Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter forty five

I'll see you tonight, don't forget we have a date.
Cole's parting words come back to me on a shiver, I walk the darkened corridors of the ward and all my babies are sleeping. It's so quiet here at three. It gives my mind time to wander, I sign off charts with x's and oh's, I draw love hearts on the whiteboards above the beds and I can't stop thinking about my man.
The man that will marry me, the man that vows no other will do, the man that would kill for me. The first two I want with every breath, the last I hope he never has to prove but tonight I'm not thinking about that, tonight is for me and my sexy Boy, well it will be in T minus one hour and counting. Tonight we give the other the trust we have never given another, five years with Voldemort and he never achieved this level of trust. I was right to trust my instincts then, I pray I'm right now. I trust Cole I do, I want to. I want him to be the last man I ever sleep with, I want to be last for him.
I have one of his songs stuck in my head and in the darkness I twirl and dance to his voice in my head, I stare at the ring on my finger and I count the minutes till I'm in his arms.

"Earth to Ellie, come in Ellie do you read me?" Sally asks and I snap out of my love haze to see my boss all up in my face.
"You look really pretty tonight, have I told you that? The purple really brings out the blue in your eyes, I just want to squish your chubby cheeks" I smile and tap her on the face with a grin.
"Did you seriously just call me fat?" Sally asks not feeling the same level of euphoria I am.
"Of course not, you are gorgeous, dance with me" I giggle and twirl her on my finger.
"Okay Keyes I'm going to need you to pee in a cup for me" she grumbles and slaps at my hands trying not to smile.
"Ha! Like you don't love me? You know you'll miss me when I'm gone. Don't you worry because I will not be one of those doctors who belittle and demand worship from my nurses" I assure her.
"How bout you get though your shift then finals before you get too cocky? Bed three needs new sheets and a cuddle, he had another nightmare. I've got him in the shower but he's scared the boogie man is hiding in the hallway, I trust that's not yet beneath you Doctor?"
"Uh uh, bed three receiving cuddles stat" I smile and dance my way down the hall.

