No Turning Back

Can't Say This Wasn't Expected

I tapped my pencil as I stared down at the math problem on my paper. It was about sixth period and I was in the middle of a calculus test. Now, I knew how to solve the question but my mind just wasn't here in the classroom. It kept roaming around to other places. I'd never had that problem before. Usually, I would be able to focus intently on my task at hand even when something was on my mind. This time, however I was focusing on everything but my test. I was struggling with this throughout the entire test. I should be thankful that I knew what I was doing so my absent-mind didn't really cause me too many problems. I quickly glanced at the clock to see that I still had a good ten minutes of class to spare and I was only on the last problem. I blinked myself back into focus and scribbled down my work. Once the answer was done on paper, I got up to walk to the teacher's desk and put my paper down in the designated test bin. I was the first one finished...as usual. My teacher shot me an encouraging smile as I continued my action. I shot her a polite smile back before turning to go back to my desk. Mia was walking down the aisle, holding her test in her dainty hands. She smiled shyly at me as I met her big blue eyes. I winked at her, causing pink to rush to her cheeks. It was so cute.

Once I sat down, I finally gave in to the fight I was having with my mind. I let it drift back to last Friday: the place where most of my questions were swimming around from. I mean, most of the night went pretty well but it was near the end that it got...strange. It started out with Ashley catching Mia and I making out on the couch. I was on top of the smaller girl and had my hands halfway in her pants. Ashley had seen me in similar positions with my past girlfriends so she merely laughed at me when she saw us. Especially after I practically fell to the floor from being surprised. It got even more embarrassing when I was too busy yelling at Ashley about giving me privacy to notice that Jayden was standing right behind her. I had guessed that he had seen just as much as she did from the look on his face. His jaw was tight, his jaw bones practically ready to crack under the pressure, his mouth was turned into a frown, his eyes had hardened and his fists were balled up tightly at his sides. Surprisingly, though, his emerald eyes were sending daggers to Mia rather than me. Mia met his gaze casually and a small, sly smile came upon her face. It was if she was trying to send him a message that was close to I've won or Look at what've done. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing!

Ever since then, I had been curious to find out more about what exactly happened between Mia and Jayden. I knew that Jayden wouldn't tell me so I didn't even both asking him. He's been giving dirty looks since then though. I was expecting that a bit but the looks just got dirtier and dirtier. I think he's killed me about ten million times with his looks. But, even if I did ask him about what happened how would I know that he wasn't lying? Hell, how did I even know that Mia wasn't lying? I didn't want to push the topic but I didn't want to be in the dark in case I unintentionally got involved in it. I would defend Mia if I really had to but I'd like to know what I'm defending her for.

I looked over at her to see that her big blue eyes were already on me. Her chin was in the palm of her hand as her ocean colored eyes stared at me with adoration. When she noticed I was meeting her gaze, she blushed softly and looked away. Unconsciously, a small smile played on my lips as I looked away as well. Another thing that was bothering me about Friday night though was the emptiness I felt when I was kissing her. I literally didn't feel a thing and it confused the hell out of me. I mean, I knew that I liked her and I knew that she liked me too. So, why did I feel so indifferent about our kisses? I even tried to go a bit further just to try to get some burst of emotion out of myself. Instead, I ended up with nothing. If anything, the emptiness just got colder. I felt like a jerk as I sat there and kissed her with nothing while I bet she was having butterflies like crazy. I wish I could get over the feeling. I didn't like it. I felt like a robot when the emptiness was there...something I already was half the time.