No Turning Back

Whenever You Remember

Parents always say that graduating high school is a surreal feeling. They tell you that one day you'll be sitting there in your new desk with all of the other freshman, feeling both frightened and excited about everything, and the next you'll be sitting in the a big college auditorium in your graduation gowns, waiting to take the next big step in your life. I'd never believed my parents when they would tell me that. Honestly, I thought that high school was something that dragged on and on. Senior year may have flown by but the other years didn't. They were long, slow, and anything but boring. I will give high school that. It sure was interesting. I honestly couldn't believe that I was sitting up on this stage, next to Michelle Patterson whom was the salutatorian, waiting to give my speech and just be done with high school for good. It was more surreal than I'd imagined it to be.

As I waited for the principal to finish his long speech about our futures, I let myself scan around the building. I first looked around at the audience, a part of me expecting my parents to be there. Sure, I knew that they were facing some serious charges but I think social services would at least grant them the permission to see their kid graduate. Surprisingly, I did find them sitting near the back, their faces stern and tight. I felt a bit of nervousness hit me as I stared at them. I'd been waiting for this moment for years. The moment where I'd make the proudest they've ever been. I forced a smile at them since they were staring directly at me. While my mom looked away, her nose wrinkling a bit in disgust, I saw my dad's eyes crinkle a bit at the sides. It was his form of a silent smile. That was enough for me.

I turned my eyes to my Aunt Tammy, Ashley, her boyfriend, and Zac who were sitting in the bleachers of the big auditorium. My aunt Tammy was watching me with a soft smile, Zac was smiling widely at me, and Ashley was leaning her head on her boyfriend's shoulder, admiration of me painted clearly on her face. I'd met her boyfriend back in the hospital all those months ago and I found that he was actually a pretty cool dude. He really did care about my sister and that's all that mattered to me.

Melanie was sitting in her chair, looking gorgeous in her gold gap and gown. She was staring at me too, a soft smile on her face. On prom night, she had slept with Damien. She felt pretty proud of herself. He'd told her that night that he was going to college near Stanford so that they wouldn't have be a huge distance away from each other. He told her that he loved her. I let her get out all the mushy gushy stuff before I reluctantly told her the reason why I never made it to prom. She cried when I told her what had happened and the next time she saw Jayden, she hugged him tightly and wouldn't let go for a whole half hour. He seemed annoyed by it but I knew that he liked her affection. The two of us had become good friends with both Bethany and Jayden. That had to be one of the best things that came out of this year.

The second best thing was the boy who was sitting in the fourth row of graduates in his royal blue robe, his bright green eyes staring up at me. Jayden...my love. While we weren't still officially together, I don't either of us really cared. Somehow, we had found our way back to each other through both of our tragic times. Somehow, we managed to find the same spark that had been working on us when we first met. We were meant to be together for whatever time there was going to be. How long that was didn't really matter to me. All I knew was that I was going to make that time count. I loved him and I wasn't going to let him go ever again. Jayden noticed I was staring and shot me his tiny smile that I loved so much.

After a long, dragging time, I was finally introduced to make my speech. Surprisingly, my class clapped loudly for me as I walked up to the podium. I was expecting some shouts of inappropriate names but there were none. Guess they figured that they would never see me again so it didn't matter. Thank God. My eyes flicked to my parents in the back and I noticed my father straighten up, a small smile coming upon his face. My mother had also turned back to me, her eyes showing interest in what I was about to say.