"You are the very best thing my eyes have seen all night" Cole smiles and catches me the moment I jump into his arms.
"You ain't seen nothing yet Sexy, can you say cream pie?" I whisper and lick his face with a moan.
"Fucking hell, hmm someone is in a mood" Cole groans and places me on my feet. "How was work?" He asks holding my hand.
"Awesome, I missed you" I smile and swing our arms as we walk back to my car.
"I missed you too beautiful, you'll be happy to know I drove most of the night and no one followed me" Cole smirks.
"Not tonight hot stuff, tonight no one wants to snuff me out. Tonight is about love, tonight is about how much I love you"
"No one is snuffing you out, sweetheart I'm fucking loving this smile. I thought this smile was gone, you were still so somber when I dropped you off. I'm not complaining but what's got you so happy?" Cole smiles watching me and I jump on his back with my arms out wide.
"You, you are my happiness Baby. They can take my life but no one can take my Boy" I sigh. "You hear that asshole?! You can't take that from me!" I shout to the night sky.
"Ellie shh, get that pretty ass in the car. You want to drive or am I?" Cole laughs and pulls me against his chest.
"You drive, I want to watch you. I want to watch those hands" I purr into his ear and bite his rough stubble.
"Keep it up sweetheart and we're not going to make it home" Cole chuckles and drops me in the passenger seat of my Audi.
He puts his finger to his lips to remind me we're not alone.
"There's a race tonight, I can't believe I'm missing out on points. I'm back to second I know it" I say grumbling for Lenny's benefit.
"It's not worth it sweetheart, not yet. You'll be back on top in no time. Let someone else have some fun before you show them who's boss" Cole says and starts the engine.
"How is she? She feels pretty sexy huh?" I ask changing my mind on not driving.
"She's tight" Cole smirks over at me and the small space between us is too much.
"How was work? You catch anyone's panties tonight?" I ask to distract me from licking his ear.
"Work was pretty good actually, I played until twelve and everyone kept their panties on. Having a few backing tracks really helped, I've never had anything like those keyboards before, it's going to make playing solo so much better" Cole smiles and he looks relaxed now I'm relaxed.
"I'm sorry I missed it, watching you work on them today was awesome. There is an intensity in you dying to come out through your music, you know you were born to do your own thing. Your covers are amazing and the way you put together the arrangements is refreshing but they're not your words Baby, they're not your stories. I don't care if you play them to an empty bar or alone in your room but you need to play them" I tell him passionately because he needs the push.
"Thanks beautiful, I'm going to try" he nods watching the road. "How was class? We didn't get to talk much on the drive over"
What he means is, tell me about your day now your car hasn't got you petrified into silence.
"Shit is getting real, we saw previous years exams today and I'm thinking there's no way I can do this. It was coincidentally lucky I was in a room of wannabe doctors when I started hyperventilating. Heath was running around for a paper bag and Wade was making fun of him, it was the laughing that helped. I realised I can stress and make myself sick or I can find a way to laugh, either way the shit I have in front of me is the same, I still gotta do what I gotta do right?" I shrug.
"So it was the dropkick twins to put that smile back on your face?" Cole grumbles.
"That place is pretty hardcore, they are my comic relief. They also have arranged an all night cramming and pizza party for tomorrow night before exams start, a few of my classmates are going" I say conversationally.
"Uh huh.... you want to go" he says not asks.
"Did I mention they live in a fucking castle? Sandstone and turrets and if rumours are to be believed, a torture dungeon. Pretty sure it's just used for their tag team sex parties though" I roll my eyes.
"Yes Cole, I would like to spend the night with an incredibly rich handsome man who loves me" Cole nods. "He's so funny and a doctor like me, he's totes amazing" he mocks.
"Oh Baby, green is so your colour" I laugh.
"Elle..." he sighs.
"I actually haven't decided if I want to go, I'd have to give up my shift at the hospital which I'm thinking about doing anyway and I'm thinking it would probably be more beneficial to actually get some sleep so I don't pass out on the second question and what if it's really cold and drafty? It is a castle and I've seen Dracula" I babble.
"And you want my opinion, sweetheart you don't need to ask, you don't need my permission" Cole takes my hand and kisses it. "Do I want you to go? No. Will I stop you? No. Do I understand? Yes. Will I miss you? Fuck yes"
"I could see if I could score you an invitation?" I ask quietly because he's pointed out exactly why I haven't said yes, I don't want to sleep without him.
"No Red, I wouldn't go. That's not my world, there's absolutely no way I'd fit in with that crowd. Castles and books, rich kids and over achieving parents.... I don't think so" he smiles but he looks kinda sad.
"Heath has had a thing for me for the last five years, I've never had the urge to do something about that, I'm not going to start now. He's never balled up and I'm not interested in anyone who thinks I'm not worth the risk" I tell him.
"And Wade?" Cole asks with a frown.
"There's been minor flirting on occasion, maybe just a little fooling around from time to time between boyfriends. Just fun, nothing serious and definitely nothing Heath knows about" I answer honestly.
"What is minor flirting exactly? How do you fool around just a little?" Cole looks over at me.
"You know? Tickling and laughing till someone touches something they shouldn't and somehow you end up with their tongue in your mouth and your bra on the floor. Maybe once when we tried molly we both ended up skinny dipping in the campuses indoor swimming pool at four in the morning while everyone else passed out. It was for scientific research on the chemical change in biology and the physical and sociological reaction upon introduction of foreign elements. We're only friends and have no other feelings for the other but he's cute, sometimes when I'm lonely cute is enough, it was only fun and nothing ever went too far" I try to explain.
"Will you be lonely without me?" Cole licks his lips with a frown, somehow I don't think there's a right answer to this question.
"Yes" I answer honestly.
Cole doesn't say anything else, he just drives in silence, it's not awkward but it is definitely tense.
"Cole, that's not enough anymore. I would never do you dirty, like ever. I'm with you whether I'm with you or not. I'm not drinking or taking drugs, there is zero possibility of me fooling around with anyone other than you. Edit that, with the exception of Isabel there is zero possibility of me fooling around with anyone other than you" I say and Cole's lips twitch. "There is just something about her stomach... I just want to kiss it slowly and with tongue" I whisper and he laughs.
"Elle.." he sighs.
"You ask me to trust you, that has to go both ways" I say gently with a hand on his chest.
"Then you should go, but I'm keeping Flopsy" he nods and dares me to deny him.
Challenge accepted.
"Oh no Boy I don't think so, I'll wrestle you for him" I laugh and Cole smiles.
"You like losing Baby girl?"
"I'll let you know if that day ever comes" I smile and lean across to kiss his jaw and stubble. "You drive really slow by the way, anyone would think you're stalling" I whisper slowly and trace my tongue over his jugular then blow gently.
"Fuck" he breathes and his grip tightens on the wheel.
"Oh no Baby Boy, we're going to make love, nothing held back. I'm going to love you so good" I whisper husky and turned on.
"Yes" Cole groans "hold onto something"
I get pushed back in my seat as he finds sixth gear and I giggle at the urgency in his eyes, about fucking time.