^^ please listen to the song at the top
|| AZACIA ||
This morning, I can't decide if I want to go to school or not. I've stopped crying, which is good, but I don't think I'm ready to face Grayson yet.
No matter what he did, I still like him so much that it's driving me crazy. I mean, I think I'm falling in love with him.
But I have to stop myself, because Grayson doesn't like me, he likes someone else. I was nothing to him.
This thought saddens me, but regardless, I dress for school. Ignoring the dark cloud above my head, I pull on a beige colored cardigan and a black skirt.
Today, Jack offers to drive me to school. I gladly accept, grabbing my phone and tote bag.
Silently, the three of us walk to his car. Josie sits up front and I sit at the back.
"Thanks for the ride, Jack," I say, getting out of the car and walking to my locker.
Rose, Alex and Hannah wait there for me.
"How you doing Az?" Hannah asks, enveloping me in a tight hug.
"I'm trying my best," I tell her.
All I really want to be doing is lying in bed and eating my sorrows away, but I guess you can't always get what you want.
Sometime, life's gonna f*ck you over.
Once I've collected my books, Hannah and I walk to English.
"Hannah, I don't wanna be here," I say, sinking into my chair.
She gives me an apologetic look. "I know, Az. But you're the strongest girl I know and I'm sure you'll work everything out,"
I hold back from crying. This time, not because of Grayson, but because of my best friend right here.
"How did I manage to land a friend like you?"
Hannah smiles. "We were meant to be friend soul mates,"
The lesson carries on like normal and I manage to get through it. Thankfully.
All I really wanna do today is avoid Grayson and go home. Not because I'm mad, but because I'm embarrassed.
I let him kiss me, thinking he liked me. I kissed him back.
I feel like such a fool.
When the period ends and it's time for lunch, Hannah and I slowly make our way to the cafeteria.
She stands in the queue for food and I half run to our table, looking at no one, but Rose and Alex.
"Hey, Az," they greet, before returning their gazes back to each other.
"Hey," I mutter, sure they can't hear me.
Hannah arrives then, placing a fresh, warm slice of pizza before me.
"Thank you," I smile.
I slowly nibble at the piece of pizza. For once in my life, I only finish the slice in over 10 minutes.
Once I've finished it, I get a pain in my stomach. Suddenly, the feeling of nausea filling my whole body.
"Hannah," I state. But, before I can continue I look over to see Darren has arrived.
"Hey, Az. I'm so sorry-"
"I'm going home," I say. I stand up, feeling lightheaded, and stagger out of the cafeteria.
Azacia, don't you dare. Not again.
This it what I tell myself as I start making my way into the parking lot.
I climb into my car and begin the drive home.
Everyone's gone and the house is empty. I'm glad for this. Quickly, I rush into the downstairs bathroom.
Don't throw up, don't throw up.
I sing this to myself as I try and calm down.
Once I feel relatively calm, I walk to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water.
I have one of the many mints on our kitchen table and take a seat on our bar stool.
Just then, the door opens and in walks Grayson in all his glory. He's wearing black jeans and a plain white t-shirt that stretches across his body. After everything, I still find him attractive.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, trying my best to sound irritated. Whereas, inside I'm trying to stop myself from having another mental breakdown.
"We need to talk," he says.
Four words. Twelve letters.
"We need to talk?!" I ask, throwing my hands up in the air. "Talk about what? The fact that-" I stop myself.
"I don't want to talk to you, Grayson," it comes out as a whisper and I'm not sure he heard me properly.
"Don't talk. Listen," he says.
I cross my arms over my chest and do as he says. I listen.
"Okay, where do I begin?" He asks.
"Azacia Jones I've had a crush on you ever since sixth grade, but you never seemed to notice me. So, when freshman year rolled around I decided to give up because I thought you'd never like me.
"When I heard Dylan was going out with your little sister, the old feelings stirred back up again. And then we met in the passageway and you were so mad. I thought you were cute.
That's why I made a promise to make it up to you, because I saw it as a chance to spend some time with you. I didn't think that was creepy, I hope you don't.
"Over the past month, I've grown so close to you and when we came back from Heat Festival and I saw you licking icing off your finger, I couldn't stop myself. In that moment, all I wanted was you. And when I pulled back and told you it was a mistake, I was thinking Azacia Jones could never like me back.
That moment was the first time I saw you cry and it killed me inside to know that I made that happen.
"The very next day my atrocious ex Jeanine decided that after all this time, she wanted me back. She tried to kiss me, but before I could push her away, you had seen. If you'd have stayed longer, you would've seen me argue with her. Shouting at her because she was being so unreasonable, that she was the reason you didn't and would never like me-"
"Why are you telling me all this?" I ask, every single emotion running through my head.
"Because,
Azacia Jones I'm so madly, hopelessly in love with you."
A single tear streaks down my face. I know I promised myself I wouldn't cry over Grayson ever again, but how could I not?
And any way, these were happy tears right here.
=•=•=•=
I'm so done with this book.
What did you guys think?
SONG: Sofia De La Torre- Flex your way out (ft. Blackbear)
YOU ARE READING
Finding Love
Teen Fiction"Do not find love. Let love find you" -------------- "What did he do this time, princess?" Grayson purrs in my ear. He actually purrs. Pushing him back slightly, I say, with as much ice in my voice,"He broke my sisters heart," With that I slam my...
