The next few chapters probably will be a trigger for most people. Just an fyi....
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When I walked out to the living room, everyone was fully dressed, no boxers, thank god. And Mickena had the camera set up in the corner of the room. I smiled my genuine fake smile at her, and she saw right through it like usual, I could tell by the frown she flashed me. I stood in the middle of the room facing everybody. I looked over at Mic and she nodded her head to indicate that the camera was recording. I took a deep breath and began.
“Most of you are probably wondering why we are all here and why I have changed” I said standing kind of awkwardly. Everyone shook their head. “Well I have to show and tell you something and since I’ll be living here from now on, I think you should know everything about me that you haven’t learned from my vlog.” As I said that I took off my sweatshirt revealing the scars and cuts all over my left arm and on the bicep of my right arm. I looked at everyone to see their reactions. Niall just sat there since he knew, Keegan looked semi confused and the other four looked like they wanted to cry and hug me and tell me everything was going to be fine. I continued “As you can tell, I’ve had my fair share of problems. It all started when I was 10 and my father would come home from a stressful day of work, he would relax and have a few beers…but he wouldn’t just stop at two or three, he would keep going and going till he was shitfaced wasted and that’s when the worse part started…the abuse…once he was drunk he would always go after my younger siblings first, the twins, Jake and Ella, 5. They were five years younger than me and didn’t understand much and were also the most defenseless. I would usually try to find them before he did and hide them, and if he couldn’t find them he would come and hit me because he knew I was hiding them. Then he would go after the middle child, Sheldon, he was 8. Now he was smart enough to go next door when dad got drunk most of the time, and the days that he was at a friend’s house he would hit my twin brother, Spencer, 5 minutes older than me.” I broke off there to take a break and see how the others were taking it. Keegan and Mickena were the only two who weren’t in tears, yet, so most of the story is kind of old news. The other five, all had tears running down their cheeks.
I took a deep breath to keep my tears back and went on “Spencer and I always go the worst part of it because we were the oldest and need to learn to be strong. We would try to protect each other the best we could but we usually failed and got it even worse. I think my mum had got the worse of it all, even though she didn’t actually have the physical abuse like us kids did. She had to watch her babies be treated like that, and then my dad would always yell at her drunk or sober…so in a way she got most of the mental part. As the kids got older the abuse got worse. I couldn’t hide the younger ones anymore, Sheldon wasn’t allowed to go to his friend’s house and Spencer’s and I’s abuse wasn’t just hitting, like the three younger kids got. My father started burning us and throwing us down the steps and throwing us into the walls and for me he would cut me…” I said trailing off as I took off my sweat pants, revealing the words my father had carved into my thighs.
The words were slut, useless, worthless, weak, fat, and unloved. I looked up at and everyone was in tears; Niall and Keegan were holding each other, Harry and Louis were sobbing into each other’s shoulders, Zayn was comforting Mickena, and Liam was just staring at me with tears streaming down his face. I nodded at him, indicating that he can come give me a hug. Once Liam wrapped me into a hug I lost control and started crying uncontrollably, so did he. I felt bad for all of them knowing they all wanted to protect me the best they can, but they couldn’t save me from my past. And Mickena and Keegan didn’t even know about my legs, so this part is all new to them.
After we all finished crying, everyone made me sit down to finish telling my story. “When my father would cut me, he would make Spencer watch and if he tried to stop him, my father would throw him across the room and threaten to do the same to him. I felt really bad for Spencer because he couldn’t protect his sister like he knew he had to. He couldn’t even comfort me while it was happening; the only thing he could do was watch and then help me clean up after my father was done. Once the cuts healed he would go back over them, again and again, day in and day out…” I broke off there wanted to get up and find the comfort of my blade, again, plus I wasn’t looking forwards to the next part as well.
“At school everyone would call me an attention seeker, teacher’s pet, and all the names that my father had cut into my legs. All because I would try my hardest not to go home, in class I was usually asking for extra help from my teacher’s or I would let my bruises show hoping a teacher would see them and ask or I would tell a student about what was going on at home…no one believed me, they would call me an attention seeker and tell me to quit lying because there were kids who were actually going through that. I cried so much on the days I would try to get help because I knew what was going on and that it shouldn’t be happening. That was year 5 up to half way through year 9.
“I started cutting on my arms once someone believed me and got my family help. It was Mickena and Keegan. They saw me crying one day after the final bell rang and asked me what was wrong. I told them everything that I just told you except for the part about my father cutting my legs. To my surprise they believed me and came home with me that day. When I walked in the door at home my father hit me, so hard it broken my arm, because I brought friends home. Luckily they witnessed it and called their parents right away. Spencer helped Keegan get the kids around and took them to his car. Mickena helped me to her car and we all went to the hospital, where they called the police and got my dad arrested. I was so happy that day, but was not looking forwards to the next day at school. Luckily, I had Keegan or Spencer or Mickena by my side most of the day.”
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Lillianne's Story (Part 2) will be up either tonight or sometime tomorrow. Stay Strong.<3 Love you guys so much(:
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Wait...What Happened?
Teen Fiction17 year old, Lillianne Marie Lowe, never could have guessed that one day she'd be sitting in One Direction's flat on a day in June. With her troubled and not so healthy past and a torn family, she never would have guessed what would be happening to...
