[Inside Sebastian's room]
Sebastian: *straightens his tie on his wedding tux, then turns to Mey-Rin* How do I look?
Mey-Rin: O-Oh!! You look very nice. *gets tissue to cover nosebleed* I'm feeling funny... Probs cause your sucky butler threw a tray at my face and then made me fall out the two-story window. Or from loss of blood from your hotness.
Sebastian: *not paying attention* Yes, yes. FINNY!!!
Finny: *busts down the new door* Ya rang, mah boi?
Sebastian: Please, Finny, stop trying to act cool.
Finny: *crosses arms over his chest* Wat chu mean, fam?
Sebastian: *facepalms* Finny, don't call me "fam". We are suppose to be in the eighteenth century.
Finny: *notices your reading this* Oh. Hi. I didn't see you... ^0^;;
Sebastian: *sighs* Finny, now is not a good time to break the fourth wall.
Finny: *blinks* Oh yeah, sorry. *turns back to the actual script* Should I call you Mista Sebastian or Masta Sebastian?
Sebastian: *is trying not to get POed* I don't care. Have you prepared the altar??
Finny: Yessiree, Bob.
Sebastian: Good.
Finny: Yep.
Sebastian: The wedding will take place very soon... *turns on tv* As soon as I finish the second season of The Flash on Netflix.
Finny: *pouts* What happened to all that eighteenth century talk??
Sebastian: And what ever happened to you being quiet??
Finny: <.<
//Time skip brought to you by: Ciel's Eye Bleach//
Ciel: *frowns as he entered the building, the wedding song already playing* What!? It already began??
Freckles: *shrugs* Guess so. Hey, lookit how smart Black looks in that fancy getup!! *points to Sebastian at the altar*
Ciel: *is instead looking at the figure in white beside him* I have to who he's getting married to!! And why he didn't want me- *sneezes* to know!! *rubs nose* But first of all- *ditches the cat outfit*
Freckles: *nudges him* You better hurry, Smile. They're beginning their vows!!
"Priest" (aka Tanaka): *turns to Sebastian* Ho Ho Ho Ho, ho ho hohoho Ho hoooooo?
Sebastian: *beaming* I do~!
Priest" (aka Tanaka): *turns to the bride* Ho Ho Ho Ho, ho ho hohoho ho ho HOOOOO?
//All the lights suddenly turn off//
Priest" (aka Tanaka): *looks around* Ho??
?!: *swings down from the chandelier and knocks down Tanaka* I'm no hoe, wrinkly old man~ *looks around, eyes glistening* FOR I AM-
Sebastian: -_-...
Mey-Rin: *trembles*
Finny: *gasps*
Bard: Is that...?!
Freckles: *whispers to Ciel* Who's that??
Ciel: IT'S HE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED!!!!!
Grell: YOU GUESSED IT, HONEYS!!! *twerks rapidly on the altar*
Sebastian: *frowns* Get out of here, Grell! You are ruining the sophisticated atmosphere!
Grell: NU! *hugs Sebastian* I love chu, Sebassy-chan. I can't let you get married to some person. I must have your children!!
Sebastian: I love someone else, and besides *slaps Grell in the face* I NEVER LIKED YOU.
Grell: *sobs* WHO IS THE ONE YOU LOVE?!
Sebastian: Lady Elizabeth, of course!
Everyone: BUT WHO DA FUQ IS SHE?!
Sebastian: *pulls off the bride's veil*
Everyone: *GASSSPPPPP*
Freckles: Is that-?!
Ciel: BETTY THE TIGER?!?
Sebastian: *nods* Of course. Although Betty is just an affectionate nickname for the name Elizabeth. I fell in love the first time we met at the circus. Her ears and eyes are so beautiful, and so are her stripes and personality~
Grell: ... DAMMIT I CAN'T COMPETE WITH THAT!!!!
Sebastian: Now can we get on with the wedding, please??
Everyone: Yep.
//And so Sebastian got married to Betty and had many children and was prosperous and shiz, and Ciel and Freckles went steady while Elizabeth and Grell cried together because dey got dumped. Finny became a cringey background dancer for cinnamon roll commercials, and Tanaka became the pope//
[In Phantomhive Manor...]
Ciel: *jerks awake* EH!?
Sebastian: *enters the room in his butler attire* Is everything alright, my Lord?
Ciel: *slowly lays his head back down on the pillow, sighing in relief* Ah, thank God. It was an evil nightmare.
Sebastian: ...? *shrugs and leaves*
Cat That Humped Ciel's face: *slowly peeks through the window*
Ciel: *notices* What... No, it's not possible. *closes eyes* If I count to ten, it will be gone. *counts* Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. *opens eyes*
Cat: *right in front of his face* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ciel: ARRRUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
THE END !!
YOU ARE READING
Black Butler CRACK~
Fanfiction(Has gotten ranked #152 in humor!) I created almost all of these myself from scratch, so I'm quite proud. PLEASE DO NOT COPY!!!!!! Read. I promise you that you will regret it. But in the best way~
