Heartlessly Insane

Regret

I walked the cold and lonely journey to school, and everything was passing by in slow motion. The vodka was REALLY starting to kick in, and honestly it felt pretty good to not be my sad and lonesome self. I reached the double doors that lead to hell, and I took a deep breath before putting on my resting bitch face, and flinging the door open. Everyone here was too scared of me to say anything, unless you were the group of girls that has been taunting me ever since I started going to this school.

I treaded my way through the hallways, and endured seven, 1 hr and 45 min classes. I skipped lunch like I always do, to go sit outside underneath the big willow tree in the courtyard. Whenever I'm at Schoville High, I sit under this tree during free periods and let the sun warm my aching bones. This tree was my only escape away from the melancholy journey that is my life. I have no friends to sit with, no boyfriend to love, and no siblings to watch over. I was the quiet loner, and I planned on staying that way.

After the last bell rang, I began walking down the road twords my house as I replaced my resting bitch  face with the pained expression I wear when I'm alone. When I finally reached home, my knees went weak and the hot tears starting flowing down my cheeks again. I grabbed the key from my back pack and slowly unlocked the door with trembling fingers. I shuffled slowly through the door, and to my room. When I opened my door I saw that my sheets had been put back on and the bed made up. I looked around my clean and lonely room, and saw a white rectangle on my desk. I walked over and looked at the note. It was addressed to me from my mother. She told me that she would be gone on another week long business trip, so that means I'll be home alone for a week. My mother was normally gone on business trips so I was used to being home alone. I walked over to my bed and stripped down to my underwear, as I mustered all the strength I could to pull the covers back, and sink slowly into bed. I covered myself up and the tears started to flow again. Huge, hot droplets fell onto my pillow and my nose started to run down my face. I wiped my face off with the end of my sheet and sat up in my bed. I leaned my back against the wall and cried harder than I thought humanly possible. I stopped breathing, and my heart was pounding. I opened my mouth to scream the pain away and let my lungs be free, but the only thing that came out was a whispered cry. I clutched my sheets tightly as my face scrunched up in agony, and I let out another whispered cry. I continued this until my eyes could produce no more tears for me to cry. I sat quietly, and numbly stared at the wall. When you cry for so long, you lose feeling. Nothing hurts anymore. You know that you have a metaphorical hole in your heart, but the pain of crying was so immense, that it numbed everything else you were feeling. It was a temporary fix...