Little Miss Marauder

Chapter 10 - You Don't Understand

Chapter 10 - You Don't Understand

James had seen his sister get onto the other boat and was sorry to see her go, hoping that she would be safe until he could catch up with her again at the castle. As the boats set off he was looking around trying to find the boat that she was in so that he could keep an eye on her. Once he spotted her and saw she was talking, he relaxed and glanced to the other people in her boat. That was when he froze. There was an auburn haired girl sitting next to Cassadee but that's not who shocked James. The boy. James had seen him before. He was the neighbor's son. Even from across the lake James could tell that this boy was not happy talking to his sister. He couldn't help but glare at him, nobody should look at his sister like that.

Sirius was talking to Remus and Peter but his mind kept wandering off to think about Cassadee. He wished that she was in the boat with them, they had gotten along so well on the train, why couldn't they stay together on the boats? But really he was just wishing that he would be able to talk to her more, get to know her better. Sirius was just sitting in the boat thinking, not realising that this was the longest he had gone without talking. The other boys had started to notice this as well, as they were already so used to him interrupting him half way through their sentences.

Remus was sitting in the boat talking to Peter about the different kinds of sweets that were available from the trolley lady on the train. Well there was not much of a conversation element to it as Remus was not contributing to the conversation, heck he was barely listening to the boy talk, his mind stuck at the look that was in the girl's eye. The fear she had when she looked into his eyes. Just remembering the pain sent shivers down his spine. It forced him to remember what had been forced upon him as well.

Cassadee sat in the boat, silently sobbing as she ignored the hushed tones Lily was talking to Severus in. Seeing him again made her realise how much of a monster she really was. Now her heart wished that she had stayed with James and the others instead of trying to be kind, but her head was telling her that this was what was supposed to happen. This is what she needed to happen. A feeling of closure. Knowing that not only did she blame herself, but he blamed it all on her too.

Severus felt a tinge of guilt as he looked at the girl sitting opposite him, her hair covering her face, but her body convulsing as she sobbed. He could just imagine the pain in her eyes and the tears rolling down her cheeks. His eyes began to soften as he just looked at her. "No!" his voiced screamed within his head. Almost making him physically jump. "You remember what she said. What she did. The pain she is feeling now is nothing like what she put you through. The things she said, or more so, the thing she didn't say." "Goodbye" echoed through his head. All he had needed from her was a bit of closure. He couldn't deal with her. Not now. Not for the next seven years either. Severus knew he would have to push her away. Prevent her from hurting him again. He couldn't go through that again.

Lily watched on confused. She had stopped lecturing Severus and trying to calm down Cassadee once she realised that neither of them were even paying her the slightest piece of attention. Not that she minded. This seemed like something that went a lot deeper than the two of them just bumping into each other before. They were only 11 and yet were in so much emotional conflict. Lily couldn't get a word out of either of them, but she knew she had to find out what had happened between them. She couldn't just let this go. Yet she couldn't help but wonder why Sev had never mentioned her before. She had known him for three years and yet he had never mentioned a girl named Cassadee before. Did he not trust her enough? She had told him everything about her. She began to felt slightly hurt and betrayed that Severus had kept something, that was obviously so big to him, from her. She believed him to be her best friend.

James once again looked over to Cassadee's boat just to check on her. But when he registered her hunched over and shaking he panicked. She couldn't let it out, not here, not now. James began to breath heavily, he couldn't get to her to calm her down. He believed that she was going to turn. He leaned down, over the edge of the boat, in attempt to use his arms as a paddle to get their boat closer to hers. Yet the spell that was on the boats would not allow him to. He did nothing to turn the boat off of it's set course.

"James? James! What are you doing?" He felt a tug on his shoulder, as he was yanked to face a concerned Remus, Sirius and Peter. "I need to get to Cassadee!" James said as he turned back, attempting to paddle. "Dude... you've been away from her for like 5 minutes! You gotta give her space." SIrius laughed, not realising the seriousness that was in James' expression and voice. "You're being way to overprotective!" Sirius and Peter were laughing, Remus joining in, until he noticed the frantic movements of his new friend.

Remus looked up and followed the line that James had turned in. Just to see a girl hunched over in a boat, sitting opposite a boy and girl. The boys expression was filled with hate. Remus realised that the first girl must've been Cassadee. "James. You can't get to her. The boats, there on a set course. You won't be able to reach her till we get to Hogwarts. Then you can talk to her. See why she's crying." James spun around, a frantic look in his eyes, he was scared. "NO! I can't wait! She needs help. She needs me! You.. you just don't understand." James didn't realise a tears were leaking from his eyes until he saw the confusion and sympathy on Remus' face.

That was the last thing James saw before he jumped into the Lake. He was going to do anything he could to reach his sister.