I wasn't sleeping. I was pretending. I honestly could not sleep with the music and the yelling. I couldn't sleep knowing that in a room near me Zayn and Perrie were having sex. I cringe at the thought and turn to my side. I am fully aware of my drunken state, but that won't stop me for doing something stupid. I get up from the bed and fall.
"Ow!" I yell as my head bangs on the carpet. I get up and wobble to the door. I don't know where my legs are taking me but I didn't care. I wasn't going to sleep here while everyone was having fun. As I walk out my ears stay open for moaning and screaming. apparently I was looking for Zayn and Perrie. I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I have screwed up so much might as well have fun. None of the rooms have any noise. That was really quick, I laugh. Before I head downstairs, I hear yelling, but not pleasure yelling. The 'I want to cut your throat open' type. I walk closer to the last door and listen.
"Oh yeah, that's why you're always all over her! You don't love me, you love her! She hates you just move on you pussy! She's never going to forgive you, you screwed yourself here buddy," Perrie says. I can here her scold. "It's me or her. But if you chose her, you won't get it. So I vote on me, personally." She laughs. She doesn't know if I would forgive him or not. Who is she to say? No, she's right.
"Well. Ah... Um... I chose Carmen. I am just not happy with you okay? You're good in bed and all, I mean not better than Kelsee—" Zayn stops. "Oops."
"What? You had sex with Kelsee?" Perrie says. Her voice sounds hurt for a change.
"It was more of anger sex, after what happened with Carmen and you were mad at me." Zayn explains. I gasp, and my arm falls on the door handle, opening the door. I fall inside and let out an "oof" as I fall.
"What the fuck? What are you doing?" Perrie yells.
"I was looking for the bathroom." I slur and smile.
"So you just fall in here?" She questions.
"I am drunk!" I laugh and roll on the floor. I try to get up but to keep laughing.
"I can see that." Zayn says in concern. Oh, Zayn. That's bad that I forgot he was there.
"I'm leaving Zayn, and for the record, I broke up with you, if anyone asks." Perrie says, and steps over me, stepping on my hand with her heel.
"Ow! Fucking hell!" I scream in pain. High heels hurt.
"You alright?" Zayn says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. I nod. His grip was to tight, and he pulled me too close to him. This time I didn't try to struggle away. We stare into each other's eyes. Zayn isn't drunk, or high like me. He's sober and knows what he's doing while I, was not. He grabs my hands as we sit on the bed, me on his lap facing him from the fall.
"Carmen. I broke up with Perrie," Zayn says after moments of silence.
"I know I was listening. That's sweet of you..." I say, mumbling.
"I miss you a lot...even if we are not something, I just want to be your friend. It hurts me everyday knowing what I've done to you and I just wanted one moment...one moment to tell you everything. How I feel. I could tell you're hurting but every time I try to come and talk something worse happens and I end up going home crying. Me, crying! See doesn't this mean something? I am not an emotional guy, yet you make me think of you everyday I—"
I couldn't listen to him anymore. I watch as the tears roll down his cheeks and I wipe them off one by one. I stare at him. I know we are going to kiss, so I make the first move. I place my lips on his, and immediately the powerful kiss emerged. The one that I long for, yet refuse to let it happen. I feel something happen, and no matter how hard I don't want to admit it, there's a true connection between us. An undeniable one that I can't hide. Everything I felt about him went into the kiss. Anger, lust, regret, love. He puts me on my back but our kisses do not stop. I knew he wasn't stupid enough to do anything further, and I am glad. The feeling that I don't want this to end fills my brain. It will eventually. I knew Zayn didn't want it to end either. He missed me as much as I missed him.
I pull away and catch my breathe. Zayn stares at me while I stare at the ceiling.
"How much did you drink? I feel like a got drunk the second your lips touched mine." He laughs.
"I drank way to much. And I'm exhausted." I sigh and I feel my eyelids grow heavier.
"Me too, but I'm not drunk." He answers. I mutter some words, but I don't even know what I'm saying. I truly am exhausted. My head falls to his clothed chest and I immediately feel warm.
"Do you want me to leave?" Zayn whispers.
"No." I answer. I drift off into a perfect world.
