Capricorns and Devil Horns

What Do You Think About God?

The next morning, I found Morgan in nothing but red boxers rummaging through my cupboards.

"We're out of milk." He said nonchalantly, as if he'd been living here for years.

"We're out of milk?"

"Yeah. Oh by the way, would you be a dear and give me a lift to pick up my stuff later? I'd quite like to get settled into my new abode as soon as possible." He grinned widely.

"You found somewhere to stay?" I beamed, grabbing a mug from the stand.

He looked at me as if the answer were obvious.

"Yes." He laughed, cocking an eyebrow, "Here."

My eyes widened.

"Ohh...I-"

"No no! Don't do this to me. You-you offered me your spare room last night!"

"Y-Yeah..." I spluttered, "For the night!"

Morgan pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning back against the counter. I awkwardly finished making my coffee as he stood there, head in hands. As I reached for the milk, he slowly lifted his head.

"But, the room is spare, no?" He questioned.

"Yes..." I answered cautiously.

"Please, Nora. I have nowhere else to go!"

"I don't even know you! You could be a psychopath for all I know!"

"I'm not! For all intents and purposes..."

I rolled my eyes.

"I like my own space, okay?"

"You won't even know I'm here! I'll pay rent and do my own washing. And I have a collection of over 200 DVDs that you are welcome to at your leisure. Come on. Please."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Do you have friends?" I asked.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"I'm not planning on throwing mad parties, Love."

"No. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. The show."

Morgan's face relaxed and a smirk twisted upon his lips.

"All ten seasons, My Dear."

I sighed in defeat.

"If you let me drink my coffee in peace, I'll consider it."

In an instant, he became a giddy child. He began jumping and clapping and giggling all around the kitchen. Then, without warning, he grabbed me by the cheeks and smooshed a kiss straight onto my lips. He then skipped off into the living-room and lounged back onto the sofa, watching a re-run of last night's Big Brother.

Of course, there was no "thinking about it". Morgan officially moved in that day. I drove him to his ex's house- a small but detached place around half an hour away from my- our- apartment. I waited in the car for a quarter of an hour or so, and he came back carrying more Asda Bags For Life than I could count and Season 4 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S between his teeth.

To thank me, Morgan wanted to take me out to an expensive restaurant, but, being as socially inept as I was, I didn't exactly welcome the idea of leaving the house. We eventually compromised on staying home, lighting some candles and ordering enough Chinese food to feed us for the next week. We sat facing each-other on the sofa, Morgan with a glass of rosé and me with a bottle of beer.

"How did things go today while I was waiting in the car?"

"With Viv? She shouted at me for showing my face, then frickin' David comes down the stairs in nothing but matching socks.

"Matching socks? Specific" I mused.

"Yeah. The bastard deserves all the bad luck he gets."

"You've lost me..."

"Matching socks. Unlucky, obviously."

"Obviously." I agreed with a small laugh and a swig of my beer.

"Exes, huh?" Morgan remarked.

"I wouldn't know." I said and Morgan almost choked on his wine.

"You've never had an ex before?"

"What are you trying to suggest about me, Morgan?" I scoffed.

"No. It's just...I don't know- you-you're a handsome girl is all."

"Thanks?"

"Asexual? Aromantic?"

"No, I-"

"Don't worry. Proud Pansexual here." He put up his hands in defence.

"No. Seriously. I've just never found the right guy. I've only ever liked one and that didn't go too well..."

"How so?"

"Well. I was fourteen and I fell in love with this guy in my art club. He was in the year above and a total dork. But, to me, he was perfect. We had so much in common. Anyway, I told my close friend at the time, who was already closer to him than I was, but she had no interest in him like that. The three of us would hang out and it was pretty clear that he liked her. What could I say? I had no possession over him- he was free to like who he liked. It bothered me, obviously, but not as much as the flirting. When the three of us hung out, he would change under her attention. He would stop talking to me and focus on her. And she changed under his attention. Damn, did she love attention. They would flirt and touch and say stuff... Ugh. Eventually, I just stopped talking to the pair of them... Jamie was an Aries anyway- it wouldn't've worked between us."

I hadn't noticed Morgan scoot closer to me as I told my story, but now he had an arm around my shoulder.

"Men are such dicks!" He exclaimed suddenly, making me jump a little and giggle, "That's why I prefer women. Although, I must say, I've shared some of the best nights of my life with blokes. Takes a man to know what a man likes, I suppose."

"Maybe I should become a lesbian then." I snorted.

"Not a bad idea, Love." He agreed, "If you do, I know the most gorgeous little waitress who would be crazy over you."

"I'll keep that in mind." I laughed, finishing my drink.

It was funny to me how quickly the wine went to his head. He looked like a geezer that could handle his drink, but he was already more than tipsy after one glass.

"What do you think about God?" He asked suddenly, again making me jump.

"What?"

"I think he's a knob!"

"Okay?" I giggled.

"Would you banish your son to eternal damnation just for loving you too much?"

"No?"

"Good. Good. You. Are. A. Good egg. Just don't become a Satanist, alright? Those guys are the real dicks! Y'know they don't even believe the Devil exists?"

Oh good grief, my house-mate was probably a Satan-worshipper. What had I gotten myself into?