The Key To My Heart

Chapter Nineteen

Leah's POV
The next morning, I was on the couch, reading, when a sharp pain suddenly shot through my stomach. It happened again, and then the third time, I cried out, my book hitting the floor. I cried out again, and was sure now that something was wrong.

"Devan!!" He nearly fell down the stairs, and came in. One glance, and he knew something was wrong. We were out the door and in the car within five minutes.

"It's okay. We're almost there." He murmured, and we pulled up to the hospital. I was taken inside, and put in a room. A few minutes later, Devan was finally allowed in.

"What's going on?" I shook my head, and then felt another sharp pain.
"I'm....I'm not sure." I gasped. It lasted longer, and then a nurse came in. After a few minutes, we figured out what was happening. Our little girl was coming too early. Devan refused to leave even to call his parents and Collins, despite me trying to convince him to. About seven hours later, she was born. She was immediately taken to the PICU, as her lungs weren't developed enough. A couple hours later, a nurse came back in with her.

"I'm going to go ahead and warn you, Mrs. Key, your daughter isn't going to make it. Her lungs are just too small to be able to work properly." She laid our little girl in my arms, and quietly left. I couldn't believe the number of tubes, wires, and patches this tiny girl had on her. Devan came back in, a watery smile on his face.

"She's beautiful. We never decided on a name." I looked down, smiling weakly.
"Hannah. Hannah Grace." He smiled, and then took a quick picture, sending it to his mom.
"My mom's on her way." He said quietly, and I nodded. We spent about 20 minutes waiting for his mom and marveling over this beautiful baby girl. A little later, Anne knocked quietly, coming in.

"Hey. How are you, Leah?" I smiled weakly, and Hannah made a slight cooing noise.
"I'm okay. It's just....I don't know how I'm going to do this." She smiled weakly, sitting down beside me.
"Steven and I never told the boys about this, but we actually lost three kids. Our first girl, Leah, was stillborn. She was born before Collins. Then, in between Collins and Devan, we lost one to a miscarriage, and then after Devan, Ethan was also stillborn." Devan looked at his mom, startled, but I could see the pain in his eyes. I looked back down at Hannah, whose eyes were closed.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He asked quietly, and she shook her head slightly.
"It's still been painful, even after this long. And I didn't know how to tell you two." He nodded slowly, and I gently slipped a finger into Hannah's hand, feeling her going still.

"Devan...." I looked up, and he quickly realized what was going on.
"Is she....?" I took a shaky breath, and nodded slowly. He came over, and Anne took out her camera.
"Do you want me to get some pictures?" She asked quietly, and I nodded. She smiled weakly, and Devan simply stood there beside me. Anne left after about an hour, and it was just the three of us. Devan refused to leave, even for a minute. The nurse came back in about twenty minutes later, and put a stethoscope on her chest, listening. Then, her face slowly dropped.

"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." She said quietly, and I nearly broke down. I squeezed my eyes shut, tears pouring down my cheeks. Devan wrapped his arms around me, also crying. Our baby girl.....She was gone. A couple hours later, I had to let her go. That.....that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Two days later, I was released, and the next day, we went with Steven and Anne to bury Hannah. They left, and it was just me and Devan standing there, looking down at the mound of fresh dirt.

"Why did we have to lose her?" I whispered, leaning against him. He didn't answer, and that was okay. He didn't know. I didn't know either. Now......we just had to figure out how to make it through.  We didn't know how we would. We just knew we had to.