And Now You're Gone (Sequel To: She Disappeard)

19.

Danielle Nicolle Cimorelli,

I think it's time I let you go. And that's hard to do because some part of me will miss you for the rest of my life. But the daydreaming, the running in place, it's not healthy. So this is me, cutting the cord. This is me doing what I should have done months ago: saying goodbye.

This past months I experienced a lot of different feelings. It began with me feeling like I could never see goodbye to you. Then I finally thought I could do it. But I couldn't, I was pretending that I was okay. I was pretending that I didn't felt a hole in my heart all the time. I was so busy with pretending that I was okay, that even I believed it for awhile. I was pretending I wasn't me.

And that was something new from me. Because you always kept me on the ground. With you I never pretended. You would slap me if I wanted to change myself.

And I'm gratefull for that.

But still I can't do this alone. I need help. And that's Luke. All those months I thought I liked Aiden. But all those times Luke was there for me. Luke always cared for me and helped me.

I can remember so many moments with you and it scares me. I'm afraid I'm going to forget those memories. And I don't want that. 'Cause a piece of me will always be with you.

The moment you left me, my heart was split in two; one side was filled with memories, the other side died with you. Sometimes when I lay awake at night. I go down those memories. I remember all of them.

Remembering you is easy, I do it everyday, but missing you is a heartache that never goes away. I hold you tightly within my heart and there you will remain; you see life has gone on without you, but will never be the same.

I hope you're happy there. I hope you've the nice friends there. And that you're boring people with your sassy remarks.

But right now it's time for me to say goodbye. It's time for me to let go. The do what I didn't want to do for months.

I'm accepting that this was the way it was supossed to go.

I never wanted it to go this way. If it was for me you would be still alive. But I know I can't do that.

You're gone.

And that's okay. I can handle that. Sure I miss you, but I know you want me to be happy. So that's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to be friends with Chloe without thinking she is the biggest bitch ever.

I'm going to hang out more with Aiden because right now I'm always ditching him and then he goes hanging out with Danielle.

And I'm going to give Luke a change. I'm going to give him the ability to break my heart.

Even though I'm going to regret those things. Especially with Chloe.

But I can make faults. You're going to laugh at me from heaven. I'm going to live my life to the fullest and I'm going to do so many stupid things that you can't breath because of how much you're laughing.

And you're going to love me for it. Because that's what you want me to. Even though I'm a little bit to late. I should've done this a lot earlier. But I'm happy I'm doing this now.

I'm happy I'm going to make you proud. I'm ready.

I'm ready to let go.

I was all the time ready to let you go. It's a horrible thing to think you've to wait to be ready. Right now I'm beginning to think that no one is actually ever ready. There is almost no such thing as ready, there is only now.

And you've to do it right now. I've to do it right now. And I'm going to do it right now.

I'm saying goodbye.

Danielle Nicole Cimorelli you will always be in my heart. I'll never forget the things we did. The memories will never leave my heart. I'm gratefull you were in my life. I'm gratefull for the time we spend together. I'm one of the luckest person alive, because I could get to know you so good. Your live was to short, but I can life with that.

Dani, you weren't just my sister. You were my friend. You were the person who knew me the best. Almost like twinsisters. You were my spice. And I love you. I love you so so so much! This  is from me to you.

Goodbye,

Lauren Christine Cimorelli, your sugar.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks when I drop my pen. I did it. I finally did it. It's in the middle of the night but I don't care. I did the thing I was to scared to do for months.

I said my final goodbye to Dani. I pick up the letter. A few tears are laying on it. I look at the amount of words I written. This is it.

I've closed the door. A new chapter is going to begin for me. With the letter in my hand I walk to my bed. From under it I pick a box.

The box.

Quikly I open the box. More letters come into my view. Every letter I've written here is written with tears. Every letter is for Dani.

All with the same meaning.

I miss her. Even though I said goodbye. I can never forget her. I will always miss her. I'm just going to realize to live with it. There will be a place in my heart where she belonged.

A place in my heart that can't be filled. But it's getting smaller. It will never fully disappear. But I'm going to live with it.

I'm going to live without Dani. But with the memories. And she is watching me from heaven. She will always watch me.

She is my angel.

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This story is coming to an end :(. Butttt this is not the end!!!! Just remind that ;). Hope you liked this chapter. It was a really hard chapter to write but I hope you liked it! <3