Boats & Birds (Dazai X Reader)

Is There Somewhere You Can Meet Me?

Dazai's POV

I woke up because the sun rays were shining at my face. I wasn't annoyed or something. Nothing could affect my mood because I knew, that when I'll turn around, I'll see the most precious person in my life sleeping peacefully right next to me.

But when I turned around, all I saw was the empty bed.

My heart starting beating faster.

"(Y/N)?" I called her

But the silence was all I heard

I rose on the bed and looked around. Yesterday, we threw our clothes on the floor because we couldn't hold ourselves back because of the desire, but now...everything was tidy. I saw my clothes folded carefully on the chair, but I couldn't see any of hers. I started worrying more and I sat on the bed.

"(Y/N), where are you?" I called her again louder

I heard nothing again.

"Ok, don't panic. She could go out to get breakfast or to buy something. Don't panic, Dazai." I kept telling myself this, but something inside of me knew, that things went wrong.

I stood up from the bed not caring if I was still naked from the events of the last night and headed to my clothes. My heart skipped a bit, when I saw a neatly folded letter on top of them.

"No. She couldn't..."

I quickly took the letter, opened it and read.

This is what was written in it:

"Dazai, my love, I'm sorry for telling you about it this way, but I don't have any other choice, unfortunately. I'm leaving. I don't do this because I don't love you anymore or I'm pissed off at you because of something so don't blame yourself and try to make yourself the one, who's guilty. I'm leaving because I love you too much to stay. I know, it sounds crazy, but let me explain this: if I stay, you'll have to keep running away from the Mafia with me. You won't be able to live peacefully, you'll be in this trouble with me and I don't want you to. I don't want you to suffer, when you haven't done anything. You've already experienced something like this, when you ran away from the Mafia and I don't want you to live it again. This is only my problem and I should be the one dealing with it. You will never know how hard it was for me to leave. When I was looking at your sleeping frame, some part of me told me to be selfish and stay, but I couldn't do this to you. I will never be able to explain how much I love you. Remember, that 99% of my body is made of my love to you. I don't know if we'd ever see each other again so I'll tell you this now: promise me, that you'll be happy. This is all I want. You've been through so much troubles in your life so now you deserve happiness more than anyone. I won't tell you to forget your past because it's impossible. Our past is a part of ourselves, which help us to become our present self. We can't forget it, but we can accept it and move on. This is what I want you to do. Remember, that my love with always leave with you.

Forever yours

(Y/N)"

I read it 7 times trying to find something new between those lines, something, that could help me find her, something, that could help me understand what should I do, but there was nothing. Words were just words and they meant what they meant and nothing more. I searched through the whole room to find something else from her, but there was nothing

This letter and my burning feelings was all, that was left after her.

I couldn't believe in what was happening. I couldn't lose someone dear to me again. Last time, it was my best friend, Odasaku. This time, it's the girl, who owns my heart. I couldn't let this happen.

I called her 20 times, left 3 voice messages and sent 15 messages, but she wasn't answering. Usually, I've always been calm and could think straightly, but not this time. I was ready to rip my hair out because I had no idea where she was. Fear, which was eating me was no help too.

Never in my entire life have I been so afraid. And who could think, that the reason of this fear will be a girl, who I met not that long ago!

I had to find her.

I couldn't sit there and do nothing so I packed my things and rushed out of the hotel and to the car.

I had to see her again.

~~~

WHEN DID THIS SHITTY STORY REACHED 5K??!! Hunbuns, I don't deserve it!!💖

Important update:

My phone shows, that this story has almost hit 4k reads, but my Ipad shows, that it already has 5k :/