Finding My Dad

10) court pt 1

This chap is dedicated to the comments I got on chap 9, thank you so much! Sry I've been super busy, but I'm settled down now so I should update more often ;)

Fuck

Fuck fuck

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Fuck

You see, this is why I shouldn't open up. Because I act on impulse and everything comes crashing down.

I ended the phone call and put my phone on silent knowing he'll try and call me again. and again, and again.

I'm not telling my dad what Alex did. not under any circumstances. I know its stupid if I dont, but I'm too embarrassed and do NOT want to talk to my dad about it. and if this gets brought up tomorrow, I'm scared I'll have to go into detail and I just can't re explain what happened. I'm so embarrassed and frankly scared as hell of Alex now. I never thought he would go as low as to do that to me, and I didn't think i'd ever self harm.

I'm too mentally exhausted to deal with this. I don't understand why I can't just have a semi normal life, why can't I have parents that love me?

Yeah, I have Zayn, and he loves me to death. Harry and Liam also are nice to me, but I don't have the feeling of satisfactory. Apart of me wants my parents to get back together and for us to live as a normal family, but another part of me wants to go with my dad and never look back, to ignore the drama in my life. I know neither of those are possible, but I can dream right?

~~~~

I'm currently getting ready for court today. I couldn't be anymore nervous.

I haven't spoken to my mom or Alex sense....yeah.

I walked downstairs and they were running around doing god knows what. Alex caught sight of me and motioned for me to go over towards him.

Id rather not

But I knew I had to so I did.

"Today we will make sure you can be able to live with mommy and daddy" he said while kissing the top of my head.

What the fuck?

I don't know what the hell to say. there's a lot of things wrong with that statement.

One, he's not my dad

Two, I'm not sure why he's trying to be nice when he hates me

Three, I have no interest in living with them and they all know that.

"Well don't just ignore me" he snapped. oh, now he's back, ok.

"Um, I don't know what to say" I whispered.

"You're going to get asked some questions today, and when you do,you're going to make sure you leave out the details of our little 'date' on tuesday, understood?"

I was dumbfounded. I knew I wasn't going to ss anything about what happened, but not for that reason.

If I tell them what happened, I'll for sure be able to live with Zayn, but if I dont, I who knows what could happen.

He smacked me and said "answer me!"

"I understand"

"Good girl" he smiled. I wanted to throw up.

"What are you two talking about?" my mom asked.

"Just reassuring our daughter everything will be ok" Alex lied. so my mom doesn't know what happened on tuesday? interesting.

My mom came over to me and said "don't worry, you will be living with me and your daddy from now on"

I knew she didn't mean my dad, she meant alex.