Someone snores loud and scares me. I looks to my phone, it's 7:00 AM. I turn around to realize that this isn't anyone next to me, it's Zayn. I jump out of bed and begin to freak out. What happened? Why am I in bed with him? I look down and sigh in relief that my clothes are still on. I run my fingers through my hair and grab my phone. I try to stay quiet as I open the door to walk out. My head aches and I feel dizzy. I must have drank too much last night.
"Where are you going?" Zayn's raspy morning voice creeps up on me.
"Getting away from you. Why did I wake up next to you?" I ask, standing in the door way with my arms folded.
"You kissed me and asked me to stay, I'm sorry." He answers, sitting up. Faded images flash in my mind as I remember faintly what had happened. I remember how passionate it was, how I asked him to stay with me.
"I was drunk. It didn't mean anything, okay?" I assure him.
"Do you remember that I broke up with Perrie?" He asks before I turn to go.
"No," I answer in a soft voice.
"I did it for you."
"Well that's very thoughtful, but it's not going to change how I feel about you." I reply in a strict voice, though I want to cry in happiness.
"How do you feel about me?" He asks.
"I hate you. I hate you so much it hurts. Do you realize what you did to me? How much you've changed me? And changed yourself? And every time I think maybe, just maybe, that things will be fixed, they never do. You make them worse. What happened to you?"
"I thought...well...I though, maybe, you didn't like me for who I was. I thought you'd like the change. I mean I remember you always told me you love boys with tattoos and piercings." He laughs.
"You changed for me? That's really dumb for you to ruin your body just so I can be impressed." I answer.
"Well I wanted to look like this, it's not like I regret it." He replies dryly.
"That's nice." I say and turn to leave. I hope he really didn't expect me to believe him. That was pathetic and made me laugh as I walk down the stairs.
"Carmen! Please don't leave! I thought today would fix everything. I miss you and I can't admit it to myself. We were best friends...we trusted each other. We let one stupid kiss ruin it. Don't you feel something when we kiss? Or is it just me?" He says, His face is sincere.
"This isn't my fault. It's entirely you here." I say, ignoring his question.
"I know, and I realize that." He answers.
"Good, at least we both agree you're a horrible person." I scoff. Part of me, the part I should listen to, is telling me that I should forgive him, but my other half is telling me forgiving him will give me more drama and I can't bear anymore.
"Please Carmen, I've never been more honest in my life," He begs. "This...this is not me. I've banged every girl in my group and almost got one pregnant, I would never do that. But what scares me is that I love being this way, I love my tattoos and piercings. But my actions changed. And because of that I lost one of the things that made me happy, you. Carmen, I'm miserable. I can barely sleep thinking of all the things I've done to you. And you must be feeling a thousand percent worse. Let me make you feel happy again, I promise I won't mess up." He cries.
