Boats & Birds (Dazai X Reader)

R U Mine?

You didn't know what was happening.

You didn't know where you were.

You didn't know why people were running away from you and screaming in fear.

Ah, right! You lost control over your ability.

Energy of dark colors surrounded you. It was black, bloody red, brown and grey, but there was also a little bit of white. Black as offense, red as rage, brown as hate, grey as sadness and white as numbness. Everything that was buried inside of you for such a long amount of time has broke out of you as if your feelings were animals and your body was their cage. This energy was destroying everything around you. You couldn't stop it and it made you feel helpless and useless. How could someone like Dazai love you if you couldn't even control your own ability? Right now, you really wanted to die. How could you live like that for so long? How did you manage to survive all these years? How could a creature like you dare to live and even try to be happy? Life doesn't like such things. You know what life does with people, who are not good enough?

It kills them.

Tears were running down your cheeks as you were slowly walking along the streets. You couldn't do anything and now you were only waiting for this stop. This nightmare can't last forever, can it? At one point, your ability will end due to the lack of strength. You just had to wait for it.

You weren't feeling anything and you felt to much at the same time. You wanted this to end. Why was it all happening to you? All you wanted was to be wanted and loved! Is that so much?! You were so happy and positive, when you were little, but life taught you who you have to be: some depressed creature, who was only meant for destruction. Of course, Port Mafia wanted to get you. You could be such a perfect weapon. Now, when you were in such state, you were even thinking about joining them. What else could you do? You won't be able to work at the Agency because you don't have enough strength to see Dazai every day. You couldn't go back to your previous life since it was too dangerous for you to live with normal people. The only thing left was to go to Port Mafia. Maybe you really should join them...

"(Y/N)!!" Someone called you suddenly

Immediately, you stopped in your tracks. Your tears stopped too. It was all because of that familiar voice. It couldn't be him, could it? He couldn't be following you all this time. He couldn't do such thing for you. It had to be your imagination. Nothing else...

"(Y/N)!!" He called you again

Now the voice sounded closer. You stood still. Every part of your body was paralyzed. You wanted to say something, but no words could come out of your throat. You were just waiting for the proof of the existence of that voice. You were sure, that it wasn't real, but a very small part of you still had some hope left, that it was him. You were waiting for something to happen. Maybe he'll say something or do something. There were two ways how the things could go: he will save you or he will be the death of you.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Blue circles appeared out of the blue and your ability was deactivated. You felt weak in your knees and you felt a bit dizzy, but you didn't fell. Fear suddenly filled your whole body. You felt your hands getting colder because of that. Despite all that, you put yourself together and you turned around.

Dazai was standing close to you still holding your shoulder. You felt tears appearing in your eyes again. His face was flushed and he breathed heavily because of running. He looked at you as if he couldn't believe, that he finally stopped you. Dazai couldn't believe, that for the first time in his life, he managed to save someone precious for him. Usually, he lost everyone he loved, but now he saved you. Here you were, standing right in front of him real and alive.