The phone continues to ring until Zayn finally picks up.
"Carmen? What do you want?" I hear him. He's panting...As if he was just in a race.
"What are you doing?" I say in shock. That's not why I called. I'm just worried that Perrie's doing something bad to him. Sexually bad.
"Why is it your fucking business?" He snaps. My heart sinks. He never talked to me like that before.
"Well I wanted to know if you were alright." I say. My voice cracks. I don't know why I am beginning to cry.
"I'm fine. Can I go now? Because I really don't want to talk to you. And I'm busy." He grunts. I can hear a girl sigh in the background.
"Bye, bitch!" The girl says into the phone, and hangs up. It's Perrie, obviously.
What were they doing? Why am I so worried? I am so tempted to take a bus and barge in. I shake my head, realizing how ridiculous that sounds. My mother calls me from downstairs and I grunt. She's home? I really don't feel like dealing with her.
"I'm coming, mom!" I yell and run down the stairs. She is half drunk and her body is spread all over the couch.
"Be a doll and grab me my phone. Your daddy needs to come and see your mommy." She smiles and laughs, taking a sip of her beer.
"Gross, mom." I grunt and toss the phone to her. I run back upstairs. My mother just made my night a thousand times worse. I need someone. I decide to call Levi. I pick up my phone again and dial his number. I need to remember Levi is so much better than Zayn. He answers immediately.
"Carmen! Hi sweet heart! It's one a.m. What are you doing awake?" I can here his smile through his words. He's so sweet. He's perfect. Why do I feel like I don't deserve him?
"I can't sleep." I respond.
"Are you home?" He asks.
"Yes, sadly. My mother is home drunk on the couch. She's calling my dad for...fun time?" I laugh to myself.
"Wow, okay. Want me to come over? I mean my parents are home and all but they are asleep. They always fall asleep at 8 pm." He says. At least he has parents who are reliable and on time. My parents barely even look at me.
"Sure. But be careful. My mom is not fun when she's drunken." I warn him. He laughs.
"Alright. I'll be there soon." He says and we exchange our "goodbyes". He has to walk. So do I, or take buses. I'm turning 16 in two months. I couldn't get my permit because my mother or father weren't committed to taking me to the DMV. But when I am 16, I can go alone. And I don't have to have my parents in the car. I honestly cannot wait to get a car. I just have to figure out how I'm supposed to get money for it.
I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I jump up, hoping it would be Levi. It is, of course. I smile and hug him, letting him in. I need someone to sleep next to me. I wish it could be Zayn. It would be Zayn if he hadn't turned into such an ass hole.
"What's wrong?" Levi says, lifting up my chin. I look at him, and see worry in his eyes.
"What? Nothing...Will you kiss me?" I say, our faces are close now. I want to feel what I felt with Zayn. Just one more time. Levi doesn't object and his soft lips touch mine. They move in sync, and I try to get it like me and Zayn had it. It isn't exact, but I am happy. I kiss him deeper. Zayn's face continues to scatter in my mind, and I try my hardest to get it out.
Levi pulls away. I look at him in confusion.
"What?" I ask in concern.
"You moaned Zayn's name..." Levi looks at me, almost in disgust.
"What? No...I didn't!" I say to him. He continues to stare at me. His face is filled with disbelief, distrust, and disgust.
"I'm not deaf. You said it right in my mouth. If I'm just your replacement for Zayn, I'm done. I really liked you Carmen. But obviously I mean nothing to you. You can go crawl back to Zayn...I'm sure he's much preferred than I am." Levi says with anger in his tone. He doesn't turn to leave, yet waits almost desperately for a response.
"No...I mean...No, at first you were bu--"
"No. No buts. At first? Is that supposed to make me feel any better? Goodbye Carmen." Levi storms out of my room. I'm such a mess. I fucked up again. Why can't I just be normal? I stand in the same spot and burst into tears. Not so much that Levi broke up with me, but that everything he said was true. I want Zayn more than air. I guess when they say you don't know what you have until it's gone is true.
