Abi

Day 23 - Bathroom 3:21 PM

I'm so glad Mamãe and Papai weren't home right now. The bleeding has stopped but I grabbed some ice from the freezer to reduce swelling. My nose had scabs on it. It hurt when the ice touched the bruise.

But her words hurt even more. She called me a n*gger.

I've never been called that before. I always told myself that if someone ever called me the n-word, I'd punch them in the throat. But I just stood there. 

And I cried. 

I was so weak. There was bruising and ashiness on my wrist where Shay grabbed me. I put some cream on it, wincing. I rinsed it with some cold water and then went to my room. I laid on my bed and sighed in sadness.

"You f***ing n*gger!" 

She said it so loud. Should I even be this upset? Headphanie isn't relevant! She doesn't matter! Except...we go to the same school. We'd see each other every day. And she threatened me. 

Think about it, Abi.

- she's the most popular girl in school, so she will have loads of backup

- I didn't record her calling me a n*gger, so it's my word (the new girl) against hers 

- and even if I had recorded her, what would the school even do? Probably just give her a couple days of detention. That's nothing!

I'm keeping this to myself. Nobody has to know.

My phone dinged. I grabbed it and checked my iMessages. It was a text from Victor.

"Hey."

Should I even answer? Headphanie told me that if I talked to him, she'd be even worse to me. Then again, I don't want to be rude. "Hi."

Victor: soo...

Victor: we didn't really get a chance to talk 

Victor: at the halloween party, amirite?

Me: yeah, not really

Victor: i just wanted to tell you that i don't hate black girls at all. 

Me: ik. don't worry 

Victor: ok, cool. 

Me: cool.

Victor: and...i wanted to ask you if you wanted to go on a date with me?

I threw my phone across the room. HE JUST ASKED ME OUT?! I stared at my phone, which was on the floor mear my closet. Do I say yes? Obviously! I'm single, he's single! We can date each other if we want to! Headphanie doesn't have to like it! 

I grabbed my phone and said,

Me: really?

Victor: yeah! i mean, you're pretty cool...

Me: okay. yeah, i'll go on a date with you 😊 

Me: i think you're pretty cool too

Victor: awesome! do you have anywhere in mind?

Me: hmmm...

Me: do you like stand-up comedy?

Victor: i don't really go to stand-up comedies...but for you, i'll do it 😉

HE DID THE WINK EMOJI!!! 

Me: aww, that's sweet

Me: not sarcasm, btw haha

Me: when?

Victor: i just looked up upcoming comedy shows. They have one for Iliza Schlesinger this saturday at 7:30 pm. I'll buy the tickets.

Me: heh?! Her tickets cost a fortune!

Victor: the tickets cost $20 for the both of us. it's fine 

Me: oh phew 😅

Victor: got them! 

Me: i'll meet you there at 7:00 then

Victor: 😘 Np

KISSY EMOJI! Why am I this excited? I've been on dates before. I've had one boyfriend and two girlfriends. All of them sucked, especially the last one. Okay, okay, okay! No more thinking about Grace. She's irrelevant, too. Bye, Felicia! Both of them can cash me outside!

Me: see you there 😘

AGAHSHEISNE I'M SO HAPPY!!!!