Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter thirteen

Almost home, just a few more hours. I take over driving at our last stop for the trip, Coop looks exhausted and anxious.
"You okay man?" I ask giving him sideways looks as I drive.
"Yeah, I thought by now.... I miss her" he stammers and runs a hand through his hair.
"Soon man" I slap his thigh in understanding, I miss her too.
"Want to know something crazy?" Coop asks chuckling nervously "I'm kinda scared she's going to want sex when we get home" he continues when I nod at him.
"Yeah I bet, sexy ass woman with bedroom eyes and hooker lips. I imagine it's a struggle to get through it really" I roll my eyes at him.
You could always sleep upstairs and I'll make hot sweet love to my girl I think murderously the ungrateful asshole.
"It's not the sex man.... Iz is off the pill. I'm freaking out that I'm not going to make it work you know? What if it's too much for her? I'm begging you to keep this between us but Isabel has been increasingly fragile since Dash. She doesn't talk to me like she does you, I don't want you to betray her confidence but maybe you could find a way to clue me in when it's getting too much?" Coop rambles looking out the window guilty.
"I can't promise you that, if I'm asked not to repeat something I won't. Just like this conversation stays in this car. Isabel means the world to me so I'm not going to let her sink, if it doesn't work I'm not sure how I can help. She has an endless pit of money and family to support her, you guys have options and doctors to talk to right?" I say feeling out of my depth.
"Iz doesn't want options, she wants us to make a baby. I want it to work so bad, my gut tells me it's not going to happen" he sighs and I won't say it out loud but so does mine.
"Then console yourself with the knowledge that at the very least the efforts will involve a shit ton of Izzy calling out your name, I've watched a few chick flicks so I think I'm qualified to give advice here. Make sure she knows every time you lose your load it's because she's the most beautiful woman in existence, because every breathy moan and nail down your back drives you into insanity and it's in no way a business transaction, something as a means to an end" I say trying to keep the visual out of my head and how it would feel to pulse hot and hard into my girl creating life.
"She is and it does. That's actually really good advice, thanks man" Cooper clasps my shoulder in appreciation and I nod.
He actually needed me for something? I actually helped him rather than burdened him? It feels kinda good.

The closer we get to home the more distressed Cooper seems to get, his hair is in disarray and his leg constantly shakes.
"Fuck" he mutters under his breath for the tenth time. I ignore it just like the other times and wonder what could possibly be wrong?
It's mid morning and after driving through the night I'm fucking wrecked, nothing would make me happier than being home and seeing my girl. Even more so for Coop, he can fucking hold her and kiss her while I can only watch. Seriously, what's the fucking problem?
"Think Iz is at home?" I ask
"I hope so, she's not expecting us till at least dinner time so she may be still hanging out at the Masters manor"
I feel a sickness forming the pit of my stomach.
"Cooper? I know you have been afraid to let me out of your sight, I want you to know you don't have to babysit me. You have catching up to do with your wife, I give you my word I'm not going to open a vein today" I say quietly.
"Today? You really feel the need to add that to your promise?" He snaps his face to mine. "Is the pills making any difference?" He asks when I don't answer.
"Some, today more than anything I only feel numb" I leave it at that.
"I appreciate you wanting to give us space..." he starts.
"Bro, I just want to go to bed" I interrupt.
He nods and goes back to brooding out the window and I try to control the way my heartbeat seems to know she's close.

*****

Nothing, not a flicker of emotion coming from the house. What have I done? I pray Iz is out, that she's working or shopping. I can't stand the thought of never feeling her inside me, of not instinctively knowing when she walks into a room or hear her wicked voice in my mind. There is no greater feeling than her love filling my chest and her words of affection in my head.
Cole stops the car in the drive not bothering with the garage, I don't give a fuck about our bags right now and I fight the need to run. I keep pace beside Cole and jingle my keys in my hand.
I open the door and hear the sound of dishes in the sink, fuck she is home.
"Coop?" Iz gasps coming into the living room with her hands covering her face.