Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter thirty three

I stand shaking in front of the TV, I've never felt so much rage. I feel hot and cold at once and my fists are balled at my sides, I feel gutted and sick, I can't breathe. I see her dark hair and in a fury that reminds me of him I grab her from where she sleeps on the small sofa.
With a cry she is thrown across the room by my hands and I hate him even more.
"I never consented! What he did, he wasn't supposed to do that was he? I never wanted that, you let him... he did that without consent and you let him" I watch as her face turns red and in the back of my mind I wonder why.
"Cole.. please stop" she gasps and I see my hands on her throat, they hold her too tight but I can't let go.
"It's not normal, it's not normal. Is that rape?" I spit the word the reporter on TV used to describe horrendous attacks on a young girl.
"Bug please" she pleads me.
"I cried, I screamed but you never stopped him"
"I can stop him now, we can stop him. Let me go, I'm sorry" she cries and her tears pool on my hands.
"We leave, we leave now" I tell her and she nods, her mouth turning blue.
I let her go and she falls to the floor gasping and coughing loudly.
"Shut up, shut up or he'll hear you. Get one bag and we leave now" I pull her roughly to her feet.
"I can't drive Bug, I can't stand" she's wasted again but I can't stay and I can't leave her here.
"I'll drive, you can tell me how" I drag her by the arm down the hall and let her go at my bedroom door.
She slides down the wall crying and I leave her to gather a few things, my keyboard, and a few clothes. My Isabel.
I fill my backpack and empty my pillowcase to fill some clothes for my mother from the bathroom, I don't want to wake him up. I empty the laundry hamper into the pillowcase and go back for her, I pull her feeling an urgency to get out of here fast.
"Get up!" I order quietly and she cries loudly. "Shut the fuck up!" I whisper and cover her mouth.
"Cole no" she shakes her head.
"Now" I growl and haul her outside.
I fumble with the car keys and my shaking fingers can't get the keys in the lock to open the door.

I push her in the car and toss the bags in the back, I sit in the drivers seat of my fathers car and look at all the controls. I can do this, I start the ignition just like I've seen a million times and look to my mother.
"Now what?!" I'm crying and I need to leave.
"Go to R" she mumbles and it takes a moment to understand she means on the gearshift. I do and the car moves a little. "Foot brake" her head rests on the window and her eyes close.
I put my foot on the brake and her hand grips the handbrake. I let it out and take my foot off the pedal, the car moves backwards and I look in the mirror. My heart stops, he's there, he's angry. I want to just drive through him but I freeze.

There's yelling and I'm screaming at him to let me go, I'm dragged inside and punched over and over while I curl into a ball. I don't feel the pain yet, I can't. I block it out as he punches my face.
"What the fuck do you think you were doing Coleson? You think you can leave? You think you can take her?" More punches.
"Its's n..n.not n..n.nn.normal" I stutter.
"You're not normal you fucking retard, shut the fuck up if you can't speak"
"You r..r.rape" I whimper. "N..n..no.. m..m..more" I cry out.
"Is that right Coleson? Is that fucking right boy?!" He drags me the way I dragged my mother but I'm too weak to stop him, I'm too small.
My face hits the side of the dinner table and I whimper, my hands are bound by the thick leather straps on the legs to keep me still and then my legs.. I can't move.. I can't stop him. My pants drop to my ankles and I clench my teeth.
"No more? What about this?" He breathes heavy in my ear and I gasp in pain and fury.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I cry out and he laughs.
"Or what Coleson? You fucking do as your told" he grunts and slams my head down on the table so it rattles my brain.
I lay still and do as I'm told, I seethe silently and watch my mother ignoring what's happening right now and trying to cook dinner in the kitchen. I'm going to kill this man.. I'm going to kill him for this.

He tosses me in the shower, I have it all hot to burn the feel of him off me, I hate him. I hate him so much. I gasp so hard I can't breathe.
My mother has a black eye and bruises on her arms, was that him or me? She sits at the table and I sit with her.
"We eat, he sleeps and then we leave. Just do as he says then we leave" I whisper.
She nods but doesn't say a thing, I don't wait for the asshole to join us. I eat while she watches me and I nod at her fork, she doesn't pick it up and my fist comes down on the table making her jump, I slap her face in anger and she picks it up and eats slowly.
It doesn't taste good but nothing she cooks does, he watches from the kitchen drinking whiskey from the bottle with an arrogant smile on his face. I don't look at him.