Little Miss Marauder

Chapter 24 - Just Leave

Chapter 24 -Just Leave

It was the September of their fourth year. The group of five had grown closer over their time at Hogwarts and had managed to make a name for themselves amongst both students and teachers, most finding humour in the pranks that they pulled. Lily and Severus where part of the students who did not approve of these so called 'harmless' pranks. Severus, as he was normally on the receiving end, and Lily because she did not enjoy seeing her closest friend ridiculed. Lily tried to get along with Cassadee, they shared a bedroom after all, but the girl never seemed to try with her, only receiving small answers. Lily would assume this was just her being shy, but she was smarter than that,the younger Potter twin was loud and boisterous around her group of friends, around anyone else really, even their other dorm mates. Yet the two Gryffindors never seemed to connect to each other.

Cassadee could never get on with Lily, as much as she wanted to, not whilst she was still friends with Severus. Every chance that the Slytherin had he would use to tear her down. Cassadee had grown used to his remarks as the years grew on. His opinion no longer affected her the same way that it used to, but she had to admit that his constant comments did attribute towards that particular group of Slytherins to be at the end of many of the jokes, none that had any lasting effects.

As close knit as the friendships had grown over the three full years, James was still the only one to know about her "little furry problem" as he called it. She was sure that the boys did suspect something, but luckily she could attribute her monthly illnesses to bad reactions to her period. This caused them to be too awkward to approach the subject they did not question her any further and had allowed her to deal with her problem as just her, James and Madame Pomfrey. Curiously, Remus seemed to end up preoccupied at the same time. Cassadee had her suspicions that Remus had to deal with the same demons that she had, but she knew the pain and the fear that came from it all that she did not want to approach him about the topic.

Sitting in the dining hall the morning of the next full moon, Cassadee was twitchy. Every loud noise made her jump, Sirius' loud laughter put her more on edge. She didn't know why this time she was affected this much, this early on in the day. James could tell something was wrong, of course he knew what time it was, he knew what was going to happen, but this time something was different. The others noticed that Cassadee was out of sorts, they were used to her mood swings but they loved her like they loved each other, so seeing her this unusual, it took a toll on all of them. Sirius was going out of his way to be loud and boisterous, attempting to distract her from whatever was happening, Remus was spouting facts he read from another book he borrowed from the library, Peter was piling more and more food onto Cassadee's plate and James just sat and smiled at his friends, joining in with Sirius' antics every now and then.

Cassadee could tell all of the actions her friends were doing to try and cheer her up, she was grateful, but nothing seemed to work. All of the additional noise agitated the beast inside her more. Abruptly she stood up, pushing the entire bench of students away from the table, shared a meaningful, scared look with James and walked away and out of the doors. "Cass?" Sirius called out from the table, getting up and following her before James could stop him. Peter and Remus both glanced towards James, Peter being the first to talk, "Did she not want the food?". He always tried to bring humour to a conversation, yet there was always an underlying insecure tone. James chuckled "Yes Pete, she didn't want the fried egg today" causing the two remaining boys to laugh along as well.

Sirius briskly walked down the corridor, checking each branching hallway for his friend. He reached the doors to the hospital wing that he had just seen Cass go into, peeking his worry. He knew that she had a hard time each month and every time he was concerned, she had to spend at least one night in the hospital wing. Walking through the doors Sirius looked around, glancing at the few students who occupied the beds, spotting Cassadee of to the side speaking in hushed tones to Madame Pomfrey. Wanting to respect her privacy, Sirius waited where he was until they seemed done with their conversation and called over to her. "Cass! Are you okay?! You ran out of the hall really quick? What happened? I was... we were all worried!" Sirius bombarded the girl with questions, not leaving enough time for her to answer. "Of course I am Sirius. I just felt a bit sick I had to come speak to Poppy."

"That's not what you do when you're a 'bit sick' Cassadee! You would at least tell us where you were going! That was almost the same as your dramatic exit first year! That was the way someone would leave when something is wrong." He looked into her eyes, wanting to be given a sign, a slight indication she would tell him what was going on. "I said i'm fine. Why don't you believe me?" tilting her head, trying to be as convincing as possible.

"I've known you for three years. You can't expect me to believe that! Please... can you not just tell me the truth? What is going on with you?" He received no reply, she just averted her eyes from his gaze. "Just this once. Let me know what's happening up there." He tilted her chin up and caressed the side of her face.

"I said i'm fine Sirius. Please... just let this one go."

"This one?! Are you being serious right now?" Cassadee knew he was truly concerned this time, he didn't even attempt to make a joke out of his name. "I've let each time go every month for the past three years. I've given you space and time for you to tell us what's going on, but this time seems worse than the others. This is the time that you need me Cass, you need all of us. I can tell. So don't try and push me away again."

"Please... Sirius... Just leave..."

Complete disbelief flashed over Sirius' face. Was she really doing this, here, now. In the middle of the hospital wing, 3 nosy students failing to subtly listen to them. He pulled her towards him, perfectly exhibiting the Gryffindor stubbornness he was known for. "I'm never gonna leave you Cassadee Potter. Not now, not ever. No matter how far you push me, push any of us away, we will be here for you."

Cassadee leaned into his embrace, praying that this wouldn't be the last time she would be here, in his arms. But she knew, that when he found out, when Remus and Peter found out... none of them would want to speak to her again.

If only she loved herself enough to realise he was telling the truth.