What I Couldn't Tell Him

44 - The Bast*rd I Used To Be

JAIMIE PERRON

I am glad he went to school. Jen knows I want him to carry on with his life and he clearly isn't sleeping enough. It was irresponsible of the doctors to let  him sleep here at all. But I can't say any of this and it is so frustrating. I want to be banging my fists against a wall, screaming and crying....

I havent heard from my mother. I  suppose that is her decision anyway. She has every right to pretend I never existed with all the pain  I caused her. 

They sound hopeful. I don't want to do this to them.

ALDEN WOLFF

I took tentative steps out of my car and across the yard. I dont know what I am afraid of but every nerve in my body  screams at me to go back to her. I spot Jordan, Brooklyn  and Shawn.

"Hey man. How are you?"

"Im not the one lying in a hospital  bed on a life support machine." I growl.

"No," Jordan says calmly, "But you  are the one that has had two hours sleep and can't talk to her."

I sigh, ruffling my hair with my fingers, "Sorry. I am stressed."

He pats my shoulder, an ineffective masculine sign of affection, "Dont worry. She will be  fine."

"I'm pretty sure every single person you have spoken to has said that now. Have a little faith." Brooklym adds and I nod submissively.

I didnt see the girls walk over, but I saw the slightly edgy expressions on the guys faces. I tun to see three curvy, overdressed girls tottering over. They have smiles so sweet I think their teeth are going  to rot.

"Hi. I am so sorry for Jaimie. We were good friends. We are always free if you want to talk about it." The one on the left purrs with a pout. 

"Wait, who are you?"

"Im Madeline. This is Daniela and Tammy." Daniela winks.

"Thanks b*tches. Go bother someone who  doesnt have a girlriend." Shawn interrupts and we all turn to face him when they walk away.

"Wow. What did I miss?" I ask him. He shrugs nonchalantly but watches the girls with his lip curled in disgust.

"I am proud that you guys grew up and stopped sleeping around. Therefore I will defend  you so you dont go back to your bullsh*t." Brooklyn chuckles and shoves his shoulder.  The bell rings and people start flooding the building like they opened a dam. I follow and a tall, muscular guy touches my shoulder. I  spin to see our right back looking at me. 

"I hear you're a free man  now?" I pause, mouth open, watching him in disbelief. I have lost the guys and we are stopped in front of the doors. People are elbowing me out of the way but I dont move.

"What did you say?"

"I heard your bird was in hospital." 

I swung my fist before he managed to  wipe the sick grin off his face. He stumbled and fell on his fat *ss, and his jaw crunched. I spit on the ground and walk away, the rage numbing the throbbing in my knuckles.

People crowd around him and I rub my knuckles, walking away without a second look. Nobody dares to stop me.

As I  walk into class Jordan vaults a desk to get to me, shoulder  barging the people who crowd around, especially  the football  team.

"Sit down motherf*ckers!" He yells, shoving me outside  the room, into the corridor, that suddenly empties of freshmen.

"What was that?" He hisses.