The Bakery Girl // n.h

Chapter 27: Flowers

Bel's P.O.V:

What the hell had just happened? Why have I acted like a bitch to him? I was mad; not an the best excuse I came up with. I just can't believe he doubted me. Doesn't he trust me? At all? For a split moment, I felt worthless, a whole has been erupted in my heart, leaving me re-thinking the whole deal. When he doubted me, I felt worthless. Why? Because I finally had found the right person to help me figure myself after years of lost colors.

Before 6 years, my life has lost it's color. Black and white is the only ink that my life has written with. But with Niall's attendance in my life, the colors were slowly coming back, making the black and white ink fade away. I liked my colored life, very much I did. It's like I was a dying rose that was trying to survive for years until Niall decided to shower me with water, making my scent and colorful petals come back to life. So when he said that, I felt worthless because after what he done, after he showered me with love and believe, making this dying rose grow, all I did was made him doubt. Although I don't want to loose the colors due to the dullness stage I was once on, yet he made me upset by doubting because he knows that my live is only reserved for him. God, am I really this messed up?

Tears were threading to escape my eyes, trying hard to find an escape. I tried holding them back but there was no use; they wanted to escape myself. Those tears are represented as Niall's water when he showered me, now that he's gone, I'm starting to drain out of water, starting to slip into my dullness stage once again. Without him showering me with love and believe, I'll return to dull Bel, and I don't want to because I love Niall. From all my heart, I sincerely do. I didn't mean to mess up this chance but his doubt made me rethink everything, reaching to a knowledge of mine that Niall tried to save me but I pushed him away. Afraid that one day, he'll stop showering me with love and believe and I'll return to be the lonely dying rose left; 'cause the others are already in love.

"Bel, you alright?" Harry's light whisper made me cry even harder. Your weak, my mind reminded me and I cried harder. Why am I crying in front of Harry? I never cry in front of anybody but Niall and myself. I quickly wipe the tears away, hoping he haven't noticed my red eyes and wet cheeks.

"Just fine" I answer, faking a smile. Fake smiles were always my escape if I was ever going to get busted with either tears or dark secrets. I wear to masks; one in front of my friends and the other in front of myself. The mask I wear in front of my friends is unbreakable, until today, it was as if it was made of steel. But the other one, it was a weak mask, it's power is that it won't reveal itself in front of anybody easily, so I honestly liked that mask. Whatsoever, when that mask is revealed when I'm alone, I either start taunting myself or slip to the other problem solving, which is cutting.

"Are you sure?" He asked, resting a hand on my shoulders but I unexpectedly flinched. His touch was soft, but it wasn't Niall, so I can't relay on him as much as I do with Niall.

"Just fancy"I mutter under my breath as I look him straight in the eyes, his eyes held two symbols; worry and sadness. I inwardly escaped his gaze and rushed towards the door. I have to find Niall; I have to find him fast.

***

This chapter holds so much emotion :(

Sorry for late update, I'll try update on time xxx

Until next time,

Dana x