sweet as sugar, cold as ice

Chapter 29

Alex's pov

I stood stunned. Unsure what to say. He's dead. It can't be true.

I looked down at my wrists, scarred from what seems like such a long time ago now...

*flashback*

"You look like your getting close to Naomi." I smirked whilst Ben turned the corner "what do you mean?" He got all serious "you so like her." I let out a laugh "I do not!" He shouted jokingly "you do but, don't you Ben" I teasingly said whilst poking his arm "I don't" he turned around and started tickling me, I was laughing so much "Ben! Stop, it's so, so..." I couldn't even speak for laughter "what ticklish?" He smirked "say that you don't think I like Naomi." He laughed "never!" I shouted through my laughing "looks like I'm going to have to keep tickling you then!" "Fine, fine. You don't like Naomi!" I shouted "sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you there, Lexa!?" He teasingly answered, still tickling me "I said you don't- BEN! Watch the-" and it all went black.

My eyes slowly fluttered open, it took a while for me to adjust to the lighting and figure out where I was. I sat up a bit in my bed and realised I had tubes in my arms, it appeared I was in a hospital.

It then all came back, Ben and I in the car having a laugh, then the crash. Oh god.

My mother appeared from the other side of the door "oh Alex! Thank god your awake!" She ran over hugging me. I hugged her back.

We sat for around ten minutes just in silence, doing nothing.

"Where's Ben?" I asked and my mother lowered her head "mum? Where is he?" I asked, panicked "I'm so sorry, Alex." She looked at me "Ben didn't pull through, he passed away a few hours ago." I felt tears at the corners of my eyes, then slowly roll down my cheeks.

He's gone. My best friend. He's gone

*1 day later*

It wouldn't go into my head. Ben is dead. I lay on my bed in my bedroom, I got out of hospital about two hours ago.

Ben's dead and it's my fault. It's all my fault, if I hadn't have started teasing him he wouldn't have crashed the car, and my best friend would still be here. With me.

I just wanted all of the pain to go away, all of it. I didn't mean to make Ben crash, if I could go back in time and fix things I would. But I can't. He's gone.

I ran into my on suite bathroom and locked the door.

I couldn't think of another way to take the pain away. I rummaged through my drawer till I found what I needed.

I took the razor to my wrist and let the blood seep out.

"It's my fault." I whispered to myself.

*end of flashback*

"You can't be. Your dead." I swallowed "no Alex. It's me Ben" he smiled "I- I don't believe you" he grabbed my shoulders lightly and sat down next to me "it's me, I ran away. Dyed my hair and changed my name. It's simple really." "Why should I believe you, you could just be playing some kind of sick joke on me" I frowned "think about it Lexa, why did you never see my body?" He asked, I didn't answer "why was there no funeral?" I didn't answer "see. It all makes sense." And the more I think about it, it does all make sense "so my parents and your parents lied to me?" I asked on the verge of crying "they must of" he replied

He then hugged me tightly. That's when I started crying. My dead best friend isn't dead. And I thought my life was already messed up enough. I thought my problems where about to end, when really they were only just beginning....