British Bird - Complete

British Bird - Chapter Twenty Six

British Bird
Chapter Twenty Six
Sang

I never did ask Cara and Johnny about my theory of adopting me. If anything, I pushed it aside and made myself never think of it again. My hoping that one day my theory would be a reality almost consumed me, so I push it aside and never thought of it again.

But now, knowing that they had applied for that adoption crushes me. It's pulling at my heart, ripping at the strings and tearing it right out of my chest. I wish I was being overdramatic but I wasn't. I would have loved for Cara and Johnny to have been my legal guardians, my parents...A Mom and Dad I had always hoped of having one day.

I bury my face into my knees, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. I've been unable to sleep since reading the letter from my grandmother and Owen telling me that Matthew Parker is behind the money Michelle is receiving. Gabriel and Luke had retired to my bed about an hour after that but I've heard them talking.

The others have crashed in my living room, not even bothering to get any sleeping bags out and just settling to sit with a pillow behind their heads on the sofa or lying on the floor with one. They're not sleeping, just lying with their eyes closed. They've also left me to my thoughts, let me wander aimlessly and restlessly around the flat, giving me the space I need right now as I try and make sense of everything in my head.

But I've seen the way some of them watch me, worried that I would somehow harm myself. I won't do that, not now. I won't harm myself just because of Michelle. She doesn't deserve knowing that she's made my head spin with betrayal, hate and hurt.

A knock at the door has me lifting my head and turning to towards the pink shower curtain. I can only see shadows of the room through it; like my robe hanging on the back of the door and the towel that is lying on the radiator. "Yeah?" I call softly.

"It's me." Victor's familiar voice comes through the door, slightly muffled by the panel of wood between us and the sound of the shower. "Can I come in? I won't look. I'll just sit on the floor. I need to know you're okay."

I close my eyes, hearing the worry towards me in his voice. "Yeah, come in," I call. The door opens a second later, a blast of the steam I've created leaving with a blast of cold air coming in. I shiver and tighten my arms around my legs.

I watch through the curtain as Victor turns and closes the door before moving towards where I am in the bath, the shower above my head. My eyes widen, thinking he's going to open the curtain, but instead he turns around and sits down, leaning his back against the side of the bath. My shoulders relax.

We're both silent for a little while, listening to the sound of the waterfall from the shower head. I watch the back of his head through the shower, the side of my head resting on my knees. It makes me remember my asking Owen how Victor had been. The question is there, on the tip of my tongue, but before I can get a word out, Victor is talking. It's like he knew what I wanted to ask.

"My parents died," he says quietly. "Just after my eighteenth birthday."

My heart constricts in my chest at the pain I hear in his voice. I know that Victor and his parents didn't have a great relationship, but he still cared, even if the actions of his mother and father and the way they were made him dislike them. "I'm sorry, Victor."

He laughs, but it's hollow, forced, one full of disbelief yet acceptance. "Don't be, I'm not."

"You cared about them though," I whisper to him. "Even if you didn't have the best relationship with them, you still cared, even if they didn't return it."

He's quiet for a few seconds. "It's hard, you know? They put me through so much; my father and his abusive ways, my mother and her demanding ways. I hated them yet my heart still cared for them, even if I didn't want too."