Elvirund | ✔️

Chapter Forty Nine

I spent nearly ten years welcoming new angels to Elvirund. Bored as I was, I found solace in Caphriel's visits, many of them extending beyond what I had expected. I even had to send her home sometimes. Eventually, however, I accepted that she would do what she wanted. Even if I told her to go home, she wouldn't until days later. It was hardly as if I didn't want her there; I just didn't want to be the reason she lost out on other things.

She seemed not to care, staying for days at a time until days turned into weeks. It was a tremendous help when the Central gateway got busy, which actually happened only on the rarest of occasions. Of the ten years I was on the job I asked for her assistance less than fifty times. Often I let her stay for the sheer enjoyment of her presence. It was entirely personal, but we both knew what the other wanted. I'm not sure it would have worked so well had we been human.

As we spent more time together, I slowly started to realize that I could call her a girlfriend. It had never occurred to me, as the word just seemed to scream finitude, and we were forever. At least, I hoped. There came a point when I recognized that I loved her more than I had loved anything else, but that I never had to say it out loud. We both just knew. I don't know what took me so long to recognize it. I didn't want to know what in me had taken so long to allow me this relief.

Of course, ten years in the woods did wonders for my physical recovery. Eventually the skin around my left eye healed over, though it remained stained faintly black from the poison. It only took me a couple years to become accustomed to seeing from just one eye. The long scar on the back of my head would never fade, and it was constant reminder of how lucky I was in some respects. At some point, I stopped noticing the scars on my arms so much. They became badges of victory, proudly worn but humbly unspoken.

Caphriel surprised me quite often, bringing me my favorite foods and small gifts she came across. I started to look forward to the day she would show up with a small befriended animal nibbling a seed in her palm, or a bite size version of some food she had tried making. It never failed to astound me how talented she was with those things.

But I think the biggest surprise came from someplace else. It came to us one day, near the end of the last year I held the job, right after Raphael sent us a letter informing us of the new angel he had found to take over the position in two months. Caphriel and I had just finished idly building a swing from four large planks of wood and two rolls each of wire and rope. We'd hung it from the sturdiest branch of a tree and were quietly swinging, her hands playing with mine as I blankly watched the gate. My head was on her shoulder, her cheek pressed against my hair, and we were just swinging gently.

"It's been a while since you've been home."

"Where's home, exactly?"

"Well, Sibriel finally got enough money to expand the shop into the next building, so we ended up converting it into a residential expansion. The basement's now just storage."

"I see. Did you get me a room with enough windows?"

"Wait until you see it. Sibriel disguised the outside of it with a brick wall, and under the disguise is floor to ceiling windows."

I sighed and smiled dreamily. It was amazing, the things Sibriel could do. Now, my nighttime flights wouldn't disturb a soul, except perhaps Caphriel, who knew very well how hard it was for me to sleep peacefully as of late. Dreams of all sorts haunted me while I was asleep, and memories of Gehenna and the First Elder plagued me while I was awake. She had first started accompanying me on my flights when she found me screaming in my sleep at the gateway cottage. After that, it became a habit for her to shake me out of nightmares and bad memories.

"Have you tried sleeping during the day again?"

"I tried, many times. It didn't do much."

She paused her fidgeting with my hands and took my chin with a delicate touch, tilting my face up to hers. Green eyes, a vivid emerald that sparkled brighter than any gemstone could. After searching my eyes for a moment she smiled sadly. I had come onto the habit of keeping a strand of hair hanging over my left eye so I didn't scare any children. Occasionally one brave child would ask to see the "mark of the evil Elder", and I would laugh. They paid no mind to my warnings, and instead would pull back my hair themselves, as Caphriel did now.

"I'm sorry. Genuinely."

"You've apologized too many times. Besides, it's not your fault anymore."

Jumping down from the swing, I paced methodically in front of her. I felt it and couldn't resist enough. The memory came slowly, as if forced. I had just enough time to sit myself on the ground before it started.

She watched as the First Elder shrieked in fury at the Second. Threatened by his tantrum, she couldn't hear what he was saying, only picking up on the fact that it had something to do with her. He was so angry, so very angry, and she only knew it was something that she had done which the Second had been supposed to take care of. His face was red, shaking, mad.

As she started to quietly cry the First Elder turned to her and began to yell at her instead. Uncontrollable sobs wracked her thin shoulders and she shrank back into herself in despair. Automatically she tuned him out, focusing only on living through his tirade. She had seen angels die at his hands.

Inconsolable afterward, she stopped talking, stopped laughing. Her fear of the First Elder became a slowly growing hatred, and that hatred drove her to work even harder at her studies. One day she would overtake him. One day, she promised herself.

With a deep shuddering gasp I opened my eyes to Caphriel drying my tears and holding my head in her arms. Her own eyes shone with crystalline droplets and I sat up quickly. 

"I'm okay. I'm fine, I promise."

"Are you sure?"

For whatever reason, I couldn't stop crying. I fell into her, trying to brush off her mumbled apologies. Sobs shook my shoulders and I took deep breaths, exhaling sweet sorrow with each breath.

"I'm sorry, dove."

"No, no." I smiled hesitantly. "I may have forgotten to tell you why, but it's not your fault anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I, well, I'm recovering slowly. The bad ones aren't you anymore."

She contemplated this for a bit of time before her eyes lit up happily. Her hand traced the swirls of black around my left eye and she replaced my hair slowly.

"Then at least some things have improved."

Her arms tightened around me and she laid a soft kiss on my hair.

"We'll deal with the rest one piece at a time."

I shuddered gently at the thought and memory of the First Elder. Gabriel, though stripped of his title and power, still had lines of influence everywhere. Even with the progress Caphriel reported to me it wasn't enough. He needed to be killed as many times as he came back.

"Can I help?"

"Stay here. Just stay with me, please."

As I calmed the hammering of my heartbeat I heard two light pairs of footsteps behind me.

"Can we help?" The voice asked cheekily.

I hardly dared to hope, but that voice behind me was much too familiar. As I turned to look at him, a smile ghosted his cheeks and he winked. Leaping to my feet, I inhaled sharply and nearly began crying again. With a grin and a light fluttering of his feathers, the dark haired young man in front of me leaned one arm on his companion.

"It's been too long, Alethia."

"Chip?"