sweet as sugar, cold as ice

Chapter 30

Alex's pov

I cried and cried. I couldn't believe it. Ben isn't dead, but I also couldn't believe that everyone had lied to me about it, why would they do that?

"Harry and Zayn are arguing" Gillian popped her head through the kitchen door and then walked back out

"I better go and stop Harry" I half smiled as I begun walking through to the livingroom.

"Zayn! Your the fucking banker you've clearly took too much money away from me!" Harry shouted "no! I have not, I can count you know" Zayn defended, I really didn't need to hear Harry and Zayn arguing right now.

My head started spinning as I began to feel sick, I ran to the toilet and kneeled down beside it and begin to bring it all up. It was probably because of how much alcohol I had drank aswell as finding out about Ben, I felt my hair being pulled away from my face. And once I was done I turned to see Niall or Ben, I don't know what to call him.

"I thought it was my fault you know" I blurted out "what?" He asked "your death, I blamed myself" he wrapped his arm around me as we sat on the bathroom floor "why would it have been your fault? I wasn't even dead." He explained "but I thought you were dead, I started having a joke with you, then you crashed, you have no idea how terrible I felt" I explained as tears rolled down my cheeks.

He didn't say anything he just hugged me, and I cried into his chest.

"Niall! Get your hands off of her!" Harry screamed whilst walking into the bathroom "Harry," Niall/ Ben warned.

"No-" Harry began, I turned my head towards Harry and his face softened "what's wrong, Alex?" I couldn't even speak.

"I'll leave you two to it then" Niall stood up and left, Harry sat down next to me.

"When I still lived in my old town, I had this best friend Ben" I began explaining "he was everything to me, we did everything together" Harry just listened "we always had been since we were younger, then Ben and I were coming back from this house party thing and I started joking and teasing him, and he crashed the car." "Was he okay?" Harry asked, curious "well... I was told by my family and his that he was dead. I blamed myself. So much that it resulted in self harming" Harry pulled me into his chest and kissed my forehead "they lied. Nobody new where he was, they just told me he was dead. And it turns out Ben... Ben is Niall." Harry's eyes widened "what?"

"I didn't believe it either, but I'm happy that he is." Harry just smiled.

Every one began to leave as it got later.

Harry and I went to sleep.

Except I couldn't sleep, I lay awake trying to solve why nobody told me why he wasn't dead.

"Alex?" Harry blurted out "yeah?" " you know that time Nicole fell down the stairs?" He asked, why was he asking about this "it wasn't an accident, it was Louis."

*the next day*

It was around 1pm and I was bored so I decided to go for a walk or a run, just whatever I can be bothered doing.

And I new exactly where I was going.

I walked out of Harry's house and down the lane, I walked for what seemed like forever till I found myself where I needed to be.

Knock, knock, knock. "Alex?" Aston answered Louis door, I stepped in and pushed Aston "why didn't you tell me?" "Tell you what?" "That Ben wasn't dead?" His eyes widened "h- how do you know that?" He stuttered "I know a lot of things you don't know about."

"We didn't tell you because he was missing. We knew that's all you would have thought about, and you didn't need all of that put on you at that point in time." He explained "I'd still rather you told me."

"Alex? Is that you" Molly came running down the hallway "where have you been?" She asked excitedly " oh nowhere" I smiled she took my hand and dragged me through to the livingroom "look who's here!" She squealed, everyone's eyes widened.

"Your back"