Unraveling Who We Are

13: I promised myself I wouldn't

Emery's view

Thank god all the events that unfolded were on Friday because I don't think I would have been able to look anyone in the face for a couple of days. Everything hurts. I wanted to say so much but it felt like I was choking, all I felt was a raw burning sensation in the back of my throat. I cried so much, more than I've cried in months since the accident. Everything just came crashing down for me. I remembered every single moment of that crash and I hated it. I hate it because it should have never happened. I hate it because I lost my best friend. I hate it because it left me so broken. I want to scream, I want to run and punch something. I wanted all the pain out, but there was nothing to do, it was all trapped in my head. I can't fix this pain with a bandage. I just want nothing more than to just stop feeling all these damn emotions, it's too overwhelming. I promised myself I wouldn't let it get this bad again, to the point where was so sad and quiet. Believe me I don't want to keep in in, I want to tell someone, but I can't.

I stay in my room for the most part of the weekend. My friends would text me over and over again, but I couldn't bring myself to answer them. Eventually, Ethan told them I was too tired to answer. My brothers and mom tried to help, they did whatever they could think off to cheer me up, but it didn't work.

Saturday night, my mom came to my room. She didn't say anything, but she got in bed with me and hugged me. She knew there wasn't much to do to help me, she knew what I was thinking.

When I saw Liam, the past came back in waves like a tornado destroying whatever I rebuilt of myself. I couldn't look at him, or think of him because of the accident, every time I would Danny and my dad pop into my head. Why did he come back? Why did the accident happen? Why did Danny have to die? Why did my dad leave without goodbye? The questions were all I thought about.

A week went by and I tried hard to act normal. I took my ADHD and Depression meds every day, but it wasn't much help. The nightmares got even worse and I was so tired. Every now and then I'd catch Liam glancing over at me and it broke my heart each time. Gracen tried to cheer me up, but it was no use. I hope this low goes by fast. Please go by fast, I don't want to feel this way.

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Gracen's view

It kills me to see Emery act so down. I hate not being able to see that uplifting smile she always has or hear that cute giggle. I tried everything to cheer her up, but it's no use. But I've come up with a plan because I'm not ready to give up on her at all. I asked her mom if I could come over later without telling Emery. It's supposed to be a surprise.

Around 6 I head to her house and go through her backyard. I throw a rock at her window to get her attention (I know, cheesy, yup) before going up the latter I asked Aiden to get. She looked so shocked to see me coming up and opened her window.

"Umm Gracen, what the heck are you doing?" she asks in bewilderment.

"Trying to see if you'll watch the sunset with me on top of your roof," I say breathless.

"......you know how extremely dangerous that is right...." Emery asked.

"Come on Emery, live a little and stop with the stalling. Let's go up,"

She looks at me in utter disbelief before smirking and saying, "if I slip and fall and break my neck, it's your fault you know. I'll come back as a ghost and haunt you're ass"

I glare at her, "ha ha, very funny"

"Hey, I've already been close to death once, I don't want to be close again okay. It hurt" she said as she followed me up.

That's more of the Emery I know. I'm glad she's being sarcastic back with me, I missed it.

"Oh shut up, you'll be fine" I reply.

We lay side by side each other on the roof and stare at the sunset. It was so calming and being next to Emery was amazing.

"Thank you for this. Thanks for being there and not pressuring me to say anything," she says.

I just look over at her and stare at how beautiful she looks. I can't keep my eyes off her. I have the urgency to kiss her, but I know that now isn't the time.

"I'll always be here, remember that," I say.

We watch the sun go down and watch the sky turn dark blue. The stars are shinning so bright and it's so beautiful. After a while we get down from the roof. We hug each other, but as a pull away Emery hugs me a little tighter so I do too. We let go and say goodbye. She thanks me for everything before I leave.

She waves at me as I drive out of her driveway and my heart almost stopped when she gave me a smile. It was the best thing to end the night with. I'm so happy that I got that beautiful smile back on her face.