Unraveling Who We Are

41: Goodbye

Emery's view

I felt Gracen grab onto my arm and pull me back to look at her. But I couldn't and she knew that, but she still held onto my arm.

"We are so sorry for not telling you Emery. Please," said Gracen.

"Emery, we were just trying to look out for you," added Jordie.

"Look out for me? How exactly were you guys doing that!? This is reality. How do you protect me from that?"

"What! Did you guys expect me to be weak and break down?"

"Emery, we didn't want to see you in pain and get bad again," replied Clare.

"You can't protect me from the truth. This is life. Life is shit sometimes and all you can do is get back up and keep on going. I've been doing this for such a long time remember."

"And to think that you guys don't believe I'm strong enough to take this, hurts," I add.

"Emery, we are so sorry. We never meant to make you feel like that. We just thought the news would give you so much pain," explained Jordie.

"It's ironic, how you guys, the closest people to me, would end up causing me more pain than finding out the truth. How could you guys do this? You three of all people know how much honesty means to me, for fucks sake I've been beaten and treated like shit by my own father for not being able to lie! But, you guys were so easily able to lie to my face for months."

"I've never lied to any of you, and you guys think that it was perfectly fine to do it to me. Bullshit."

"Emery, I know your mad, but please understand us. We love you Em, that's why we did this. We didn't know it would hurt you this much not to tell you," said Gracen.

"Mad? I'm so far beyond that. I'm pissed off and in so much pain, and you guys caused this, not Lyla, Jackson, or my dad! You guys betrayed my trust! You guys let me down. I expected something like this from my dad, but I never expected this from you guys. I never saw it coming."

"Em, please. We are so sorry," said Gracen.

"You guys let me down. I can't believe you all. I can't even look at you right now."

"I'd rather face the truth and the cold crushing reality then be stuck in a godamn bubble! That's what you guys did. You shoved me in a bubble, to protect me, from what, life. Well I know life far better than you guys. And it's unbelievable heartbreaking to say that."

"And you know what. I'm done here. I'm done with all this. And I'm done with you guys. It's hard to believe you guys meant so much to me. How could you keep this secret? The secret of my yet to be born sibling. You know how important family is for me. Well, I know you guys had no idea who I was." I say as I start walking away from them.

"Emery, please don't do this. I love you. We all love you," said Gracen.

"That's hard for me to believe right now," I said before walking away.

I made it to the car and just slouched down to the ground and cried. Knowing I'd have another sibling was shocking, but it hurt nowhere near as much as knowing that my friends had the audacity not to tell me.

I heard someone walk over next to me, but I didn't look up. Then I felt warm arms hug me tight. My brothers helped me up and gave me reassuring hugs.

On the way home it was silent. Neither of us could talk because we were all processing what to do or say. When I got home, my mom came over to hug me and my brothers. No one was there except us, my mom made everyone else leave earlier.

We just kept holding on to each other, not knowing what to do next.

"I love you all so much. I know that we will make it through this. Whatever happens, we will be okay. We are going to do what's right for that baby. That baby deserves all the love in the world too," said my mom.

We all agreed and we decided to stay on the couch and have a cartoon movie carton marathon to cheer ourselves up.

My family ended up falling asleep after the third movie, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop replaying the events that happened today. It hurt so godamn much. But, I had to be strong and move on no matter what. I can't let myself get sucked back into that black whirlpool of darkness called depression. Just move forward, I repeated over and over until I finally went to sleep.