And Now You're Gone (Sequel To: She Disappeard)

18.

I sit here on my bed thinking. Just thinking. Thinking about the comments on the video. Am I happy about them? Kinda.. It's just.. Some of them are really mean.

I'm also thinking about the views of the video. It just hit the 2 million views. And it's only online for a day. That never happened with our main channel.

Never.

Is this a sign that I need to keep singing? Alone?

Ugh! Why is everything so frustrating and hard?! Why can't people like me?

Suddenly I hear the doorbell ring. I wipe the tears from my cheeks away. I take a deep breath and walk downstairs. Who could it be?

When I open the door I see a very worried Luke standing. What's wrong? "Hey Lauren.. Are you okay?" He asks me. Oh no, he can see that I've cried.

"Yes.." I say slowly looking at the ground. Then I feel two arms around me. He hugs me? I wrap slowly my arms around him to. "I'm sorry for posting that video without your permission, I didn't thought it would get that much views and when I saw that I panicked and then you didn't call me to scream at me or something, so I thought you were really mad at me and then I read the comments and I was getting worried of you, so I came here cause you never speak the truth on the phone" he speaks fast.

Awww... He was worried for me.

"Calm down Luke, it doesn't matter I'm just... I just feel a little bit down because of the comments, but it doesn't ma-" I try to say before I'm cut off by Luke. "Lauren! Don't be so hard on yourself! You're allowed to feel down! You can show you're feelings to me.." He says looking me into my eyes. I feel myself getting red because of his intence look.

Then I burst into tears. I just couldn't hold it anymore. I'm confused. So confused. And I don't know what to think about the comments. And I want to go home and I just don't have any idea of what is going on right now!

I feel 2 arms holding me suddenly. "Ssshh... You can cry Lauren.. Everything is going to be alright. You can get through this" He whispers into my ear. I try to stop crying.

"I-I..." I try to say something but Luke cuts me of. My shoulders are still shaking and the tears are still streaming down my cheeks. "Sshh.. Cry as hard as you want to. But just make sure when you stop crying, you never cry for the same reason again." He says like he knows that I'm not crying about the comments.

And he is right.

I'm tired of pretending everything is okay.

I'm tired of feeling down. Just because I can't forget it.

I can't accept the fact she is gone. But I need to accept it. I need to...

I need to find myself... I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to be that sweet shy girl with a weird sense of humour.

Right now I'm someone who forces a fake smile everyday without realizing it herself. I can't enjoy the things I used to enjoy so much.

"Luke? Am I a terrible person? I- I did horrible things and..." I say him suddenly. I see something in his eyes changing. To angry and then to sadness.

"Lauren, in life we do things. Some we wish we never had done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they shape every detail of us. If we were to reserve any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are, where you have been and most importantly where you are going. She loved you Lauren.. You are one of the most wonderful persons I've ever met and I can't handle seeing you broken. You're more then this. You're so strong. Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is just an example of how strong you are as a person. You like to pretend everything is okay. Lauren, I can see through that. You aren't happy right now 'cause you can't forget of the past. You really should head forward..." he says while looking into my eyes. I take his whole speech in.

Nobody ever said such a thing like that to me..

I quikly wipe my tears away since I stopped crying. I only look at him what can I say to him? He.. He is so special. Why did I never notice that in him before? He cares so much about his brother and he is always there for everyone. He is nice... He is sweet. He is caring. He is like.. the perfect guy.

"Lauren? Please say something to me" He says almost pleading me. "I-... Nobody.. Ever said something, something like that. Thank you.." I whisper the last part to him. Luke smiles at me while he goes with his hand through his hair.

"So do you want to go to the movies?" He asks me nervously. Wow.. Subject change. I nod at him while beginning to smile. He changed me..

In one minute.

Just with his words.

He makes me feel different about the world. And I think I already love him. Just for helping me. Just for being him. And being there for me. Even though I didn't realize that always.. The moment when I woke up crying in their car and I didn't even knew them that good:

"Is she okay?" I hear someone asking. Luke! He is driving the car. "Y-yeah I am, just had a bad dream" I say.

When he picked me up from the airplane:

"Lauren!" I hear a voice screaming. I lift my head up and I'm quietly surprised who I'm seeing.

"Luke?"

When he like usually gived me the best advice:

"Lauren, I'm not going to push into this but the only thing I'm saying is that if you don't do this now. You'll never do it and you have a beautifull voice Lauren. Use it" Luke says. Start again? It sounds really good.

When I snapped at him because I was irritated of how Aiden was acting with Danielle:

"Sorry..." I whisper back. Luke who was just watching the movie turns his head back to me. "I know you didn't mean it like that" he whispers back before full focusing on the movie. I also decide to start watching the movie.

He was always the one asking if I was okay..

"Are you okay?" Luke suddenly asks. I turn around and look into his eyes. Luke stops hugging me and looks at me. "Yeah.. I think so" I give him a smile proving him I'm feeling alright.

And he was the only person who saw I wasn't alright.

I'm going to be alright. But not without help. And I think I found my help...

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SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING THIS LONG!!!!!