She's Got the Rhythm

Chapter Twenty-Four: Betrayal

            I shook with cold fear as I mustered up the strength to get up off the bed. There were a few bruises on my legs and my head was spinning. I was trying to comprehend what had just happened.

            Did he really? No, I had to be imaging things. It’s Ryan. He did it to me. Who would’ve thought? It was definitely hard to believe, but as I replayed all the scary moments in my head, I realized that I was right; this was not a fantasy of mine.

            I bolted out the door, bursting with tears, and searching for Hannah. “HANNAH! HANNNAHHH!” I yelled her name as loud as I could. I didn’t care if he might’ve been in earshot.

            “Oh my god, what is wrong with you?” Hannah ran up to me and gave me a hug. “Is everything alright?” she asked.

            I shook my head. “Can we go?”

            “Yeah, of course,” she put her arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. “I gotta go guys, see you at the show next week!” she waved goodbye to some of the guys she’d been talking to earlier.

            “Do you wanna talk about it?” she questioned me as we walked through the yard and to her car.

            “I-“ my voice was weak. “I-can’t.”

            “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she whispered in my ear as I sobbed on her shoulder. “Let’s get you home.”

            “Can I spend the night at your house?” I asked her like a little kid would ask their mom if they could buy a candy bar at the grocery store.

            She nodded and unlocked her car.

            We rode in silence all the way to her house. She didn’t try to pry it out of me once, but I figured as soon as we got there she’d want to know about every little detail.

            On the other hand, if I told her, she would act immediately-she was that good of a friend. First, by going to beat Ryan’s ass and then by going to the courthouse so I could file for the rape. She’d insist to press charges against him and everything. I wasn’t too sure if I should tell her though, I mean, I never kept anything from her, but this could tear our band apart and we were doing so well.

            As soon as we got to her place, she made us some hot chocolate and we lounged around and watched TV; her parents were rarely home, they were always on business trips.

            After thirty minutes of it, I fell asleep on the sofa.

*                *                      *

            I remember waking up at 3 AM because I was having a night mare about Ryan. The whole situation was re-playing through my head again; it was extremely painful and excruciating. I almost started screaming.

            Hannah came and laid on the floor next to me, and asked me if I’d had a nightmare.

            I nodded. Right then and there, I knew I had to tell her. “Hannah, can I tell you something?”

            “Of course,” she replied as she stroked my hair.

            I took a deep breath and said, “I was raped.”

            Her eyes went wide and she jumped to her feet. Her mouth was moving but no words were coming out. “Are you serious?” the words finally came out, even softer this time.

            “Please don’t tell, please don’t tell,” I pleaded her.

            She got back down next to me and gave me another hug. “Who was it?” she asked as we pulled away.

            “I can’t tell you,” I could barely speak.

            “Honey, you have to tell me, was it some random guy at the party?”

            “It’s all my fault,” I shook my head, crying hysterically this time.

            “No it’s not. It will never be your fault. Listen to me Mandy,” she said so softly that I could barely hear her, “tell me who it was. It’s okay, nobody’s gonna hurt you. Everything’s fine.”

            “It was, it was-“my voice cracked. “It was Ryan,” I said finally.

            “Oh my god, that S.O.B.,” she muttered under her breath.

            “Why would he do this to me?” I sobbed.

            “He’s a rapist, Mandy, you have to report him. Do you know what he could get away with if you didn’t?” she pleaded.

            “I know,” I took a deep breath. “I’m just really scared,” I grabbed the blanket next to me and covered myself despite the almost eighty degree weather.

            “Trust me, I would be too. But you really gotta tell, Mandy.”

            “I’m afraid to say something,” I admitted.

            “You can’t be, once he’s reported, we can press charges.”

            “But I don’t want to!” I cried into my pillow. “I didn’t think he was going to be like this!”

            “There, there,” she rubbed my back.

            “I’m not ready to tell.”

            She sighed. “How much more time do you need to recoup?”

            “A week,” I shrugged.

            “Fine, a week and then you must promise to come clean. Deal?” she held out her pinky.

            “Pinky promise,” I held out my pinky and we shook on it.