Trust Me - a Sophitz story

Part 20

*GASP* A double update? What's wrong with her?? I've got a snow day today, so I'll be doing some writing. I meant to update last week when I was home, sick (I'm feeling much better now) but I had a fever and didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. And now, the chapter. (please don't hate me). I'm dedicating this one to Purple_Writer_ for support and sweetness. I'm done talking now. You can go read the chapter. 

Chapter 20:

Slowly, Sophie turned her head, swirling to look at her friends. "That voice." She could see her shock etched into their faces as well, as clear as Biana's love of Sophitz.

Dex said it first. "That's not possible."

"It can't be."

"He's gone."

"He can never come back."

"He died."

As Biana, Tam, Fitz and Linh echoed the shock, they heard heavy footsteps slowly creeping up the steps. The door creaked open, a centimeter at a time, slowly, slowly revealing the shadowy figure of...

"Sandor?"

He dipped his head. "Miss Foster. Vackers, and Songs." When Tam raised and eyebrow at the use of his last name, Sandor smiled slightly, and correct himself. "Tam and Linh. We need you downstairs."

"Sandor, did we hear..." When Sophie couldn't make herself finish her sentence, Fitz finished for her.

"Mr. Forkle?"

"Not... quite. I'll let the large amount of Black Swan members in your house explain. In the meantime, rest assured that, since the Black Swan are involved, it is not what you think. And Sophie, on a completely unrelated topic, Grizel wants to know when you are going to let her 'bring on the dancing' like you promised. I assure you there is no rush what so ever to respond, or allow her to bring about that torture."

Sandor looked both amused and mildly uncomfortable. "Aww. Gigantor is afraid of dancing?" Sophie realized as soon as she said it that she was channeling Keefe without meaning too, but it was too late to take back her words. She also heard Biana's stifled gasp and the dark, deep, frustrated sigh that she knew had to have come from Fitz.

He growled an adorable sound that should have come from a creature the size of Iggy, and when she laughed, his squeaky sigh was accompanied by, "Well, then, perhaps I can question your love life, Miss. Foster?"

Laughing again, it really was Fitz's favorite sound, Sophie turned and kissed Fitz on the cheek. "What love life?"

But before a mildly shocked Sandor could respond, they were called once again, this time by Edaline, and Sophie, holding on to one of Fitz's hands, led the way downstairs, still smiling at the squeaky mumbling coming from Sandor, who had trailed behind them dutifully, as always.

***** **

Sophie realized three terribly truthful things as she walked down the stairs, surrounded by her friends. Her friends who were in danger because of her. Her friends who were no longer safe. Her friends who had been scarred by the war she had caused. She realized that she was running just as much as she knew Keefe was. She was running from the truths they were seeking so desperately. She realized that she was the reason Keefe was pushed away and the reason he was lost. She, the blind, the trusting, the human girl who barged into the glittering elven world and ruined everything. And her final, fundamental truth? She was so much more broken than she was willing to admit.

"Soph, are you okay? You look pale."

She panicked first, hoping her hadn't seen the thoughts she shoved into a dark corner of her mind as soon as she felt the familiar ripple of her cognate's consciousness. She realized he hadn't heard her thoughts second, and decided, blocking him just enough that he wouldn't realize, not to tell anyone. If she voiced her words, they would become true. The illusion of happiness would crack, and they would see her weakness, her failures, and it would destroy her.

"Yeah, Fitz, I'm fine. Just a bit tired I guess."

His deep accented voice again filled her head, his transmission so soft and worried for her she nearly cried. She couldn't do this, she couldn't lie to him, she... had to do this. For her friends. "Princess, are you sure?"

"I told you not to call me that!" Her voice was so sharp and angry she flinched at her own tone as soon as she said it. But when his voice responded, so weak and terrified for her, of her, she instantly shrunk back.

"Soph..." His silence said so much more than words could.

"Sorry, Fitz. I'm just... stressed. And we're going to hear Mr. Forkle again. I'm scared of what we'll learn. I don't want to put my family, or you guys, in danger."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Fitz, I promise."

"Okay." He, thankfully, withdrew from her mind once again, as they reached the living room. But only one thought echoed through Sophie's head. 'Fitz, I am not okay. At all.'

***** **

The group of young elves arrived in a gaggle, Linh and Biana in the lead, giggling, Sophie behind them, in a daze, clutching the hand of a worried Fitz. Trailing behind were Tam and Dex, who were deep in a different conversation, with Sandor protectively taking up the back. The slumped into couches and chairs and piles, worried but confident. Well, all but Sophie. She wasn't paying much attention from her armchair by the window.

The group talked and planned. They were discussing ways to possibly open the cache, Kenric's of course, but Sophie wasn't listening. Her shield of humor and joy was chipping away, and she was slowly drowning in guilt. As she sat, her friends grew more concerned, as she didn't respond or put in ideas. But if she wanted to talk, she would talk. Sophie had aways been open before, there was no reason it would change now. Right?

As the group talked and planned, and discussed ways to open Kenric's cache, Sophie watched in silence. They were talking about Mr. Forkle now, his archive of memories. But she couldn't see past the fact that it was her fault Kenric died, her fault Mr. Forkle died, her fault they were in this mess. Her last thought was, 'if only I could have been normal.'

And. 

Then. 

She. 

Slipped. 

Away.