'm able to envision the shot, the posing, body language and facial expression, and then the questions I needed to ask to get to my end goal came effortlessly.

I tried all sorts of portraiture - family, newborn, maternity, headshots, corporate, event. But nothing made my heart sing more than capturing weddings.

I first realised I thrived under pressure when in high school I'd forgotten about an English assignment that was due that day, in favour of another that I had worked weeks on, that was also due that day. I submitted both, on time, scraping by with seconds to spare. The one I'd worked weeks on? B+. The assignment I'd pulled off last minute? A. So weddings seemed to be a natural fit for me.

After assisting with a few weddings, I branched out on my own. And this is where I excelled. My first couple of weddings I shot on my own where nothing to write home about, but I quickly improved and each and every wedding was another frog leap towards greater things. I kept my head down, and focused on making myself a better photographer, and people started noticing. I had started my business by the time I was 18 (2 years after my first DSLR) and had slowly been building a name. By the time I was 20, my business blew up. I was booking every available Friday, Saturday and even Sundays.

That's when things got hectic. I was handpicked by a B-list "celebrity" to capture their wedding - and the whole thing went off without a hitch. It cemented my reputation, and I was fully booked for as long as I could see. It still is one of my favourite events to date. Everything was simply perfect, and looked like it had come from the pages of a bridal magazine, but it still had enough personal touches to make it feel like a wedding, not a sterile styled shoot like most of the weddings after this one I continued to capture. I can close my eyes and still feel the flower petals brushing against my arm, the scent of them intoxicating as it filled every sense while I captured the aisle details. I can hear the swish of the brides skirt, making her appear like she was floating. And the love between the couple. You couldn't escape it. It drew you in, and surrounded you like a warm blanket on a cold morning. They where so in love. My heart felt light every time I looked at them, firstly knowing the images I captured where going to be flawless with minimal effort, and secondly, knowing that I had the same thing at home. Or, what I thought I had at home.

Life can be cruel. One moment you can't imagine anything being more perfect. I mean, you have your ups and downs, but those are just the minute details. The broader circumstances where what I focused on, and there was nothing I would have changed - if only I knew what was really going on underneath my nose in those last months leading up to that night...

I shuddered, and it brought me out of my reverie. My heart ached a little bit more, but I was thankful I wasn't coming out of a flash back. Good, I thought to myself. "I've succeeded in pushing them down again. Here's hoping I can lock them down and throw away the key this time" I muttered out loud.

"Did you say something to me?" Addie called out from the other side of the apartment.

"No! Talking to myself again!" I yelled back at her. I started digging through my pile of clean, unfolded clothes I never get around to folding to find my work uniform. I had exactly 2 hours until I had to be there, and I had some errands to run on the way.

Addie appeared at the doorway, "You cant possibly be going to work after this morning Bee!" She exclaimed.

I turned to face her. "Of course I am! It's only 4 hours, and besides, it was only a small fall. I'm not concussed, I'll be fine."

Addie glared at me. "I still don't think you should be going to work today. I'm sure your boss would understand. It's not like he doesn't know how much of a klutz you are."

"Ergh, and have to explain what happened this time? I've given that guy already enough ammunition to make fun of me for the rest of my life!" I exclaimed.

Addie grinned. "Well you just need to be more careful then, don't you?" She poked her tongue out at me, smirked, and skipped off to get ready for her next lecture. I glared at her retreating form down the hallway.

"I'm still going to work!" I yelled at her.

"For the record I think you're stupid!" She retorted back.

I pulled my uniform shirt on over my head and grabbed a pair of black dress shorts from the pile and pulled them on too. I pulled on my flats, wriggling my toes as they protested their confinement.

I grabbed my bag, threw my phone and wallet in. Out of the corner of my peripheral vision, something caught the light. I looked down and saw my camera bag. It was open, and my favourite set up, a full frame Nikon body and a 35mm prime lens, was glinting in the light. It was like it was begging for me to take it for a spin like old times.

I paused. Then, without thinking to much, I picked it up, threw it in my bag and waltzed out the door before I had a second chance to think about the extra 2 kilos of dead weight in my bag that was growing heavier by the second.