The police and I are familiar. Seems every time I turn around, they're being called or something. I have dreams that I'm Roger Rabbit ... Trevor actually said, "Look out it's Peter Cottontail and Roger Rabbit! We're going to need back-up!" He being Peter Cottontail. My medicine is helping me remember who I was before this happened to me, though. Before I met the vampire and dated him for two years. I had no idea he was draining me. Until he started walking like me and got his hair cut like me. It was very weird.
"Baby, you were a Vampyre, and now I am the Walking Dead. There's a crack in the mirror, and a blood stain on the bed. I got the ways in me for New Orleans, I'm going down by the river where it's warm and green. I'm going to have a drink and walk around, I got a lot of things to think about."
I had noticed another girl he had done it to her, too. I looked at their pictures of them together and she had this 'dead' look to her. He'd pumped her full of drugs too and left her just like me. He looked exactly like her in one photo. Fucking parasite. Oddly, she reminded me of an ex girlfriend from another life.
I was intoxicated much of our time together, Josh and I. So many times I should've left that guy. I hated him for what he had done to me. He seemed to be feigning innocence, as if he had no idea. Maybe he was nothing more than a tool to harm me, placed in far more manipulative hands. I'm starting to see there's no telling how deep the rabbit hole goes, not at first. It's definately better than this boring reality.
~*~
By now, I've recovered some. A little bit, but nothing like I once was. I didn't like the way the medicine was effecting me. So I didn't take it and ended up in the hospitals a lot. I was mistreated sometimes. But nothing unforgivable. I guess. Some of it I shouldn't forgive. I don't want to forgive Josh, or the brothers of my past, which may have been Josh. Somehow I remember very many screaming children, asking for my love, parents requesting me to babysit their unwanted offspring. Babies that were hard to handle, trouble children, and special education, but also, undiscovered illnesses and mental conditions, physical malformities, deaf, mute, you name it. I was their teacher. And almost, like a Father, in my own way. But I have learned, from a past enemy, even, that people will keep returning to the baby-like-state, but please, do allow the ones that have trauma to "play baby." But ones who do it to grow fat and indulge, should surely be punished, and cut off. Then, you can just make fun of them for shitting on themselves. Just kidding. Sort of, that is.
I've gotten my clothes stolen, and unfairly attacked, physically. I don't want once this gets published for people hearing about me going back to the hospital. I want to be done with it. I realized quickly, however, that the medicine was making me a little unhappy. Very unhappy.
But instead of episodes, it was actually just me fighting with my mom. She and I don't see eye to eye most of the time. She's also a Sagittarius and I'm a Gemini, exact opposites...
