She tossed & turned in her bed, trying to fall asleep but was unable to do so. Her eyes drew heavy but she couldn't seem to find herself falling asleep.
Her energy was decreasing & her lack of sleep was increasing as days went by. Five years of her insomnia & she still couldn't find a cure for it.
Nothing helped her pain, nothing changed the fact that she couldn't fall asleep at night. She'd tried everything possible, but nothing worked.
She thought maybe a partner in bed would help. After a week of cuddling with her boyfriend Zayn & not falling asleep any faster than usual, she realized she would have to live with it.
Her insomnia tortured her. She was living on three hours of sleep everyday. No one knew how she made it through the day, but she did it.
Soon after people found out about her disorder, she was teased for it. Things became far more worse when everyone found out about her anxiety disorder. She was taunted by everyone. No one believed there was something wrong with this girl, they thought she made all of it up like the attention whore they believed she was.
The only person to believe her was her boyfriend. Her family didn't even care about helping her. No one except for Zayn cared about her well being.
One day she finally broke. She couldn't take the mental pain that was going on inside of her. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed something to take it all away. She needed something to relieve her from this torture from within. It was her last option but seemed like a priority at this moment.
She locked herself in the bathroom when she was home alone & finally picked up the blade.
Her eyes studied the smooth, unmarked skin of her arm before bringing the blade down gently across her skin. She drew invisible lines on her wrist with the blade several times before taking a deep breath.
In a matter of seconds, she was slashing cuts up her arm. With each cut, she repeated a comment thrown at her by her rude classmates. She spoke out loud all the cruel things they had said to her. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she continued to cut away.
The blade was covered with her maroon colored blood by the time she was finished. Her arm looked almost as if someone poured a maroon colored paint over it when she gazed down at the horrific sight. From her wrist to her elbow was covered with cuts, each one representing a hurtful sentence.
She promised herself it would be the only time she took out that blade. But what she thought was going to be a one time thing turned into an addiction.
Everyday a cut was added. Maybe one, sometimes two, mostly three or four. She couldn't stop herself. When she was clean, she always relapsed.
Her wounds could never heal, she wouldn't let them. Every time a scar would close, she'd take her blade & cut it open once again. Her issue didn't affect anyone but herself. Hoodies & sweaters hid her addiction, no one knew & no one cared to know about it.
It wasn't until one day when Zayn had come over to her home when it had all changed. The two of them laid together on the couch watching movies while her parents were out of town for the weekend, leaving the two teenagers alone with each other.
She reached over to grab her drink when he noticed the marks on her skin from the small amount of her wrist that was revealed from under the hoodie she wore. He saw her scars & shook his head in disbelief.
She cocked a brow at him & asked him why he was being so strange. He lifted her sleeve up & gasped at the sight. Not because it was appalling to him, but because it hurt him to see that she had hurt herself like that.
Tears began to stream down her face when she realized her secret addiction had been exposed.
"Show me the blades," he said.
She cried but handed him the rectangular pieces of metal she kept in the bathroom. He looked into her eyes as he slashed his own arm with a blade in his hand.
"Stop!" She cried as she tried to pull the blade out of his hand. "Why are you doing this?" She screamed.
He threw the blade to the tiled floor as he answered in tears, "Because this is what you're doing to me."
She shook her head while tears violently streamed down her cheeks. Zayn pulled her in close, wrapping his arms around her as they both cried in silence.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. She repeated her words. She continued to cry.
"It's okay," Zayn spoke back after every apology.
She promised him she'd never take a blade to her skin again, she'd never hurt herself ever again. He promised her he'd help her get better, he'd try his hardest to help her with her disorders. They both kept their promises.
Even though some of her battle wounds remained on her arm, she kept her promise while he continued to keep his.
• THE END •
