And Now You're Gone (Sequel To: She Disappeard)

17.

Then Luke clears his throat. He is going to  say it! "Lauren, do you want to... Uhmm.. Do you want to go on a date some time?" He says.

What?!

"Uhh... I.. Uh.." Is he kidding me? Does he likes me? Luke? He likes me?

I never thought of him in that way.

Could I like him? I don't like Aiden anymore.

"Sorry! I didn't want you to.. Uuh.. To make you uncomfortable.. What if we just hang out? Us two?" He asks me sweetly but also afraid.

"I... Okay!" I say after debating with my own thoughts. Hanging out with Luke. The brother of Aiden. Who I liked. But don't like anymore.

Could it be possible that I like Luke? I.. He likes me? Wait..

He never said that.

He only wanted to go on a date with me. He is really sweet though. He always wanted the best for me. When he picked me up when Aiden couldn't. That conversation in the car changed my oppinion off him. I thought he was a shy guy. But since then he started to act differently to me and I different to him. More open.

More like friends.

So could it be possible for me to like him? I don't know.

"Lauren.. I'm sorry if this maded everything awkward. I can see clearly that you didn't expect this. I- just.. Can you give it a chance? I mean like- You agreed on hanging out with me.. But.. Do you really want that? If you don't want it- It's okay! I'm not going to ju-" that's when I decided I was done with his rambling. "It's okay Luke! I would love to hang out with you! I just- Yeah.. I didn't expect it.. I'm just realizing that I don't like a certain person anymore and this just... Really shocked me" I say while looking at him. I see the smile on his face growing bigger.

"That's amazing Lauren! So when do you want to hang out?" He asks me pretty excited. "Uh... Saturday?" I ask him. Saturday is one of my free days.  Normally I spend it with Aiden or I clean my house. But I can hang out with Luke.

Maybe I will realize that I really don't like Aiden anymore.

You don't like him...

"Saturday sounds good! I will text you then!" Luke says while driving into the driveway of my appartment. "Thanks for driving me home!" I say while shutting the car door. Luke waves to me and then he drives away.

I sigh.

This was a... Weird night.

With Chloe screaming to much. To much! Luke asking me out. I sang. I REALLY SANG! When I walk inside my appartment I feel like dying. I'm so tired. Why is everything so hard?  Why can't my life be easy?

Why couldn't Dani be still alive.

Those moments are the worst.
The moments when you remember.
You remember her sitting next to you.
You remember how she smiled and could make everyone happy.
The moments you wish she was still here.

I feel like crying at those moments. Normally I do. But this night I didn't. This night I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel anything. Like I was numb. Like I was void.

I'm not sure if I'm depressed.
I mean, I'm not sad.
But I'm not exactly happy either.
I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, but sometimes when I'm alone at night.. I forget how to feel.

Just like this night.

×××

I woke up in the morning with a empty feeling in my stomach. Not like I'm hungry. I just don't want anything.

Not now. Not in a minute. Not in a hour. I pick up my phone from the bedside table and see I've a lot of messages from my sisters.

What the..?

From: Chrissy 💖
To: Me

LAUREN!

LOOK ON YOUTUBE!

YOU'VE ALMOST 1 MILLION VIEWS!!

IN ONE NIGHT!!!!!!

😲😲😲

What on Youtube? Did Luke put something on Youtube? I also look at the other messages.

From: Kath
To: Me

You were amazing!

Why didn't you tell anything?

Congratulations!

Love u! 💕

Really something for Katherine to send.

From: Lisee 😋
To: Me

YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO US!

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL US THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Btw good luck with being famous 😏

Okay?

From: Cupcake!
To: Me

Lauren!

Are you feeling good?

Why did you do that?

I didn't expect you to do that!

Sorry if that came rudely..

I'M JUST REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just ignore them all and start Youtube. I search up my own name. And then I see it.

Impossible - cover by Lauren Cimorelli

1 million views. 1 million people saw me singing in 1 night.

This are going to be a lot more people.. I look at the channel who uploaded it.

Luke..

Of course who would it be else? Then suddenly I feel the urge to go looking at the comments.

Iamfabulous: Amazing! I really love your hair and voice!

I smile at comments like those. People can be so nice.

Likeagangster: Why is she even singing? So horrible she ruined this song! What a freaking wh*re that she is!!!

Those comments don't really hurt. Sure I don't like them but I get those comments since I was young.

Thenumberonecountrygirl: I FREAKING HATE THIS GIRL! FIRST SHE IS ACTING ALL SAD BECAUSE HER SISTER DIED?! THEN SHE LEFT HER WHOLE FAMILY TO BE A FREAKING WH*RE SOMEONE ELSE, AND NOW SHE IS TRYING TO GET ATTENTION BY POSTING A VIDEO OF HER SINGING AGAIN?!!!

And those comments did hurt. There where a few on this level. A lot of people agreed with that. And I feel like crying.

I'm horrible.

I left my whole family to go to London. Just for my own will. I'm selfish.

I.. I can't do anything right. People hate me. My sisters hate me. Why? Why can't I do anything right.

I thought this was the right decision. Why am I always wrong? I WROTE THE ADRESS ON THAT LETTER! If I didn't wrote that.. Dani would be still alive..

It's all my fault.

---------------------------------------------

So Lauren is slowly slipping into a depressing :(.

<3